univ331 Posted December 4, 2005 Posted December 4, 2005 First of all, everybody has offered great advice and it has really helped me out in this rough patch. Basically in my initial post me and my girlfriend were dating for about 3 months, but moved way too fast. She said she wanted to take a step back and I agreed. She's a couple years younger than me and just got into the "real world". She wanted time to adjust for herself and felt she would be selfish with her time and that she would not fulfill her responsibility of our relationship. We both said we feel strongly for each other and don't want to lose each other. Our communication has been slightly deteriorating for the last few weeks. I have made a few attempts to get together, but she was always busy. I stopped talking to her for a few days and then she sent me an email asking how i was. We had a good email conversation while at work that day, then I saw her at the gym that night. I told her that I was free in a few days if she'd like to grab a bite to eat. She said yes, but didn't seem convincing. She ended up cancelling through email because she forgot of a prior committment she had with her roommate. I replied and was understanding but I told her that I was disappointed and I missed talking to her and hanging out. There has been no communication since then, that was about 5 days ago. I want to call her sooo badly, but everyone is telling me not to. My problem is that I am an answer man, and I want to know what is going on all the time. This has probably hurt my relationships in the past. I probably came off as a desperate wuss asking her out when I saw her at the gym, then telling her that I miss things after she cancelled. I'm trying to give her time, and hope for the best. Is all hope lost? It's just so unbelievable to me because our relationship was absolutely great when she asked to take a step back, maybe too great. Do you think this no contact is a good idea?
itwontdawnsooner Posted December 5, 2005 Posted December 5, 2005 so summary is it moved too fast, both agreed to to take a step back, she knew she was going to be busy, she is busy, doesn't seem to have time to hang out what she said would probably happen, has happened. calling more/being more pushy will not help if she already knows how you feel about her. asking her to go out at the gym wasn't necessarily a bad thing, you can offer, and even saying you wish you two had gotten together (not making a huge deal of it i hope) seems alright. but at this point, if contact initiation is somewhat even, give it more time. its not that "no contact" is a good or bad idea, its just its hard to figure out what to do now and being too pushy is definitley what you dont want to do if shes feeling busy or having no time as hard as it is, because the relationship was so great at first, you cant force it and if she never makes time for you - not even a little - then she's either really busy or just not so sure anymore... youre right. give it time, hope for the best all the best
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