LuvHurts43 Posted December 4, 2005 Posted December 4, 2005 Hello, I just joined this site. I'm 24 and my boyfriend is 29. We've been dating for about 4 weeks. My friend introduced us, and for a while things were going great. My friend (who's a girl) is his long time (10 years) good friend. He's currently living with her temporary. At first everything was cool, but as soon as he told me that he used to like her, i find myself questioning a lot of things. Of course i asked her why she didn't give him a chance and so on. She told me she prefer him as a friend. I'm wondering if he sill have feelings for her. They drink a lot, and from what I've heard when they are in the house alone together, they get drunk and wanna dance together. Now, I don't know what type of dancing goes on, but I don't like the sound of that. Now that they are living together, I'm afraid they might get drunk one day and sleep together, or she might catch feelings for him and he'll decide to be with her. I mean they have been friends for a long time. Other times, I feel like we are threes company. She's in our business, and wanna do things with us. Sometimes, I just wanna call it quits, so i can avoid getting hurt. I'm feeling so insecure with this relationship, but I like him. What would you guys do? I also wanna hear from the men...
westernxer Posted December 4, 2005 Posted December 4, 2005 I'm wondering if he sill have feelings for her. I'm sure he does.
Author LuvHurts43 Posted December 4, 2005 Author Posted December 4, 2005 okay, maybe he do, but can i get some real advice. I told him i want to talk to him, and before i make a mistake, i like to get some input.
westernxer Posted December 4, 2005 Posted December 4, 2005 Bottom line is, why would you put up with it?
Author LuvHurts43 Posted December 4, 2005 Author Posted December 4, 2005 Ummm... well, maybe I'm making it sound really bad. I asked that question before, and he told me he don't like her anymore, and he wants us to work out. It's just that I can't shake the feelings that I have. I don't know if it's my intuition or just insecurity.
westernxer Posted December 4, 2005 Posted December 4, 2005 Why is he living with her, even if it's just temporary?
Author LuvHurts43 Posted December 4, 2005 Author Posted December 4, 2005 Well right now, he don't have anywhere else to stay since he lost his place. I'm not sure if he has male friends with apartments... I never asked. I don't have my own place either since I'm currently in school and living on campus.
curiousnycgirl Posted December 4, 2005 Posted December 4, 2005 The cornerstone to any good relationship is trust, so either you will have to learn to trust him, or the relationship will not last. The truth is after only 4 weeks it is too soon to be able to truly know someone and trust them. I would be a bit leery, but see where it goes. Do not put your full heart into it yet - again too soon at 4 weeks, you should still just be sort of casual and in the romantic stage. Since you've already told him you want to talk, you will have to have some type of conversation - why not ask his plans for his living situation? You could even tell him that you are not sure how you feel about his living with her - but I would NOT go any further than that. They have been friends for 10 years and have never gone further - there is no reason to think they will go further now. It's sort of like hooking up with your brother - ICK. You need to take a chill pill here and just enjoy the beginning stages of a new relationship. In time you will come to see if this is right for you.
Author LuvHurts43 Posted December 5, 2005 Author Posted December 5, 2005 I decided not to tell him yet.
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