Better Off To Let Husband Cheat So He Could Get It Off His Chest???

[dontwanttoloosehim]

my so called "husband" says the marrige is over. If you read my other posts ull see that we eloped my parents refused him and they live over seas and I am not welcome back with no "consequences" have no money no college degree dropped out cause my parents cut me finacially. So i deticated my life to this man. Ups and downs happened one day he got fed up and said :-

I am out of this

I am moving on dont be surprised if i see other people

You are not my wife

Maybe ill chnage my mind in the future

all them hurtful words

They only reason i stay in the same apartment diffrent room-- is because he cares for me and does not want me out int he streets alone he wants me to go back to my family hess crazyyyyy thell kill me! ( middle eastern f.y.i conservative and yet i managed to elope.....)

He said he noticed a chnage in me but i cant stop asking him 24/7 if he would give me a second chnace he feels he got not respect for me and he said it is possible for him to regain his feelings if he sees its worth it. My parents not accpeting him is a big part in this as well.

Tonight he took a nice long shower groomed and went out.

He is a man I know he has another women in mind he does not want sex from me at alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll. Although I tried to attract him all he would do is look witha smile on his face.

 

SO am I better off letting him do his thing and cheat etc etc And I on the other hand just be really niceeeee and not ask him questions and be happy all the time?

MEN WILL THAT HELP? Anyone?

[Sami_D]

Hello. I read your thread in the other forum. It caught my eye because of the title ~ I am actually still sharing a house with my ex, and it works very well. But that's because we're great friends and both have new partners. There's no intention of ever getting back together.

 

When I read about your H, I didn't like anything I heard. He's treating you really badly ~ like a piece of dirt on his shoe. And he tells you that you're lucky with that?? And there's something to do with his sticking around so he can get/keep a visa?

 

My question is, why do you want to keep him?

[newbby]

hello,

i just read this and i agree with sami, your husband does not sound very nice. so is there any way you can keep your visa stay married to him but try and create an independent life away from him aswell. he knows that you need him and are dependent on him and he has lost respect for you, well you are stuck in a very difficult position because you ARE dependent on him. it is unfair. try to build up a career of some kind. say to him, ok we will live seperate lives, you do what you want, but i need to build up some independence, as you know i cannot go back to my family. i know it will be hard. i dont really know much about the visa, what would happen in the event of a divorce?

[michaelk]

SO am I better off letting him do his thing and cheat etc etc And I on the other hand just be really niceeeee and not ask him questions and be happy all the time?

MEN WILL THAT HELP? Anyone?

 

What do you mean by 'help'? If you're hoping to be nice and let him have his affairs so that he will someday treat you like a wife again, I think not. It's clear his feelings are gone, or he wouldn't treat you this way. But it also sounds like acting hurt, angry or demanding won't help either. He has pretty clearly made up his mind that he's moving on to other women in his life. And you risk losing his support, which you need right now.

 

You should let him do what he's going to do anyway while you work to become independent of him (education, job, immigration status, etc.). Since he brought you over here, he owes you more than a plane ticket back home to parents who've disowned you. And once you no longer need him, then you can tell him off anyway you'd like.