caring guy Posted December 3, 2005 Posted December 3, 2005 Ok, i've talked about this before on other parts of the forum, but i need to speak! I'm so upset, i love my fiance who split with me because she can't be with someone with anxiety/depression issues, this reared it's head last month into our 18 month relationship. She's at Uni & has kids & understandably doesn't need it in her life! I can't help it, this what gets me, we always say we love each other! I've probably annoyed her with my texts & emails & this is only because i am so upset. I know she feels i can't be there for her in her times of need, but i'm from a family that don't leave it's loved ones in time of need. I would never leave her unless it was so bad it's untrue, but how has she found it so easy to leave me! Take off that ring that we commited with. My anxiety made me flee the situations of stress that is synonymous with the illness, this i need to handle. She called me pathetic & immature by my handling of the situation & now i want to prove to her i can, she won't answer me! Should i leave her alone?, is this a N/C situation, i've tryed to remind her of times we had of great happiness, things in common etc! & no reply! Why is it some people can end relationships just like that, when some take it so serious! We always said that we would never split because we always talk things over & end up in a hugg! Maybe just leaving her be, wil make her come to me, somehow i doubt it as she's far more experienced in the relationship situation than me! What should i do, please!
CoolAunt Posted December 3, 2005 Posted December 3, 2005 What should i do, please! The end of this relationship - a direct result of your anxiety and depression issues - should be your wake up call that it's time to talk to your doctor about your anxiety and depression issues. I suffered with anxiety and depression from childhood through my mid30s before seeking help. Between the meds and several years of talk therapy, I feel happy (or at least content) and have the anxiety under control, too. My only regret is that I didn't seek help sooner.
JaneInVegas Posted December 4, 2005 Posted December 4, 2005 I completely agree with CoolAunt ... your symptoms need addressed. I am in a somewhat similar situation, both my boyfriend and I suffer from depression. I take meds daily, he refuses to see a doctor. It's a very 'interesting' mix. It's been my personal experience that those who have no knowledge about depression and the accompanying issues, tend to be judgmental and want to distance themselves away from it. If this is really a tender issue with your fiance, you need to get her educated, and you medicated. Otherwise there is NO HOPE of you working it out. And by the way, I'm not suggesting 'no contact', however, if you feel you are overwhelming her with texts, phone calls, etc., maybe you should back off a little bit. Good luck to you ... I totally sympathize with your situation.
Author caring guy Posted December 5, 2005 Author Posted December 5, 2005 Thanks both of you I am taking meds & seeing a psychiatrist & community nurse. She tells me she has had depression when she had her child & couldn't do what i did & run away, she had to manage & sees me in similar ways, that i have to rise above it! I've had this on & off for several years & it tends to come on in bouts. I feel i have been contacting her by message a little too often, just because i'm so concerned i'll never see her again & there's so much i need to talk of with her! I'm telling her i need to handle it better, that i'm still the guy she loves & that i won't be the burden she thinks, but i get no replys at the moment. I just hope that out of the blue, i get that call. This is all making my anxiety feel worse. Thanks CG
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