We had a great time, NO sex, why am I cut off?????

[mememememe]

I am confused. Over a month ago I met a guy at a very upscale venue. He happens to be relatively famous. At first, I didn't know who he was and he tried approaching me/getting my attention a couple of times. As I was leaving, he made a beeline for the door and approached me. We had a rather cool conversation about things related to our common interests, (I don't want to include too much in here because I respect his privacy) and when I left the venue that night, I still didn't know "who" he was because I only got his first name and didn't recognize him off the bat. That part is irrevelant to my interest level, but I thought I would include it here to give the full picture...

 

The next day I got a text msg. from him that said, "what are you up to?". The night before, when I met him, he had asked me to dinner the following day which was a Sunday. At first, I didn't know it was him texting me because it was a new # and he didn't list his name, and I responded a couple of hours later saying, "going to bed...tired".

 

The NEXT day, he left me a voicemail reiterating who he was, how we met, and that he still wanted to take me to dinner. Mind you, I was interested since our very first conversation and still was. I called him back right away and told him that I was really busy -- he said to just call him when I got a chance to sort out my schedule. I don't think I was treating him any differently from anyone else -- I don't think it's right to treat someone different because they are famous, and I STILL didn't know who he was until I hung up the phone...and even then, I was just interested in HIM.

 

I sent him a text the next day suggesting a day to get together...and didn't hear from him for another day, so I decided to call him and ask if he could or couldn't get together the day I suggested...and he said he didn't know and he'd get back to me. He was very, very nice, giving me his entire schedule for that day and week. I didn't hear from him all week and decided I'd make one last effort since he was so persistent in pursuing me at first. I left him a voicemail and he called the next day. We finally playing phone tag and spoke on the phone for almost 2 HOURS. Just talking, person to person. we finally caught up a couple of days later when our schedules were more calm, and we went out for ONE drink. We walked and chatted for over 3 hours when both of us were busy and had to get up early. I felt an extremely intense and mutual connection -- that he commented on REPEATEDLY throughout our meeting together, and he walked me to my car. He asked me when he could see me again, more than once. He said a week was too long. I smiled, we said goodnight and I couldn't wait to hear from him. In the past, I have made the mistake of chasing men and I didn't want to do it again. At this point, I obviously knew who he was and he knew who I was based on our conversation, but that SH.T doesn't matter to me -- BENEATH matters to me, and I know he felt me on that. We really connected and I wasn't the one commenting on it.

 

SO, I couldn't wait to hear from him........and I never heard again. I finally sent him a quick email a week and a half later, a very neutral and cordial email asking how he was. Nothing. I sent him a text a week later to say hi and wish him well......nothing.

 

What could have happened? My guess is this; 1) I was not accessible enough (we live an hour apart) 2) He is just too busy to invest in me and he can tell I'm not just a quick lay or cheap date 3) he met someone else around the time he met me and it is more convenient.

 

Regardless of the above, I'm hurt he didn't at least RESPOND...that tells me somehow he heard or thought something...however i don't know what, i'm barely in his "scene", i hang out at some of the same places, but i am by no means damaged goods and don't have a reputation (obviously i'm not famous enough!!!!!).

 

HELP>????? i can maybe fill in more blanks for you to help me out on this one?? it's probably simple: "HE JUST CHANGED HIS MIND". ha.

[Luvinit]

Well, if he is as famous as you say he is, I would assume he is just 'busy'. If he digs you, then he will call, if not, well he will just disappear like any other person would.

 

Don't stress either way

[Enygmatic]

Well, guys as well as women like to feel wanted. It seems to me that he tought you were playing "hard to get". I'm not saying that girls should be after the guy they like all the time but a little bit of interest wouldn't hurt. He might have though that you used to call him after a week or two of not knowing from him just because you wanted to check if he was still interested so you can feel wanted or maybe because he wasn't your first choice. Put yourself in his position. Even if I'm a really busy person, If I really like someone then I try to save at least 30 seconds of my time to at least say "hi how are you"

[mememememe]

I guess I just don't know how to chase guys I think I may REALLY like. He was one of them. Also, with a guy like him, it's hard to know at what point he may feel stalked. So, I just treated him like every other guy.

 

However, that doesn't explain why after a great date I never heard from him again....unless he was putting the ball in MY court to call him and let him know when I would be in HIS area...we only hung out in his area of living, not mine. Perhaps he figured that he doesn't know my schedule and it was up to me to let him know when I was in town?

 

My overall thought process is, though, it was HIS call to ring me up after our great date. He said what a great time we had and then he didn't even follow up with a "hello" call. This guy is 30++, if he pursued me so strongly, he couldhave followed up a strong date with a simple phone call.

 

I figure he really didn't have time to chase any woman. he gets flooded with attention from women, models/actresses constantly, and maybe since I wasn't rigning him constantly he wanted that attention. too bad.

[westernxer]

I'm trying to figure out who this guy is.

 

Let me guess... Tom Arnold.

[MakeMeBeautiful]

I have long since learn to stop obsessing over the reasons why a guy doesn't call. It could be a number of things. Maybe he got hit on the head and loss his memory. Maybe he got abducted by aliens. Maybe he just didn't feel a connection. I've been on several first dates where everything appeared to be going fine and I know for sure that he wants to see me again...and still nothing. I think guys are more inclined to go with his superficial feelings. If something isn't right he will not call. Girls are more willing to accept the fact that men are not perfect so when they meet a guy and do not feel an instant connection they are still willing to go out with the guy again just because they see potential. I am that way. If I connect with a guy on a certain level I will give him the benefit of the doubt that he was probably nervous on the first date and will go out with him again. However if there was no connection at all I will tell him thanks but no thanks. Below is a link to a long discussion about why guys don't call. There are some pretty good comments. I've read them all and in the end I came to my own conclusion. There is no mathematical formula. He doesn't call because he doesn't like you enough.

 

 

http://con.ca/issues/3/15

[Outcast]

MMB, I think you've got it spot on but I'm not so impressed by the article. She uses her experience with one guy to generalize to all other men.

 

However, it just makes sense that if he's thinking about talking to you and you call him, then he doesn't need to call you. Mission accomplished; he's spoken to you. So of course if he wants to talk to you and you don't call, he will. It's not like it's magic or anything.

 

In the case of the famous guy, it could be anything. Including the possibility that he was feeding you a whole batch of lines and that's his modus operandi.

[CoolAunt]

It could be a number of things. Maybe he got hit on the head and loss his memory. Maybe he got abducted by aliens. Maybe he just didn't feel a connection. I've been on several first dates where everything appeared to be going fine and I know for sure that he wants to see me again...and still nothing. http://con.ca/issues/3/15

That's so true. Only he knows why he didn't call again. Don't assume that he's rejected you. He could just be flaky and unreliable, in which case it's just as well that you haven't heard from him.

 

You had a good time on your one date. Just remember that and be glad that you've found out so quickly that you aren't a good match, whether that's the reason that he hasn't called or because he hasn't called.

 

PS: Since he hasn't called since your date, aren't you glad that you didn't sleep with him? Imagine how much stronger you'd be feeling rejected and negative about yourself now if you had.

[scobro]

m trying to figure out who this guy is.

 

Let me guess... Tom Arnold.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA TOM ARNOLD!!!

 

NAH its ARSINIO HALL.............HEHEHEHEHE

[scobro]

Who Is It Im Dying To Know Now ??????????????????????????????????????????????

[scobro]

One Of The Baldwin Brothers?????

[Fun2BMe]

had to cancel my post!

[fundamental]

Who Is It Im Dying To Know Now ??????????????????????????????????????????????

 

 

Me too.... I guess we may never know... but it can't stop us from guessing.... hmmmmm Brad Pitt???

[westernxer]

One Of The Baldwin Brothers?????

 

That's a good one.

[slubberdegullion]

Kermit the Frog?

[Fun2BMe]

I decided to cancel my post because I dropped a name of a famous person I dated. My point was that we had a huge connection, chemistry and a great time. He mentioned many times that he wanted to see me again, telling me who we would meet and what we would do on our next date.

 

Even though we had sex and you didn't, the point is that he never contacted me again and I was shocked. He was charming on the outside, but maybe full of BS on the inside.

 

I could think of a bunch of excuses for him but it will only serve to make me feel better and might not be the truth of the matter. Only he knows why he never contacted me again and the obvious reason could be that he wasn't interested enough even though he convincingly appeared to be.

 

If we hadn't slept together, I could wonder if that was what he was interested in. We did sleep together and that gets ruled out, so it's just making up excuses in your head, nobody has the answer but him. I mean we're all busy but if you're into someone you make the time and effort to be with them and can battle any obstacles even if it's a 45 minute drive like in your situation. That's not that far.

[mememememe]

It could be a NUMBER of things, this was over a month ago and I didn't even think about it till i started reading other people's stories on here...just thought i'd vent about it for what it's worth to me...

 

i would never sleep with anyone, let alone someone i had to be more discerning with, after a date or two or even three; just not my style, at all. therefore i've never had to worry that that was the reason a guy didn't call me. i don't think you ever get anywhere by doing that.

 

a guy before him, who was also equally as well-known, once chased me down the street in LA. again, i was upfront with him and treated him like anyone i just met. he flew out to see me, on a holiday mind you, and this was after i told him i was not in a position to date or sleep with anyone. those were my exact words as this guy is a huge hearthrob used to getting maaannnny a ladies.

 

so, he takes me out, entourage and paparrazi and all, and the whole time he is focused on his image. i wasn't buying into, though i didn't want to judge him so i wasn't totally turned off by him. there was obviously a huge attraction, but i am really into my mind and soul and have never acted impulsively on that. anyway, i call it a night, get my own cab home, and he asks me to hang the next day. i called him the next day late afternoon and could tell he was upset i hadn't called earlier. when we finally met up that night, he proceeds to tell me that he was "watching me" earlier that day when he saw me out, only i didn't see him. according to him, he said to me, "you know too many people.....i saw you and i was like, whatever". HA! I know too many people????

 

Anyway, the truth of the matter was that this guy was used to getting his ego stroked 24-7 and couldn't handle me treating him like a special guy, but still a REGULAR human. now i don't know if that situation is the same with this most recent guy, but both guys i didn't sleep with or anything, and both times i only made it to 1.5 dates. bruised ego?? i think that some people in teh public eye have a really difficult time being confident when they fear that the smoke and mirror won't protect them.....

 

however the guy i wrote the post about really seemed different, and i have met a ton of people in showbiz. i think he just changed his mind, met someone else and decided i wasn't a strong enough choice....and he is probably miffed that i didn't take the initiative and call HIM instead of him calling ME.

 

and, yes, it WAS tom arnold!!! haha

[scobro]

yes, it WAS tom arnold!!! haha

 

Tom Arnold!!!HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH:lmao: