phrekmon Posted December 3, 2005 Share Posted December 3, 2005 If you dont know whats goin on please read my first thread http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t75470/ Anyways Ive been doing O.K. but today my wife calls me early this morning and asks when her portion of the phone bill was due (3 phones on 1 plan) I rel her and remind her that she needs to give me at least a day notice when she is going to get the rest of her stuff, and that I wanted the other key as she shouldnt be here without me, long story short I cant go to her new place if she's not there.O.K. she'll call me. Next I'm spreading lies around town about her (whenever someone asks me how she's doing I say "I don't know she left me 2 weeks ago") and leave it at that. (this is a small Island where everybody knows your name) so all know whats going on. I told her I couldnt believe after 12 years how cold and distant she'd become,how it was so easy for her to lie to me, she said well there nothing left to lie about now. Anyway we argue a bit over stupid stuff and she says she'll call me when she's coming over. I had ran out of sleeping pills and called the Dr. he changed my scrip (they put me to sleep but I'm up after 1-2 hours) and it would be ready this afternoon. I went to pick them up and on the way back who do I see going the other way ?? YEP THE OM DRIVING MY CAR !!!!!#$^%#$%^#$% (My car that i built, custom body work, new everything 73 vw turns 11 sec. if you into it) I'm still pretty cool "in my head" now I'm just trying to get to the end of the workday. Phone rings guess who ? the wife telling me that she had already picked up most of her stuff from the house and she would call me when she was gonna get the rest. My head is ready to explode, I call her a F****ing liar and hang up, she never called back. I've left messages at a couple of lawyers offices, its late so it will have to be Monday. It's like its the damn begining all over again, I feel like dogdoo, I'm just waiting for her to turn of the cable, internet and phone (the only things in her name) All this from a loving wife who gave me 2 cards 40 days ago saying how much she loved me, how sorry she was for carring on with the OM on the phone and how she would NEVER leave me !!! I believed it ! It was all a big lie ! I helped her move out ! my sweat ! I've given her money ! I am f***ing furious ! I know that my future without her will be so much better that it was with her, and I really can't wait. But the betrayal and deceit and hurt is unbelievabe for me to comprehend right now. "I was married to this woman for 10 years !!!!" Does anyone have any suggestions as to my next move ? this just keeps getting better ! Thanks for listening, Dennis Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted December 5, 2005 Share Posted December 5, 2005 OMG. Get that f'ing car from her right now. This is ridiculous. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phrekmon Posted December 5, 2005 Author Share Posted December 5, 2005 How do I do that ? it's titled in both of our names ? I mean dont get me wrong I can go and get it but what after that ? Dennis Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted December 5, 2005 Share Posted December 5, 2005 I know a guy that went through a bitter divorce. He allowed his anger anger/jealousy to consume him to the point he almost ended up in jail. He went through one year of PURE HELL. He had brain cancer when he was married...almost died...was on disability, got a huge disability check from the gov, wife seemed supportive, gov. built him a brand new beautiful home with the money from the grant, house payments were low enough for him to live comfortable, brand new appliances, brand new EVERYTHING! The rest of his money he got from disability went towards a brand new vehicle. So...they just sign the papers to the house...moved in...two weeks later on their anniversary...she told him while out to dinner...that she has been seeing another man for roughly 6 months and that she wants a divorce. Well, this OM was my fiance at the time. I had no clue either. So...he gets escorted out a day later by the police...moves into a one br apt. They get divorced... he loses EVERYTHING to her because she got the kids. Had to sell all his tools and other belongings to live. Talk about a jagged pill to swallow! So, the OM moves into the house a few months later...starts remodelling..building rooms for his kids...and what not. This x-husband has to live his life knowing that those a**h***s are living it up on easy street! The OM makes oogle bucks, and well...you get the picture. He let the anger consume him to the point where he was just a shell of a man. He was having health problems on top of his health problems. No happiness in his life whatsoever. Who could blame him. He couldn't even work to build his life back up. Times when he would meet at their designated pickup spot for the kids, when no one was lookin', the OM...as he drives away...just laughs at the x-husband. Then, the OM would drive away in their brand new vehicle...with his x-wife...and kids. This x-husband tried every trick in the book to get 'even' with those two. I mean, he did & tried EVERYTHING! He was obsessed beyond obsession. I was witness, because I was his partner in crime. He almost landed himself in jail for kicking the OM ass. But, nothing good ever came of his crusade...nothing. So, out of pure exhaustion and frustration...he let it all go. He learned to let fate deal with those two sociopaths. It's been a 3 years now, and I am here to say, FATE won, my friend. Now, years later, after the pain passed with time, the x-husband is very happy...he just got re-married to a wonderful lady...his x-wife gave up custody of their kids to him because her life is soo unstable to have them around. He bought a farm house and between his new wife's kids and his kids...they are just one big happy family!! It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. Those other two? Well, they moved out of state...they were run out of town 'cause of too many debts...abandonded the house which the both of them are currently being sued for...and can only live in one house for roughly 3 mo...before the creditors catch up to them. Pitty...sad, sad life. Oh, yea...did I also mention that the OM has already been cheated on by another OM? My point is after all this explaining...is even though it feels like you are getting %$^# with the bad end of the stick...just give it some time....let fate work it's magic. Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted December 5, 2005 Share Posted December 5, 2005 I'd hide it somewhere until the divorce. I'd be damned if I'd let him drive my car I worked on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phrekmon Posted December 6, 2005 Author Share Posted December 6, 2005 I had thought of stealing it back BUT it is worth a good bit, I think my state is no fault divorce so shes gonna end up with half of everything anyways (including the bills) and I aint got squat left anyways, this is such a blessing in disguise, I ruined my life with her, filed bancrupcy 2 times in 12 years, got at least 25k in debt, owe taxes back to 2000. This just isnt ME !!!! I was going through our stuff (papers and what) and found bills,collection notices,extended credit unopened on stuff I didnt even know existed !!! I can straighten myself out !! I must have had blinders on all that time, I dont know ? I have no excuses I am really glad that its over (the marriage) I think she will try and make my life a living hell and alls I can say is give it your best shot. Thanks for listening, Dennis Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 Is your state no fault?? She's cheating. She's probably ready to get the divorce over as quick as possible. Use that as a bargaining chip. Agree to settle quicker if you can keep the car. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phrekmon Posted December 6, 2005 Author Share Posted December 6, 2005 Yes, I did find out this is a no fault state, she did ask me yesterday if I was going to contest the divorce, I asked her whats to contest ? She then told me how to go to the courthouse what papers to pick up and it only cost 175.00 and it only takes 2-3 weeks ? She's ready for this but wih the amount debt, I think a lawyer and courts should figure this one out, and yes I have found no less than 4 accounts that I have no idea what they are (I will soon) totaling over 5k. Mz Pixie, my stepdaughter has more health insurance that is paid for by her biological Dad, it was part of her divorce with him. I would never leave her with no health insurance, but my wife is a different story, she planned this whole leaving me thing (does have heath care plan at her job) she should have planned better. Anyways thanks for all your imput, Dennis Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 That's good on the insurance. You didn't say that earlier. I would try to drag it out a bit. If she wants a divorce bad enough she will agree to letting you have the car and taking the majority of the debt or at least half of it. You can make it real hell on her. Supoena bank records etc. I do not think you're in any frame of mind to be making those decisions right now, which is what she's counting on. If you weren't smart about the marriage, be smart about this. How is the weather today in HAWAII?? I would lOVE to visit there! Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted December 6, 2005 Share Posted December 6, 2005 Just concentrate on getting your life back together by taking the blinders off and getting back to the *real* you! You get the house, no custody battle, and no childsupport. At least you won't have to start your life from scratch. That's a blessing. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted December 7, 2005 Share Posted December 7, 2005 I would try to drag it out a bit. If she wants a divorce bad enough she will agree to letting you have the car and taking the majority of the debt or at least half of it. Excellent advice Mz. Pixie. Phrekmon, You are holding all the cards here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author phrekmon Posted December 7, 2005 Author Share Posted December 7, 2005 I'm posting all over again sorry my mind is reeling again. Mz. Pixie, The weather here is always 69-90 all year, very rare when you can't find a sunny beach somewhere on the island any day, so it really is paradise in that sense but a living hell on my spirit right now. Luvoto, I don't get any house, I get to move into a studio apartment and pay off the last 13 years of my life, dont get me wrong I'm not to bitter about it but I did f**k up pretty good. See my new post "Wife's life falling apart in paradise Help !" it's the newest saga of my screwed up life (AND I HATE DRAMA) thanks for listening, Dennis Link to post Share on other sites
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