Argentina Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 Was not sure which forum to post on but this is fairly relevant. I have been having a casual relationship with an ex fiance from 7 years ago. We have been friends for almost 20 years. This relationship has only been sexual for the last 3 months and for half of that time I have still been living with my husband. However, my husband and I have now separated. This has been at my request and after several years of being physically and verbally abused by him. So, basically my ex-fiance was the Other Man, but now is the Only Man. He has made it clear to me that he is not looking for any committment and I am quite happy with that arrangement and have told him so. Problem is he runs hot and cold. Twice now he has said he can't go on doing this and we have to stop. Not because of me, but because of him. He seems to have some guilt, feels selfish at times. He is a really deep thinker, analyses everything about himself. At other times, he is really cool about everything, enjoys our time together and we have good fun. Because of the depth of our friendship and the history we have together there is a great deal of respect for each other and we are always honest about how we are feeling. Quite frankly, if this was just some bloke I'd recently met and he couldn't make up his mind, I'd just move on and forget about it. But this situation is tricky because we both value our friendship and don't want to lose it, yet every couple of weeks or so we end up in bed together. And yes...it is worth it! Sorry guys, but I am sure this bloke invented foreplay! I would have thought this would be a guys ideal situation but he seems to keep having emotional issues over it. He doesn't exactly explain what these emotional issues are. not sure he even knows himself. Each time he goes through one of these stages, I am gracious and supportive and tell him he has to do what is right for him. I don't want to lose his friendship. I just wondered if anyone else has had a similar circumstance. How do we continue to be friends and never end up sleeping with each other again? Or is that just impossible?
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