Concubine Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 I'm trying to find someone to talk to who is a "kept" women herself. This is because I'm a kept mistress & I want to find others just like me. I need someone to relate to. Please help....
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 how do u mean? It means he supports her financially and buys her stuff, but she has to reserve herself only for him - even though he will remain married and possibly have OOW.
goingforgold Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 LucreziaBorgia - Thanks for the explanation.
Author Concubine Posted December 1, 2005 Author Posted December 1, 2005 That explanation is SO precise!!! (thanx, hun)... with that said... is anyone else living under those "arrangements"????
erika2610 Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 no, but i wish i was sometimes Oh no you don't.. I've never been one, so I can't speak with experience. But no no no you don't. Didn't you learn with your first MM?
Author Concubine Posted December 1, 2005 Author Posted December 1, 2005 no, but i wish i was sometimes LMAO U're too funny, gurl. I used to dream of an opportunity like this for a very long time till my dream finally came thru! yay... it was a fantasy... i never thought it could happen to me...
erika2610 Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 well he never bought me a thing! Neither did mine.. men suck
erika2610 Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 LMAO U're too funny, gurl. I used to dream of an opportunity like this for a very long time till my dream finally came thru! yay... it was a fantasy... i never thought it could happen to me... So this was like a lifelong goal for you? You make it sound like a fairy tale.. 'it was a fantasy I never thought could happen to me..' Geez..
beachrosie Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 That to me gives me terrible feelings of being "trapped". I'm happy for you, but wow, I can't imagine ever having to be so dependant on someone for finances. It reminds me of a caged bird. I just have been an avocate for women to be strong, beautiful and wealthy by their own means and brains. Sometimes, like men, we (women) make mistakes, but not purchased. I'd rather be the one purchasing.
Hot Coco Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 Beach...well said. Personally, I'd feel like a prostitute if I were ever in that situation. (But that's just me.) Good luck finding someone to talk to who's in your shoes Concubine. I doubt there are many out there or at least many who will admit to being in such an arrangement.
JayKay Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 Sorry concubine...I'm not in your situation although I had an 'offer' one time. My sister, who worked as a massage therapist for a few years, also had an 'offer' to be 'kept' I guess at first it's like a fantasy.....'cuz you can quit your job and get stuff for free handed to you. Ultimately though, it's a trap. And you have NO power. Ultimately, the MM can decide to 'fire' you at any time if you're not living up to his expectations. It's the kind of relationship that infantilizes women. For whatever it's worth, I'd get yourself into a more independant type of situation.
newbby Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 i agree. i would use it as a stepping stone only, from a desperate situation to a good one. it sounds good, but i would hate to feel obligated to somebody. do you feel like that concubine? how long have you been the kept woman? what makes you want to seek others in the situation? do you feel lonely? sorry for all the questions, i am just really interested.
Hot Coco Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 You're right JayKay. Nothing in life is free. You pay a heavy price for that kind of arrangement. A very heavy price. You're basically selling yourself. It's as if he owns you now.
sunflower1008 Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 Yeah, not our style, right Hot Coco?? LOL Hope things are going well for you...write when you can!
fanou22 Posted December 2, 2005 Posted December 2, 2005 I want to know more about the life of a kept woman. What do you do all day? How often do you see your MM? Do you have freinds you can hang out with? What is their opinion about your situation? How much does he support youn financially? How long do you think the arrangement will last?
Author Concubine Posted December 2, 2005 Author Posted December 2, 2005 Sorry concubine...I'm not in your situation although I had an 'offer' one time. My sister, who worked as a massage therapist for a few years, also had an 'offer' to be 'kept' I guess at first it's like a fantasy.....'cuz you can quit your job and get stuff for free handed to you. Ultimately though, it's a trap. And you have NO power. Ultimately, the MM can decide to 'fire' you at any time if you're not living up to his expectations. It's the kind of relationship that infantilizes women. For whatever it's worth, I'd get yourself into a more independant type of situation. Yea, I agree!!!... I've been preparing myself for the worst... I'm always SO scared of the day he'll "fire" me! But i know that all good things must come to an end. Sucks! Thus, for next year, I'm trying my best to go back to school & complete my education so that atleast when he leaves, I'll have a "real job". Oh, forgot to mention that before this, i was working as an exotic dancer. Was SO sick of "ass-hole" men... & how disgusting they can get(eeeww)... all that "dick-grinding" and "hustle & flow" just was making me hate my job so much. It was in a situation where I couldn't find another job that would pay as good as dancing. I couldn't lower my lifestyle... thus, i was stuck. And being a kept woman was the next option. Trust me, that's a deal many dancers dream of... but it's hard to find! Really need to get my ass back in school! I didn't wanna have to be dancing till I'm forty years old... coz that's embarrasing...
Hot Coco Posted December 2, 2005 Posted December 2, 2005 Honey, your lifestyle is about as low it can go. Material things don't define your lifestyle. Go back to school and take some pride in yourself. You're better than this, I'm sure.
JayKay Posted December 2, 2005 Posted December 2, 2005 I know a lot of people look down on strippers, but for some....it's the fastest way to make cash and move up in the world. I don't think it's morally reprehensible to dance naked. I mean, we look at bare butts and boobies in Vogue and pretend they're 'art', don't we? What IS sad is when strippers blow all their cash on stupid stuff....like Coach bags and Manolo Blahniks...instead of investing in a future. Yes, school or real estate are two excellent ways to invest so you're not some pathetic 40-year-old cocktail waitress still trying to shake your ass into some money. So if you're currently being 'kept', Concubine....do start hoarding everything and anything you are given. Jewelry can be sold later. Extra cash should be banked. Name brand items can be hawked on Ebay. I may sound cold, but you really do need to prepare for the 'end' and be ready to strike out on your own. Can you go to school while being 'kept'? Some keepers of women don't like them going to school because it means they'll be financially independent some day.
brubaker2004 Posted December 2, 2005 Posted December 2, 2005 good point about being "fired at any time". concubine, do you have any type of agreement with this man about your well-being if he decides to end things? i just don't see how there is any security for you.....
Sami_D Posted December 2, 2005 Posted December 2, 2005 (beware random musing ahead...) Kept mistress vs. wife... I'm wondering about who is in the 'better' position. Who is the one with more 'freedom' and 'independence', etc. As a kept mistress, are you 'allowed' to see other people? I would imagine not, since if you are seeing others (and presumably can get 'presents' from them too), then you're more High Class Prostitute than Mistress. But then... where is the distinction..? And why would you have to tell the truth? If you're married to a man you can have many more financial benefits (share of pension and property, etc.)... Hmmm now I'm thinking that this is perhaps comparing stay-at-home W vs. Mistress. If a W is financially OK herself from having a career, her own property perhaps, etc... then it becomes a different scenario. Well that's clear, then. lol.
newbby Posted December 2, 2005 Posted December 2, 2005 concubine, i'm sure the dancing must have got very tiresome. i hope you are happier now, but yes definetly make sure you are planning for your future now. can you go to school? does he dictate that much to you, whether you are allowed to go to school or not?
Author Concubine Posted December 2, 2005 Author Posted December 2, 2005 I know a lot of people look down on strippers, but for some....it's the fastest way to make cash and move up in the world. I don't think it's morally reprehensible to dance naked. I mean, we look at bare butts and boobies in Vogue and pretend they're 'art', don't we? What IS sad is when strippers blow all their cash on stupid stuff....like Coach bags and Manolo Blahniks...instead of investing in a future. Yes, school or real estate are two excellent ways to invest so you're not some pathetic 40-year-old cocktail waitress still trying to shake your ass into some money. So if you're currently being 'kept', Concubine....do start hoarding everything and anything you are given. Jewelry can be sold later. Extra cash should be banked. Name brand items can be hawked on Ebay. I may sound cold, but you really do need to prepare for the 'end' and be ready to strike out on your own. Can you go to school while being 'kept'? Some keepers of women don't like them going to school because it means they'll be financially independent some day. Yea, that's what i've been thinking too... trying to get as much as i can while it last! Pimping ain't easy but it's necessary...LOL just joking. But yea, he's actually encouraged me to go back to school. So I'm planning on doing that as soon as I move back to LA-LA land. He's actually really nice. I know he gave both of his ex-girlfriends(kept women) a life-time-interest on some property so that they'll always have somewhere to live. They're apparently also included in his will... which drives me crazy coz I'm not. (only been in this relationship for 8 mths now).
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