grace2005 Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 Me and my ex girlfriend got back together on November 11th. We haven't had any problems yet. We are now resuming a 2.5 year relationship. We have never had sexual intercourse beyond oral sex. I personally have no desire to sleep with her and I haven't had the real deal in 3 years. I can go another 3 years if necessary. My point is from time to time she says she gets sexually frustrated. We did have a little spat over thanksgiving weekend because I wanted to sleep on the couch instead of sleeping in her bed next to her but I let her talk me into sleeping with her and next thing you know we start fooling around as usual. The temptation is too strong once I'm in the bed with her. I even told her that if she wants to meet up with another guy just for sex since I refuse to go that far that I would support her. I am starting to harbor resentment at her for throwing the ultimatium line in my face over a year ago about me cutting myself. She told me I had to either give up the cutting or she would not continue dating me. I guess the reason I resent her is because I'm once again starting to feel the urge to cut myself. Why? Because I'm feeling guilty about something and cutting has usually been a way for me to atone for my guilt feelings. I don't know if I should just cut contact with her for a week without making an anouncement so I can have time alone to think. I feel like crawling in a hole and hiding from the world. Or should I request a break but not a break up? Ask her if we can take the relationship down to friendship for the time being?
Forever Searching Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 hmm. Are you the one that doesn't want sex in this relationship or am I wrong? I am also a cutter and I understand the frustration of having someone tell you that you either give it up or else. It always makes me want to do it out of spite. Thankfully I"m with someone now that understands it and doesn't put pressure on me about it and guess what? I haven't even had the urge to do it anymore. So, I guess what I'm getting at is this doesn't sound like a healthy relationship at all. I think you should set down together and bring you issues to the table and work on it. It sounds like a lack of understanding and communication on both ends.
slubberdegullion Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 I don't get this cutting stuff. What's so positive about self-mutilation? Seriously... I'm not trying to make fun here, but I'm completely at a loss as to why someone would intentionally carve themselves up. Care to enlighten me?
Forever Searching Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 Well cutting is a very complex problem. It can stem for many different reasons and everyone's situation is unique. I'm not saying I'm proud of it at all but I"m not ashamed of it either. I don't know how to add links yet but if you google self injury you can find a lot of articles about it. Most people don't understand it in fact I believe most people that do it don't even understand it or can explain it. At least that's true for me.
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