kgal Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 What do you do when someone you love tells you one day that they are just going to "disappear for a while?" This is what happened to me over 2 weeks ago. history: We met online over a year ago, he was 13 years older, divorced with kids. It didn't matter, cuz we fell in love.. I wanted him. We met recently (over the summer) and had a great time. However, we both were seperated again since we live in different states. Just last month, I bought a plane ticket.. I was going to fly to be closer to him. We would see one another more often (on weekends) and I was so happy! He told me how great it would be.. how I could stay at his place, use his car.. etc. and he would fly in to see me on the weekends. My family never liked the idea of the two of us. In fact, I dreaded that I would have to tell them that I made a decision to be closer to him. They hated when I would talk to him on the phone.. or online.. just anything that had to do with him. When I told my folks about the ticket.. my Mom just about had a breakdown. I saw how much it hurt her.. however, I am 25 and loved this man alot!! I wanted to be with him.. I would've done anything to be with him. It did hurt me to hurt my family though. I struggled about what to do. My ex was in the midst of all of this and finally told me that I should just "stay here, make my family happy" and that he was going to "disappear." I begged him not to just go.. I needed him.. I was hurting and I told him I wanted to know I had his support. I basically feel he left during one of the hardest times of my life. It's been 2 weeks.. some say I'm better off.. that he would've stayed if he truly loved me. He would've tried and did all he could to make it work.. including meeting or calling my folks.. to ease their minds about him. I just don't understand why all of this happened. I loved him for over a year.. and now I fear I've lost the man I love. I miss him.. but I have harbored alot of bitterness and anger for his abrupt abandonment. any advice? I need it. Thanks.
suegail Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 Maybe he did a very unselfish thing. He may be extremely sensitive to the idea of being the one who would come between you and your family, and he didn't feel he could live with the knowledge that he'd been the one to cause all that grief. Your family doesn't like him, they don't approve - he may have had a great fear of what that would do to your life. I don't think his decision means he doesn't care about you and he may even feel he does love you, but sometimes people do let go in spite of what they feel.
fatcat Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 Sounds Like A Flake....remember Most People Online Are Manic-depressants You Don Not Want To Be Involved With One Of These Losers
Author kgal Posted December 2, 2005 Author Posted December 2, 2005 Sounds Like A Flake....remember Most People Online Are Manic-depressants You Don Not Want To Be Involved With One Of These Losers LOL... Well I'm online, am I one too? Haha.. for some reason your post helps me, though. I do realize that I did nothing wrong in this relationship. I emailed my ex last night too.. just for closure. Why is it so hard to get over someone who treats you this way? Maybe my self-esteem needs a boost? Ugh.. But I do feel alot better coming here and getting support from family and friends.
Author kgal Posted December 2, 2005 Author Posted December 2, 2005 Maybe he did a very unselfish thing. He may be extremely sensitive to the idea of being the one who would come between you and your family, and he didn't feel he could live with the knowledge that he'd been the one to cause all that grief. Your family doesn't like him, they don't approve - he may have had a great fear of what that would do to your life. I don't think his decision means he doesn't care about you and he may even feel he does love you, but sometimes people do let go in spite of what they feel. Well I can understand him deciding to leave the relationship.. but he should've told me that. Instead, he just left our last conversation and didn't give me any sense of closure. I was devistated!! I told him in an email about how I felt and how I hope he didn't feel he was causing my parents and I to argue (even though my being with him did effect them)... I just want to make everything MAGICALLY BETTER and go back to how it used to be.. but thats not going to happen. Thanks for replying.
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