well right when you think you know everything, the world proves itself again...

[lonely4you]

Well, previously i talked about this guy i have a crush on and how Monday it seemed he felt completely the same way. I get a phone call yesterday from him saying he isnt sure about how he feels towards me; he said that once he gets involved with me he feels like he just wants to get out of it as soon as possible. He said he wants this to happen, but then he says things like i dont know much about you and that he doesnt know how to explain this feeling he gets once we get involved with each other. he said he doesnt want to break off or anything. I am just completely confused and upset. i completely blew him off today in a way; i could tell he knew i was upset, but i believe i have every right to be. I just dont know what to do anymore. its like one moment he feels like he likes me then next he isnt so sure. I dont even know how i should act, i just want to close up. i dont know how i feel anymore. What should I do?

[Forever Searching]

Just drop him completely. He's playing with your mind. If he's soooo confused then let him do it alone and move on. You deserve to be with somone that KNOWS they want you. There is no reason you have to settle for anything less I don't care how cute he is.... lol...

[Walk]

I don't think is a case of he's playing with you. In my opinion anyway. I think dropping him completely is a little absolute, but you may want to consider it.

 

I would suggest that instead of hiding in your shell, that you get up some courage and ask him to clarify. Be the bigger, stronger person in this situation. Yes it hurts for someone to say they don't know how they feel about you, but you have to control your emotions and be able to talk to him about it without getting defensive and upset. And questions based on how he is thinking, not framed on how you feel. ie. Is there something in his past that is influencing how he's thinking now? Is he feeling like he doesn't want a relationship, and if so why?

 

Problem is, you have to be able to ask these questions calmly and without your feelings coloring your actions and words. Not everyone's cut and dry about either falling for a person or not. I get scared every time, kind of a commitment phobia, which makes my feelings jump from wanting to be with that person to feeling like I'm making a mistake.

 

You have to be able to speak rationally to your guy, be more emotionally strong then you feel you can. Or you can get hurt and sabatoge any future relationship with this guy.

 

The flip side is, there are other men out there who would love to be with you, and won't play this game.

[lonely4you]

i haven’t had the chance or the opportunity to approach him. I told him about how i was upset about my sister, who was contemplating breaking up with her boyfriend and then, i said i dont even know what we are and he said i don’t know either. I guess i will try and call him tonight to talk to him about this. I think it is completely stupid that this has to be blown so much out of proportion. I don’t know how to act with him like a friend or more than a friend, does he think i am his girlfriend...i hope not. I think there has to be something about his mom, he talks about how he doesn’t get along with her but that is all he will tell me. i am at the point of telling him we should just be friends, even though that is not what i want. i don’t even know what he wants from me...this is the most complicating situation i have had the opportunity to be apart of. It hasn’t even begun and there is already a problem..i am running out of hopes.