Linda_411 Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 Alright my bf and I have been dating for 8 months, but all we do is argue. I usually start with all the arguments, because I'm upset with something he says or does.. But he gets all offensive, and blows it out of proportion. Now he has threatened to me that if I start another stupid fight, that that will be the end. This is my first bf, and I don't know what to do. Am I wasting my time, or do I have the right to voice my emotions(feeling upset) over something? And If I should let him go, or give him another chance?
SmoochieFace Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 Do you enjoy arguing? Yeah, I'd probably get a little tired of being with someone who consistently has to argue. I would have to end the relationship. And here's the most obvious question of all: if he upsets you so much - it appears that he does - then why are you with him? Do you enjoy being upset as well?
Nur Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 Are you just picking petty fights, or are these valid things to be upset about? I don't blame him for being tired of arguing all the time -- it's wearying! If you have objection to such a large list of things about him, maybe you should consider your compatibility in the relationship. My boyfriend and I, for example, have only had two conflicts in five months, and both were brief and worked out without any losing of tempers. Think carefully about the results of constantly bringing up conflict before you do, especially if the matters are paltry.
Hot Coco Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 Also think about HOW you bring up any concerns. Do you whine or nag? Do you personally attack him? Or do you just bring up issues as a concern you have? Another thing to think about is the concept of "picking your battles." Do you voice EVERY annoyance you have about him? No one in a good relationship does that, you know. You have to pick what's important...the BIG stuff. The rest you have to learn to let go.
lilmoma1973 Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 My h don't like to argue and i don't either but it always turns into an argument because he gets his toes stepped on and doesn't like to confronted with things he don't want to deal with he thinks they will get better on their own !! I feel that communication is the key to a great realtionship and that is so lacking in my relationship!! i guess it all depends on how you say things to sometimes i say things i shouldn't to get some kind of arrousal so that he will communicate with me and i know this isn't right but sometimes the only way can communicate with him so i guess it all depends on how you approach the person !! im still learning
Hot Coco Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 I think it's kind of strange that your topic says "He hates arguments" and you have that frown next to it. Likes that's really a BAD thing. Think about it. Who LIKES arguments? This may be the key right there. The fact that any communication with him is an argument and not a discussion. See what I mean?
SuperMonk Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 I don't understand what's going on, can you tell us two examples of how the both of you argue? It could be your fault, his, or both depending on the arguing style. All I know when a woman starts going crazy and arguing is when she wants to "win" the argument, and when a man attempts to win he'll either try to go crazy too such as stonewalling, etc.
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