artistlover Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 I feel so weird. I look at porn and don’t know why. For some reason, I’ve been viewing it everyday in the last week. And I’m also upset b/c I can only orgasm when I think of my boyfriend getting off from other women—usually two girls—that are "gifts" from me --all in my head. What is wrong with me? i could never in real life and would just be crushed. i cried when he told me he fantasized about having two women--but then i go and imagine it. it hurts so much but gets me excited and i don't want it to. Also—I know he likes cute girls in short schoolgirl skirts and pigtails—and I’ve worn that. i want to but I don’t. I’m 31, not 17. I want to be the thing that gets him excited but I feel like I’m too fat (5’3”/130 lbs/34D) and old. i'm insecure and hurting and feel weird-very weird. what is going on?
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