La Chica Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 Okay, so we broke up on Thanksgiving (gobble, gobble.) I was pretty tipsy from wine and so therefore it was NOT the most ideal break-up but the feelings had been lurking around for awhile and the words just came out before I knew it. We had only been dating a couple of months, but it had been pretty hot and heavy from the start and we spent loads of time together. Basically I broke things off because he was taking things more seriously than I (and it freaked me out a bit) and he had a good deal of insecurities that were beginning to hinder our relationship (i.e. he would get pretty nervous when I would go out, in fear that I would meet someone else and fall in love.) But there were still A LOT of things that I liked about him and pretty much assumed we'd always be at least friends. But now he won't talk to me, return my calls and the one day I did get him on the phone he told me that he never can be friends with the people he dated. WTF??? Should I just let it go? I guess I hate having people be mad/upset with me so it's so hard to not try and resolve the problem. Also there is so much I like about him, it sucks to lose that as well. But is that the price I pay? Or is he just doing it for attention?
omegaRED Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 You`re... Seriously asking WTF? Girl, you broke his heart. Let him go. He wants something else from you. You don`t want that. But you do want him around. Imagine how hard it is for him. You`re being pretty selfish here. Know that most people cannot be friends with their exs. Unless the breakup was a mutual decision. You said it yourself, he was more serious about the relationship than you were. You can`t have your cake and eat it. There is a price to pay for everything we do. Suck it up, let him move on and heal, for his sake.
slubberdegullion Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 OmegaRed is right on with this one. YOU broke up with HIM. He's enforcing NC, which is the appropriate thing to do. Deal with it.
JayKay Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 Can't have your cake and eat it too. You hurt him, you disappointed him and you broke up with him on a holiday. Now you want him to be all nicey-nice and act like nothing happened? Obviously you've never had your feelings deeply hurt.... let him alone to do his thing. He may come around eventually but that's his decision.
SmoochieFace Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 Your XBF is exactly like me in this regard. He is doing the right thing. You dumped on him and he has cleaned himself up by breaking off all contact. Same thing I do in situations like this. As a previous poster said... you cannot have your cake and eat it too. Move on.
Yamaha Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 Would you be friends with a guy who you wanted a relationship with and he broke it off? He is doing what he needs to do to get over you. Let him be and find other friends.
westernxer Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 But now he won't talk to me, return my calls and the one day I did get him on the phone he told me that he never can be friends with the people he dated. That guy has got his shiit together. By the way, it's normal to be a little nervous when your girfriend goes out without you. He's not ignorant to the rules of attraction, but I think you're looking for something more casual, whereas he wants a serious relationship.
Author La Chica Posted November 30, 2005 Author Posted November 30, 2005 Wow. Okay. I guess this is just the first time that I had a guy be so blatant about cutting off all contact. I mean usually I do mantain some sort of semblance of friendship with the guys that I have dated, if only in theory. But what you say makes sense. I guess I just wanted the relationship on my terms, but as the saying goes, you can't always get what you want...
Mary3 Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 All the posters 100% correct. You dumped this poor guy and he is RIGHT to completely ignore you. Be your friend ? He has friends . He does not need a constant reminder that you dont want him anymore. I would do the same as he did.
lamento Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 I guess I just wanted the relationship on my terms, but as the saying goes, you can't always get what you want... ..no - you can't
gfto Posted December 6, 2005 Posted December 6, 2005 I think you're just confused because this has never happened to you before. Every other guy you dumped tried to change your mind and groveled like a worm. This guy just walked!! Good for him!! And, who said he's mad at you? He's probably just indifferent because he's already got a new girlfriend.
Author La Chica Posted December 6, 2005 Author Posted December 6, 2005 No he doesn't have a new girlfriend. In the end I just needed to give him his space and then finally we were able to have an all out honesty session. He told me how he felt, I told him how I felt, we had one last romp and I feel a whole lot better about the entire situation. Maybe that's what I was missing...the break-up shag.
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