WILL2K Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 Okay so I'm fairly new to this whole "open ended" self exploit, yadda, yadda, venting shindig but here goes nothing. I am a 24 year old male dating a 33 year old female. She's got 1 son, he's 16 and an ex husband who is like 40 something. My problem lies with her sexual experiences. For the sake of preventing a really long story, she's pretty freakin' experienced. Anyway, I find that lately I can't perform sexually with her because mentally I am constantly comparing myself to her previous partners. She's openly confessed to me some not all of her wild sex encounters. I.e having sex on rooftops, in a laundry room with the superintendent of the building we now currently reside in. Sex in empty apartments with the super. Sex on the beach etc..etc...it goes on and on. My problem is...regardless of what she is saying how can I compete with that? Am I really measuring up? And not only that...how do I over come the constant barrage of images with those men and my woman. I feel like I'm just a baseball player and it's my turn at bat. I need to feel secure enough to share myself 100%. What am I suppose to do in order to feel like she and I are one? And the others before myself are no longer matter, and be secure enough to know that she won't reminence and miss the good-ol-days of getting screwed any which way she could get it?
Vertex Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 Tell her how you feel. Ask her why she feels the need to just tell you about her past sex encounters.
Latoilette Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 I know it can be frustrating. b/c i go thru the same problem you are going thru. talking about it with the girl does not work. I tried, and it failed. i don't know the answer to your question, but I hope we can both find it.
Cupcake Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 She reallly shouldn't have told you all those details about her past sexual encounters. The only reason people do this is that they want you to feel exactly the way you do now, insecure. People who want to make you feel insecure are manipulative, and mean. Forget about her past. Next time she tells you some ridiculous story about an ex, tell her you don't want to hear about it. Tell her how it makes you feel. Maybe, just maybe she doesn't know what she's doing to you. If she cares about you, she will STOP making you feel insecure. Right now, I'm involved with a younger man. I'm 25 and he's 20. I've had several men who were better sex partners than he is. But he will never know that. In fact, I am certain that every man I've ever slept with thought he was the best lover I ever had. It's totally wrong to have them think otherwise and be insecure. Don't you agree !!
whichwayisup Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 You shouldn't be comparing yourself to anyone from her past. Just stay in the now and be with her. She more than likely isn't comparing you or thinking of her past lovers. Maybe it's time NOT to share intimate details about previous places/situations etc... She is still with you so that says something, right?
SmoochieFace Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 She reallly shouldn't have told you all those details about her past sexual encounters. The only reason people do this is that they want you to feel exactly the way you do now, insecure. People who want to make you feel insecure are manipulative, and mean. I totally agree with this - in fact, if my GF engaged in that sort of thing I would promptly drop her. I do not need nor want to know about any past *exploits*... especially with revealing details. It's just wrong. My advice is to drop her and find someone who is more grownup than that... although frankly your age may make that quite difficult. You went for an *older* woman and this is what you got - so even *older* doesn't guarantee *mature*.
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