usmarinesas Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 I've never done this whole forum thing before, so here goes: My girlfrien-- ex, girlfriend, and I met through our mutual best friend nine months and a 10 days ago, and we became close friends. The three of us would hang out almost every night, whether it was with our other friends, or just the three of us... on April 17, me and her had sex. 3 Days later, I started going out with her. She's told me, as well as others that she never has been in so much love as she was with me. She's told me she wanted to be with me forever, and I'm the greatest guy, and how I'm so good to her, and how she wants to marry me. Two days before our 7 month, she tells me she has too much **** on her plate, between transferring to URI (my school), holding two jobs, finding a place to stay, and the problems with her parents. She tells me she still loves me, i'm still one of the most important people in her life, she still wants to be close friends, and she eventually wants to get back together. I was sad, but I said okay. Two days later, on what would be our 7 month, we're waiting for one of our friends so we could go see a movie, and she tells me that the guy (the only guy i've ever been suspicious about) that she just started hanging out with might like her. I ask her if she likes him, and she says maybe, she doesn't know. its now a week and a half later, and the whole friend thing hasn't been all that effective; she tries harder than she has to to make it obvious that we're broken up, and when we're hangin out with other people she ignores me, almost completely. I've talked to her, and she wants to know why i'm so upset, because she transitioned so quickly? She's swore to me that this other kid had nothing to do with her breaking up with me, that it just played out like that. Here's the dillemma: I've never felt like this.. my longest relationship before her was only 3 months, and the longest before that was one and a half. I easily saw myself with her, and i've never felt this ****ty before. Ever. I miss the way she talked to me, the care in her words, the love in her touch... I don't know what to do... I've been told to just get rid of her, but I can't. I don't want her out of my life. I don't know what to do... if anyone has anything helpful to say, please do.
Apathygrip Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 Ya I went through that..now multiply your time dating times 4 and cut down the time between your ex and that guy hooking up in a third..thats what I went through....hehe, well still going through. It takes time and maturity, really getting to know whats important in life. I felt backstabbed,depr4essed ...like **** for a couple weeks, but you gots to get your chin up and move on. My friend group was excactly the same too which makes it even more fun. I just said bye for good, left her and my freinds there and embarked on what has been a lonley enlightening journey. Hang in there, hope this helps!
SMHappyface Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 Hang in there man - I know the feeling. You don't want a girl that is not honest with you. I've had two boyfriends - one of 3 months and my ex that I've been talking about for almost a month (3 years). He cheated on me and left for the girl he said "She's so F***ing ugly, I couldn't even get it up!" There might be no reason why people cheat or why people kill or why people rape, but they do. Dump her man, move on. I know the pain is incredible I'M THERE, I DO UNDERSTAND, but you deserve somebody that is totally honest with you and respects and loves you. Don't settle just because you hate the idea of life without her. Life with her is no match for what life could be like with somebody that truly loved you. Nobody cheats on somebody they REALLY love.
airforcemama Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 well, i really understand how you feel..your doing the same thing i have always done..your looking for hope because you think having her love back is the only way out of this pain..well your wrong.your not going to be able to ever change her mind into wanting you back, you'll never truly know if this other dude really was the reason or not..so instead of moping around and waiting for her to come back to you..get better..build strength and get back to concentrating on yourself. of course you dont want her ot of your life..none of us want the significant other person out of our lives thats why we are in such pain..because we want them..but hoping that they will come back someday or seeing them every once in a while is the worst thing to do..the reason why you feel so much pain is because you still constantly see her and she makes it even harder on you because she doesnt communicate much with you and that is exactly what you are hoping for everytime you see her..concentrate on yourself..you are a person just like the rest of us all on this planet and sometimes we feel down and sometimes we dont know how to cope with it..well im going to try and help in everyway i can because i know the feeling of pain better than anyone else does..(just kidding) first thing you need to do is ask yourself if you even want to get better or not..do you even want to get over this whole mess?YES!! next step is to get out and instead of sinking your head into thoughts about her, look around and appreciate the things that you never bothered to recognize before..i know it sounds stupid, but look at how blue the sky is or at how green the grass is..the reason why im telling you to do this is because these are everyday things that no matter what happens to us, are always going to be there..next step is to hve a friend or family member that you know is going to give you the ight advice and is always willing to help you out..whether its your buddy or your mother or sister..talk to them as often as you need..dont worry about if your bothering them or whatever because if they love you or care abot you enough to listen to your problems then they dont mind!! then.i know this isnt easy but when you start thinking about your ex..stop yourself..its not going to change anything by thinking about her.be selfish and think about what you need in life and that you standing on your own two feet is way more important than anything else because next time something painfull like this comes along, its gonna hurt but you know what..not even as half as much as it does now because you are going to be so self-confident and strong..remember..think about what you need to get better and to gain strength..nobody else!! I've never done this whole forum thing before, so here goes: My girlfrien-- ex, girlfriend, and I met through our mutual best friend nine months and a 10 days ago, and we became close friends. The three of us would hang out almost every night, whether it was with our other friends, or just the three of us... on April 17, me and her had sex. 3 Days later, I started going out with her. She's told me, as well as others that she never has been in so much love as she was with me. She's told me she wanted to be with me forever, and I'm the greatest guy, and how I'm so good to her, and how she wants to marry me. Two days before our 7 month, she tells me she has too much **** on her plate, between transferring to URI (my school), holding two jobs, finding a place to stay, and the problems with her parents. She tells me she still loves me, i'm still one of the most important people in her life, she still wants to be close friends, and she eventually wants to get back together. I was sad, but I said okay. Two days later, on what would be our 7 month, we're waiting for one of our friends so we could go see a movie, and she tells me that the guy (the only guy i've ever been suspicious about) that she just started hanging out with might like her. I ask her if she likes him, and she says maybe, she doesn't know. its now a week and a half later, and the whole friend thing hasn't been all that effective; she tries harder than she has to to make it obvious that we're broken up, and when we're hangin out with other people she ignores me, almost completely. I've talked to her, and she wants to know why i'm so upset, because she transitioned so quickly? She's swore to me that this other kid had nothing to do with her breaking up with me, that it just played out like that. Here's the dillemma: I've never felt like this.. my longest relationship before her was only 3 months, and the longest before that was one and a half. I easily saw myself with her, and i've never felt this ****ty before. Ever. I miss the way she talked to me, the care in her words, the love in her touch... I don't know what to do... I've been told to just get rid of her, but I can't. I don't want her out of my life. I don't know what to do... if anyone has anything helpful to say, please do.
Selections1 Posted December 8, 2005 Posted December 8, 2005 im in the same boat as you, but atleast u know.. i found out like last week (like 3-4 months after we broke up and they got together) and the whole time i was trying to talk to her and use NC and anything else i thought would work to get us back together and no it all makes sense to me...so where to go from here i dont know but you have to think the door is closed now and there not comming back that was great advice airforcemama i read it twice!
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