jesskate95 Posted March 8 Share Posted March 8 Do you think right person, wrong time exists? What do you think of my situation. I met this guy and we hit it off right away, it was honestly as if we had known each other for years. After the first date, he said that although he really liked me and had an amazing time, he wasn't in the right place to give a serious relationship the effort it deserves right now. He is only a couple of months out of a relationship and doesn't want a rebound, he'd rather work on himself and then revisit us. He did mention maybe seeing each other casually. So we did meet up one more time, again it was amazing. After we slept together, we both kind of decided that casual wouldn't work. We both have feelings for each other and it's too complicated just now. He even said it would have been easier if the date went horribly wrong. He said that it would be a good idea to stay in touch and maybe try date in the future but 'healthy if we dial it back' and 'why don't we avoid blurring the lines and just take some time'. He's also said that he won't be seeing anyone else in the meantime although he mentioned that it's unfair to ask me to do the same. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 It's BS. If you really were the right person for him, he'd be all over you. He knows he's too damaged, too scared or whatever. He wants to play the field. He wants to be free. I would not wait around. Stay in touch if you like but do not put your life on hold for this guy. IMO he won't be back for anything other than a hook up. When you slept with him on the 2nd date after he said he only wanted casual he lost respect for you. 4 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 It's absolute BS. He's saying that to spare your feelings. He's just not that into you. If he was really into you, he'd want to pursue something with you and he wouldn't pass up that chance. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 On 3/8/2024 at 9:53 PM, jesskate95 said: He said that it would be a good idea to stay in touch and maybe try date in the future Please don't put yourself on hold for this. It might never happen, and you don't want to get hurt. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted March 10 Share Posted March 10 (edited) On 3/9/2024 at 4:53 AM, jesskate95 said: Do you think right person, wrong time exists? What do you think of my situation. I met this guy and we hit it off right away, it was honestly as if we had known each other for years. After the first date, he said that although he really liked me and had an amazing time, he wasn't in the right place to give a serious relationship the effort it deserves right now. He is only a couple of months out of a relationship and doesn't want a rebound, he'd rather work on himself and then revisit us. He did mention maybe seeing each other casually. So we did meet up one more time, again it was amazing. After we slept together, we both kind of decided that casual wouldn't work. We both have feelings for each other and it's too complicated just now. He even said it would have been easier if the date went horribly wrong. He said that it would be a good idea to stay in touch and maybe try date in the future but 'healthy if we dial it back' and 'why don't we avoid blurring the lines and just take some time'. He's also said that he won't be seeing anyone else in the meantime although he mentioned that it's unfair to ask me to do the same. I was in a similar situation. Just a month after a painful breakup, I met a woman I almost instantly fell in love with. I can’t imagine having asked her to have a casual relationship or suggesting to her to see other people. Maybe that’s just me, maybe he is a different type of man honestly trying his best to do the right thing. But personally, I’d take it as a symptom of lacking strong feelings. Edited March 10 by Gebidozo Quote Link to post Share on other sites
happyhorizons Posted April 4 Share Posted April 4 On 3/9/2024 at 9:55 PM, ShyViolet said: It's absolute BS. He's saying that to spare your feelings. He's just not that into you. If he was really into you, he'd want to pursue something with you and he wouldn't pass up that chance. I wholeheartedly agree if IT'S RIGHT then the time and place really are not factors. Love happens and it's magical. I just don't see that in his reactions. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
LoveDearIntuition Posted April 4 Share Posted April 4 I love this question because it is highly relatable. I feel this is a classic issue of the guy’s mind getting in the way. While I know there are many “right” people for us, for sure there can be a “right person” at the wrong time because of the many layers the mind creates that cover up what really makes or breaks a relationship - its energy. I’m channeling this message for you. All the time, our energy helps us attract or detract a person.This time, this guy is not allowing himself to stay in the energy that had brought you two together. If he keeps telling himself he can’t, then he won’t. He likely does need to work on himself since his last relationship broke up for a reason. There could be a lot of mental clutter to evolve through for him to have a successful relationship. But if he knows how to treat a person well, he could work through issues while in a relationship with you. We learn lessons in relationships, not in isolation. With that, it may not be best to wait for him. You do and (he may) not know when the clutter will fall away so you two can hang in the lovely energy you two have together. But someday you may hang in it again. I hope so! 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted April 4 Share Posted April 4 "not the right time" means i like you enough for casual sex but i want to date someone better. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted April 4 Share Posted April 4 (edited) All the above posts are correct. Case in point: I was two months separated from my first husband when I met my now partner of 30+ years. I wasn't looking for a new partner and technically it was way too early, but he was too good to let go, so I threw caution to the wind and it paid off. I suggest you tell him that if and when he's ready to date you, he should contact you. And if you are single and still interested, you will give it a go. But do not wait for him! Edited April 4 by basil67 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted April 4 Share Posted April 4 On 3/8/2024 at 8:53 PM, jesskate95 said: Do you think right person, wrong time exists? I tend to agree yes, If you are in a relationship for a few years and your true love suddenly reappears, well you cannot all of a sudden abandon the person you have built up a relationship with, even if you know in your heart the reunited love is your soulmate - sometimes you just have to say No because it is the "right thing to do" and you have to let your true love go although you may regret that later. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted April 4 Share Posted April 4 2 hours ago, flitzanu said: not the right time" means i like you enough for casual sex but i want to date someone better. mmmn I take your point, but No that is not the way I see it, as I explained, sometimes you miss out and let them go for different reasons or perhaps even noble reasons. sometimes the mind plays tricks on us also and we are unable to decide what is correct or best for us. Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Alpacalia Posted April 4 Share Posted April 4 I do belive in the concept of right person, wrong time. But this is not it. Sorry. This is a soft rejection. This guy is not interested in a relationship with you right now and is trying to let you down gently. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Gebidozo Posted April 5 Share Posted April 5 3 hours ago, Foxhall said: mmmn I take your point, but No that is not the way I see it, as I explained, sometimes you miss out and let them go for different reasons or perhaps even noble reasons. sometimes the mind plays tricks on us also and we are unable to decide what is correct or best for us. I could find plenty of different reasons (including some that could be called “noble” by some people) to let my lady go when we just met. The thought never even crossed my mind. If it’s the right person, any time is right. And you can’t tell whether it’s the right person or not unless you try a serious relationship with them. 1 Quote Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.