MIOSBORNE Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 My wife and I have been married a total of five years this past October. We have had our ups and downs both emotionally and financially. I am an honest, hard-working guy trying to make a decent living. We have had financial troubles such as bankruptcy, etc. My wife says she wants a divorce because I have not taken care of the family and she blames me for us not having more material things. We have a three bedroom townhome and no brand new cars but each are about four years old. She is not currently working but says she is out once she finds a job after the holidays. A few weeks ago I found out she had been having cell phone talks and text messages with another man. She swears they were just friends and now claims she is not speaking to him and it was a mistake. Lately she blames me for everything and gripes and nags constantly while finding reasons to leave the home alone. She takes extra care with her appearance such as douching, breath mints, etc. It has been a roller coaster the past month because she goes back and forth between a separation, a divorce, not leaving at all, to just wanting space. It can change daily or hourly. I am starting to think she is losing her mind as she said she had a nervous breakdown before we met. Also, we have two children ages 8 and 2. She is not BM of my 8yo son and says she decided she does not want to raise him and this is the part of the reason he is leaving. He has ADHD but his behavior is not excessive and he is with me most of the time. We are struggling financially now as I am the only one working and have not found a second job yet. Our lights were cut off yesterday and she blames me of course because I have not found a second job yet. It seems I can do nothing right these days. She is starting to make me feel like a bad husband and father. Does anyone have advice about what she is going through. She says she just wants to concentrate on her and her daughter to improve her life by moving out.
bkz Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 Seems odd shes blaming you for your financial difficulties and you should be the one to get another job yet shes not working at all? Are you sure she was just chatting on the phone with the other guy? Even if she was, seem inapropriate and something to be very concerned about. Do you think these are just excusess to get the space she needs to be with this other man? Seems to me thats the case, wanting a seperation makes it seem even more like that too me. Hey why not just put the marriage on the back burner while I try out this other relationship then find out what I really want?
Skeered Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 I agree with bkz it seems odd that she is blaming and pushing everything on you. Sounds like a guilty conscience she is trying to cover up. Sit down with her and talk and lay everything on the line. Tell her no more games lets' settle this.
Author MIOSBORNE Posted November 30, 2005 Author Posted November 30, 2005 Thank you. I will speak to her even though it is very stressful because she gets very upset when I ask her anything.
Skeered Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 From my past experience only those guilty of something get upset when you try to talk to them regarding your concerns. Not saying that she is guilty of anything however IMHO when you are married and one of you has a concern I think makin an honest effort to discuss it instead of brushing it off is the way to keep the marriage healthy.
scobro Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 Hey why not just put the marriage on the back burner while I try out this other relationship then find out what I really want? Sounds like exactly what she is doing.I would bet another person is waiting all the signs are there to me from what I have read on other threads.Shame on her
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