new guy in my life..bad timing?

[laneyinlove]

Hey all, So this is my delemna...I ended up meeting a friend of a friend's at a party and had a good time with him even though he was meant to be set up with one of my girlfriends because at the time I was dating 2 guys casually and didn't feel like I needed anymore. Well a couple of weeks later I run into him at another party and well one thing lead to another and we ended up sleeping together...I know he had just come out of a 5 year relationship with someone he loved very much that he describes her as being crazy,bitchy and just plane insane but he loved her anyways. Basically she left him for someone else about 4 months ago. She had cheated on him before and it was volatile ..I know it's not good to get involved with anyone like this but I guess I still need advice. He has said that he needs to go to therapy because every girl he's been with cheats on him and he smokes out all the time and he needs to figure out his life and make changes....Well we saw each other one other time and we went on a date and it was good... and slept together. After we were done he asked me what we were and I said can't we just be friends and take it slow when truth be told I really wanted to be with him in a relationship but everything in my brain said this would not last....but I have this great feeling about him and I don't know what it is but I genuinely like him but know that the timing is not good and he has to deal with his own issues. I was surprised that he would ask me what we were since men tend to avoid that issue and not want to define things so clearly. He even asked me if i think he should date more and I'm the first girl he's dated since the relationship ended. I am confused...I know he loved his ex...I know he smokes out too much.... I know he's not my type traditionally but I like him. What should I say or do in order to keep him in my life and not close the doors or am I just insane for wanting a relationship with him? Please help.

[LN8840K]

" After we were done he asked me what we were and I said can't we just be friends and take it slow when truth be told I really wanted to be with him in a relationship."

 

hmmmmmm

[itwontdawnsooner]

say one thing, want the other

 

people can't read minds

[LN8840K]

you seem to be looking for an excuse to pull the trigger .... are you scared ?

[laneyinlove]

Yes I am scared that I am just a rebound and that he's still in love with his ex and I know he's wanting to make changes and what I have found is when a guy wants to change and when he does ...he might just change me and it's so hard to predict. Should I tell him I want to be with him but am scared? I don't even know if he's into me or is just using me as a patch for his wound. Please help and thanks

[LN8840K]

It's just me ..... but if you were " Just a patch for the wound " I don't think he would be asking " he asked me what we were " and " He even asked me if i think he should date more "

 

in my experience and my experience only " patch for the wound " words

 

most often sound like this

 

" I need time " " my heart is broken " " lets just have fun " " you need to date other people " don't wait for me " " you know I just got out of a relationship right " " I can't offer you a committment " " I think you're a great person too great for me " " I'm dating other people and you should too " " I hope you find the person you're looking for "

 

I could keep going all night

[laneyinlove]

Now he's acting all distant and things are wierd between us. I want a relationship but he is going into therapy and I don't know he just sounds so messed up I don't think I should be with him. I think he took what I said to him to heart and I don't know what to do. I told him I want to be friends yet we're sleeping together and I'm going over to his place to take care of him because he got into a car accident but he doesn't seem too thrilled. Should I back off or something? Do I sound like I'm too eager. Any help would be great . Thanks!