BarbieGRITS Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now. The problem is, he never wants to take me out on dates. He says that it's because he's in college and doesn't have the money, but I'm in college also and usually end up paying for dinner if we do go out. He's not working this semester but his parents still give him money, and even when he did work we never went out on dates. If we did, I normally ended up paying for my own share. I've always dated guys that have jumped at the opportunity to take me to dinner or a movie. When we first started dating he used to tell me how he used to take his ex everywhere, from cozumel to vegas. It seems as though he may just be too content with staying at home every single night with me. His ex cheated on him while he was in iraq and I'm not sure if maybe he's scared that the same thing will happen if he treats me good like he treated her or what. He keeps telling me to wait until we're out of college but I'm just scared that if I wait until then he'll still never change his ways. It seems like he's accustomed to just doing nothing with me. I consider myself to be very attractive so it's not like he has a reason to want to hide me from the world. What do you do in a situation like this?
westernxer Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 What do you do in a situation like this? Dump him. He's got it made.
mini696 Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 Tell him he's an ass and start going on dates with your friends.
kitkat826 Posted November 30, 2005 Posted November 30, 2005 My hat is off to you for dating a man who is military and spent time in Iraq. In my experience, most of them come back with issues that make it very hard to form/keep a healthy relationship. And I'm not just saying this because my ex did a year there and then broke up with me upon his return..hehe...my observations are based on dozens of similar if not worse situations among other couples as well!!
flowergirl Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 Barbie: Ditch his sorry punk self. Using being a poo college student as an excuse to never go out on dates is wrong. My personal opinion is that he's stiil in love with his sex, seeing as he always talks to you about her and all the things they did together. Go find someone who isn't full of crap, regardless of their financial situtation. Good luck.
Fun2BMe Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 Next time he wants to see you, tell him that you are going out to see a movie with your friend, then do it. I've been in your position. I stopped traveling and going out because my boyfriend would keep me cooped up indoors. It took me a long time to learn to take care of my needs and not to rely on someone else to fulfill them. Otherwise you will be disappointed like you are and miss out on life.
SuperMonk Posted December 1, 2005 Posted December 1, 2005 He either isn't too into you or has baggage from other aspects in life, so, if I were someone who doesn't like wasting time, I'd break up.
BrknHrt Posted December 2, 2005 Posted December 2, 2005 My boyfriend used to be like that and he eventually dumped me and now he's got a new girlfriend that he takes out every night. He stopped taking me on dates because he was so comfortable and uncaring about our relationship that he didn't feel the need to. He could care less if I got sick of him and left or not. If I were you, I'd dump the guy.
SuperMonk Posted December 2, 2005 Posted December 2, 2005 My boyfriend used to be like that and he eventually dumped me and now he's got a new girlfriend that he takes out every night. He stopped taking me on dates because he was so comfortable and uncaring about our relationship that he didn't feel the need to. He could care less if I got sick of him and left or not. If I were you, I'd dump the guy. Remember, relationships are two way streets - not one way. If a girl doesn't setup dates at LEAST 25% of the time, or suggest places to go 25% of the time, after 3 months of saying several times that I'd like her to share in relationship duties instead of "paying half/half". There are a lot of girls that believe they are holier than thou and think the man should do all the work, pay all the dates, etc. Those kinda women are trash, and I'm glad there are a couple women out there that help setup events and are not passive in life.
Lara20 Posted December 2, 2005 Posted December 2, 2005 I happen to have exactly the opposite problem. My bf wants to go out all the time & although it's fun it's gotten to the point where I just want a quiet night in so it's not all good lol.. As with your bf I think you should start going out with your friends without him & I'm sure he'll get the message that if he won't take you out, other people will! Just go out & have fun without him. If he doesn't change his ways after that then I'm sure you can find someone who'll be happy to take you out, good luck!
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