myles82 Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 Hi, For a long time, I've been looking for an online community where people can relate to my situation...I think I might have found it, finally. I hope you'll reply to my letter with some advice because it's been really hard lately....anyway here goes. I was teaching English in Slovakia when I met my girlfriend, whom we'll call Mary. She's of Slovak origin and was visiting relatives there at the time, but she was born and raised in Australia. That was in February 2003. We spent 1 night together. She went back to Sydney, and I finished my contract in Slovakia. I came back to Montreal in July and she visited me for 3 weeks at that point. Once again, she had to go back to Sydney...while I went to Mexico (to teach). We were apart until December 2003 when I flew to Sydney (sold my laptop to buy the ticket)...and we stayed together until June 2005. She went back to Sydney because she couldn't get a work visa here in Montreal, nor can she speak any french....which made it hard on both of us. I couldn't afford to support us for much longer since I went back to school in September. She cheated on me in August, with an older man. She's a girl (only 21!) who has a very flirty behavior, but she's very loyal to me and loves me like crazy. I love her too, and had warned her that betraying me would be the worst thing she could do to me (because I had been betrayed by an earlier girlfriend)....but she did it anyway. They didn't sleep together, just kiss. She told me about it, and apologised profusely. Said it was a mistake. She keeps seeing ex-boyfriends and also sees friends which have tried, at some point in the past, to get 'in her pants'. But she feels guilty if she has to put her foot down because she has this urgent need to 'save everyone'....her father killed himself and she kinda blames herself for that...she couldn't 'save him'....and now she tries to help everyone, even if it means burning herself out, etc....I am worried that she'll try to 'test' our relationship once again in the future...like I said, we're young but we got married because we love each other very much, we're soulmates and best friends. But she also has a job that takes her to a lot of bars at night (doing 3-minute massages for a company in Oz)....it's safe and everything but she's exposed to drunks, etc.... I worry a lot. I have always been faithful but she's kissed 3 or 4 guys since 2003. Yet she keeps promising that I am the only one for her. What do you recommend? Am I right to feel the way I do? I try to be as patient as possible, to give her as much freedom as she wants, but it's hard when she's so flirty and wants to be friends with everyone. I also think she has a vulnerability towards older men. Any help would be greatly appreciated.... Myles.
westernxer Posted December 3, 2005 Posted December 3, 2005 What's the point of marrying someone who cheats and lives halfway across the globe? And she's 21? Wow! That girl is having the time of her life, meeting all sorts of gentlemen looking to get into her pants. And here you are, holding a torch, hoping she'll come to her senses. You're better off seeking a divorce. Now. It was a lost cause from the get-go.
travellingman Posted December 3, 2005 Posted December 3, 2005 She has you by the you-know-whats. She's 21, has no interest in settling down, and maintaining a 10,000 mile LDR. And how do you know the 3-4 guys kissed isn't closer to 30-40? Montreal has a lot of hot women, do me a favor and go meet one of them tonight.
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