drgnflybethany Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 I've been a way for a while - but am hoping to get some advice on a very interesting "problem": At the end of September, my local political party hosted their biggest fundraiser of the year. (I don't say this very often, but I looked good..) I hate the right dress, the right shoes... got compliments all night long. In fact, when my friend Rick saw me, the first words out of his mouth were, "where'd you get that dress..." Not long after I arrived, I noticed a very attractive man... and all night long I kept stealing glances at him.. I watched for a girlfriend to come up... none did... I watched for a boyfriend to come up... none did.. and I watched for a date to come up... none did... So, I waited for a friend or someone - anyone I knew to go near him - and no one did... (damn friends...) Towards the end of the evening... the attractive man came up to Rick and spoke to him, while I was standing there... And finally, he pointed to me, extended his hand, and introduced himself - and I introduced myself - at which point he said, "Yes, Bethany - I know, we've met before..." He walked away soon after, and I felt so badly... This is an unusual experience in my world. I remember EVERYONE I meet. I have a near photographic memory - it's freaky... Add to that, he was hot. He is under 30, straight, single, attractive, and of the same political party that I am - 5 combinations not easily found in my town. So, I thought about it off and on for a while... Back in April, Former VP Candidate Edwards came to speak at a local law school.... and the law school is situated downtown - in a high rise building. (Unusual, I know, but it's a good school...) I get nervous driving downtown and I had seen the law school, but never been inside. I'm also notoriously bad with direction. I can remember street addresses, etc... but I don't do direction well - at least not verbally.. The security guard told me - go here, do that, do this... it sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher talking. I usually, in situations like that, figure it out on my own anyway, and I figured there would be signs and whatnot. So, I get near the elevators - good start - I was going the right way... and then, I remember this cute boy asking if I was going to the Edwards event - and he took me up the elevator all by himself - we spoke for maybe five minutes - I gave him my card b/c he was interested in a group I'm affiliated with (a smaller branch of the local political party), but never heard from him. That was him. And now, I'm dying to send him an email that states simply: "The John Edwards event, right?" Bad idea or good?
TUDOR Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 Life is too full of missed opportunities, don't let this be one of them. Go for it!
Art_Critic Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 To quote Tudors sig " If you feel froggy...jump! "
Author drgnflybethany Posted November 29, 2005 Author Posted November 29, 2005 It wouldn't be freaky for him to receive an email message from me?
JS17 Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 No. Would you be freaked out if you got an email from him?
Author drgnflybethany Posted November 29, 2005 Author Posted November 29, 2005 no - I admit, I'd be pleasantly surprised. Girls are different, though - we like attention. It freaked me out that he remembered me - I don't think I'm memorable at all...
TUDOR Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 no - I admit, I'd be pleasantly surprised. Girls are different, though - we like attention. ) Guys do to. Guys are quicker to pursue if they know the pursuit is welcome. A lot of guys fear rejection and won't take the leap, so an easy gesture like say an email from you lets him know that door is safe to go through. And you aren't going out on a big limb by taking that approach, you are just being friendly and the ball will be in his court to make it any thing more than that.
Milo Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 When he said he had met you before, you should have explained that you would certainly not have forgotten him! In any case, send him the e-mail version of the story you just told us. And do leave in the part about how you watched him and wondered what his story was. He will definitely be flattered. I certainly would be. Good luck!
Yamaha Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 He will be flattered by your email and the fact you remembered where you met. Guys like a women who gives them interest so they know you don't just want to be friends. You might even tell him how nice he looked at your meeting to clinch the deal. Nothing ventured nothing gained.
Author drgnflybethany Posted November 29, 2005 Author Posted November 29, 2005 Holy crap... I just sent it... I feel like I might throw up now - and no, Milo, I didn't include the whole version above - that would just be way too much... I didn't mean to send it - I meant to save it as a draft... rework it for the next few days - be absolutely positive.
Art_Critic Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 great .. now just sit back and wait.. he will reply
Milo Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 I didn't mean to send it - I meant to save it as a draft... rework it for the next few days - be absolutely positive. Rework it? Be positive? Blarrrrgh! No way. You can smooth everything over now over drinks. Seriously.
Author drgnflybethany Posted November 29, 2005 Author Posted November 29, 2005 Uhm... probably not... but we'll see... I forgot to mention - in my life the one area I have no luck is in my love life... So, we'll see... But it's doubtful.....
JS17 Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 Uhm... probably not... but we'll see... I forgot to mention - in my life the one area I have no luck is in my love life... So, we'll see... But it's doubtful..... duh. welcome to loveshack! It will be fine. he'll write back.
Milo Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 Uhm... probably not... but we'll see... I forgot to mention - in my life the one area I have no luck is in my love life... So, we'll see... But it's doubtful..... So what is your analysis to explain this lack of luck? Hmmm. Too cautious, perhaps? And when you say "no luck" does that mean you get shot down a lot, or that nothing has happened over time? Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Rejection isn't nearly as painful as falling into a grove of agave cactus. In any case, keep doing these impulsive, silly things and you'll end that dry spell.
Author drgnflybethany Posted November 29, 2005 Author Posted November 29, 2005 No... these impulsive silly things have brought nothing but badness.... That's why I was so hesitant to email him in the first place...
michaelk Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 You did the right thing. Be confident. And don't worry about the fact that you didn't remember him, or that you sent your email prematurely. No one's perfect, and if he's interested at all he won't hold those things against you.
TUDOR Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 No... these impulsive silly things have brought nothing but badness.... That's why I was so hesitant to email him in the first place... What's the worst that could happen, he won't reply and no real skin off your back and maybe a little dissapointment. What's the best that can happen, he replies and you two hit off and a hot steamy love affair begins. Ok, maybe a little extreme but you never know. Every risk has it rewards but you can't win if you don't play so good for you for putting it out there. Keep us posted.
Author drgnflybethany Posted November 29, 2005 Author Posted November 29, 2005 Do I have to stand in traffic, wearing some sort of caricature outfit to announce the following, or will just saying it be cool enough?: You were right.... I was wrong... He replied this morning... and apparently, I completely forgot him not once but twice... (ahhh, the irony)... and my favorite line: "I am flattered by your curiosity." And now, he wants to know where I got his email address from.. there were a couple of sources, but I'm going with the first one... Just don't know whether to be flirty at first and say something like "Wouldn't you like to know.." or whether I should tell him the whole story... Thoughts... suggestions on this new problem?
TUDOR Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 Never show them your whole bag of tricks, only disclose what you must and yes make it fun. You know your own level of comfort as far as flirty goes so be playful and even flirty but don't overdue it. Yeah for you!
Author drgnflybethany Posted November 29, 2005 Author Posted November 29, 2005 So... you're saying tell him or are you saying don't tell him and be flirty for a while?
Yamaha Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 Keep him guessing on your email source. Make things fun and flirty but let him know you are interested in HIM. You have started the ball rolling but don't get to pushy or clingy. After a week or two see if he's up to a meeting in person.
Recommended Posts