belladog Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 My boyfriend and I are hitting the 1 year mark very soon. During Thanksgiving, he went out of town to visit his family. I housesat for him and found harcore trashy Latino porn in his DVD player. Having been 9 months with him I had no idea he still enjoyed and acted like that. We have sex and sleep witheachother every night and I always felt our sex lacks passion...Also, I would ask why he ejaculates so little...he would say I don't know. Anyhow, I wouldn't be upset this much with finding a porn but the night before we had amazing sex and it really suprised and bothered me. In addition, I found more in his cabinet, DVD case and even in his back office near his computer! I feel it may be a secret enjoyment for him. I don't know whether to believe his reasoning that it is an occasional thing and is an immature embarassing act that he did. My question is why so many DVDs throughout the entire house and am I overreacting about it or is it something that reflects a hidden character?
Sevenmack Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 First thing: Why are you looking through his things? While finding the porn in the DVD player was merely accidental, searching through his desk, his computer and the like is just being a snoop. Stop that crap. The other thing: Watching porn, even large amounts of it, is a healthy thing that men do. Some watch more than others, but it's healthy. The porn has nothing to do with the "lack of passion" in your sex life; more likely it's other things such as perhaps your snooping (people tend not to like people who go around snooping in their homes) or perhaps you're unwillingness to try porn with him. Here's an idea: Go to a porn shop with him, buy some tasteful porn (no gangbang crap unless you're into that) and watch it together. There will be plenty of passion afterward. And finally, stop snooping. Would you want him to read your diary? Or check out the pictures of old boyfriends in your hope chest? Just stop it.
Outcast Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 If you're having sex every day and he's got all that porn, chances are he has a very high sex drive and needs to get off often. It's 'hidden' because if you read the other porn threads, you'll see that an awful lot of women freak out completely that men so much as look at pictures of other women. He doesn't dare let you know in case you're one of those women. He could even be embarrassed about it. A lot of guys are made to feel like skanks for being horny creatures. Enjoy the sex you're getting. Maybe suggest you watch some porn together once in a while and see how he reacts. If he pretends he'd never do such a thing, chances are he's embarrassed.
the corinthian Posted November 29, 2005 Posted November 29, 2005 My question is why so many DVDs throughout the entire house and am I overreacting about it or is it something that reflects a hidden character? Your boyfriend likes to look at porn, and you have no right to stop him from doing that. If he wants to look at porn, and masturbate to porn, then he can go and do those things if he feels like it; he does not need permission from you. It does not reflect "a hidden character". After all, your father and grandfather probably rubbed a few out to porn, and maybe still do for all you know. Graphic, yes, but realistic. You are over-reacting. Men can still enjoy their alone time watching porn and masturbating while loving their girlfriends and wives. Trust me.
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