Loves Twisted Turns and Lessons That Are Never Learned

[Tylerslovingfather]

Loves Twisted Turns and Lessons That Are Never Learned

(Who wants too learn; when love is so rewarding even when it leaves!)

 

 

 

There were three things wrong with her when I meet her. One I meet her in a bar. 2. She was married, separated in a way, but married. 3. She was a former crack addict. I didn’t care! I already had a girlfriend and did not think one night would make a big difference in my life. I was wrong! Don’t get me wrong we didn’t **** or anything the first night, but a deeper connection was set in motion that would turn my world upside down for the rest of my life.

 

I had just quit working for my family business and needed to get out and have a good time for the evening. Things were not working out with my girlfriend because she was too needy and semi-psychotic. So, I ended up at my neighbor Dave’s house going over life’s twists and turns not expecting to accomplish anything. That is when Dave suggested we go to the bar to meet a few acquaintances and liven up the party. It seemed like a great idea at the time, but it would have consequences 5 months later.

 

We walked in to the bar and sat down me, as usual, scanned the room for attractive girls that I would not take home with me. After a few drinks I noticed two new people in the bar. One girl was drop dead gorgeous, and I had written her off my list immediately. I watched them for a few seconds as they approached the bar and ordered some drinks initially being ignored, but eventually the blonde took control and got her order in. When they received their drinks they looked for a seat. The only ones available were next to me!

 

I watched them for a little while as my attention and lack of confidence started to take control I tried to stop looking. However, I couldn’t there was something about that blonde girl that made me, for the first time, a little braver. As I went over scenario after scenario in my head, I had just decided to give up when fate intervened. Nothing sets the mood like surgery videos on TLC.

 

I decided to take my eyes off the blonde for a second to glance at the TV. On the screen was the picture of surgery, so I made my move. I spoke with the blondes friend pointing out how strange that was and that is all it took to get the night started. We all joked, laughed, danced, flirted, and drank. It was the first time in a long time that I have had so much fun with complete strangers. It was so good in fact we continued the evening at the local Waffle House. We exchanged names, phone numbers, and a kiss before Rebecca and Jessica (sisters) dropped me off at my home.

 

The next day I spent job hunting on the internet and laying out trying to get a tan. I was going to enjoy the brief break, since I had only gone on one vacation in 6 years at my old job. After the previous evening I was hesitant to call Rebecca all the golden rules of talking dictate that you must wait a day or two or else they will think you are desperate. Well, I had just got this phone and she was the second person to get my new number, so I wanted to call. As I picked up the phone it rang, it was her.

 

We continued our teasing and smartass challenges from the night before, and also spoke more in depth about our real lives. She had two children, Doug and Cierra. She also worked at the factory outlets down the road from her mother’s house, where she lived. She explained to me that her sister Jessica lived in Kentucky, and that she came up on weekends to help her after the problems occurred that she tried to escape from just one month before. We spoke for hours, and it felt good to listen to someone again.

 

Later that evening I called my girlfriend in Circleville and ended our 4 month relationship. She took it hard a called me 4 months after we had split I just never answered the phone again. I never meant to hurt her, but we argued constantly about my decisions in life and why hers were so much better. Karma is a bitch, and it will come back to haunt you, believe me I know.

 

A few weeks passed and Rebecca and I had started seeing each other and spending more and more time on the phone talking about nothing, but enjoying every second of it. A week after we meet I took her out to one of my favorite place, Dave and Busters. It is a Arcade/Bar/Restaurant; who could ask for anything more? We drank, talked about life, and I pointed out exotic stores like Meijer’s which was accompanied a cruel joke that would last forever, I assume. I asked her what she thought of me in the truck on the ride home and she said,”I see you as a friend.” I only asked because she was drunk, and admits to telling too much when she is intoxicated.

 

The night ended a little better then I had imagined, and we had to make a quick dash to her Mom’s house, so the police would not come after me for kidnap. I started going over to her house more and more in the next week as my son was with his mother on her scheduled visitation. Her kids seemed great, a little wild, but sweet none the less. We soon made plans to spend the night together in a RV that was parked in the barn, and did so having a great time. That night was also the first night I heard her speak with the children’s other grandmother, Theresa. Rebecca seemed stressed out speaking with her because it was about the kids and the cell phone she had through her. However, their conversation soon ended and we retired to the RV for more fun.

 

The days seemed jumbled up now, but her sister came home one weekend. A party was being held at Rebecca’s mom’s house, and I was invited as well as my son, TYLER. We arrived and shortly after the party turned ugly. Soon fist fights, shoving, and pushing amongst the two families began because of some words that were said about Rebecca’s sister Jessica. It seems that Doc’s daughter was being smart with her and words were spoken and chaos occurred. Instinctively, I grabbed the children and put them inside then went out to try and calm the situation. It did not work. Rebecca ended up getting kicked out of her mother’s home as well as her two children. She was lost without a home and I was starting to fall for her.

 

They stayed at her Dad’s house that evening in Springfield. She called me on her way there and sounded strange. I would find out later she was going to dump me and move to Kentucky with her sister, but her sister talked her out of it. Why? I don’t know, but she agreed. She came over the next afternoon to my mom’s house we walked and spoke of how life can hand you lemons and you must make lemonade out of them. I tried to persuade her to stay in Ohio. I did this because I loved her, and was afraid to say it. Who wants to hear that from someone they just meet anyway? How could you possibly love someone you don’t know? I will say one thing to these questions it is possible and it can feel great, but always remember the feelings are not always mutual.

 

The relationship progressed faster and faster with each week. Until one fateful day when her sister and friend stayed at her Dad’s house we finally gave in to our feelings. We would not speak of it again for a few days afterwards, but soon realized that we could see ourselves with each other for a long time if not forever. We were both against marriage her for obvious reasons, and me because it scared me. As much as I hate to admit it I am afraid of commitment and tend to push those I love away without realizing I am doing it. As you will soon see!

 

Soon talk of her living near London started, and it would progress into us living together. I started searching for houses at first, but did not qualify. Then we looked for apartments and took a leap of faith and leased one down the street from my over bearing mother (bad mistake). Tension increased as the moving date approached our relationship had changed. It went from fun and exciting to dull and about money. That is where we went wrong and you must never give up what brought you together in the first place. Once you do the relationship starts to become about neediness and resentment.

 

Our troubles soon began after we moved in together. I was stressed, afraid, and wrong. Nothing seemed to go right with anything outside the relationship on both sides. My mother got in the way, her husband was cleaning up his act, and life evolved around money and how much we had or should I say she had. I had many bills that I should have taken care of first before jumping into an apartment. However, we survived and still loved each other the same for the first few weeks. That would change as each day passed and my neediness grew.

 

Take my advice you do not need someone to survive you may want them, but that doesn’t mean they want you. After the troubles began I started to doubt her commitment, and inadvertently pushed her back to her husband. He was fresh out of rehab and probably reminded her of the man she fell in love with long ago. She tried to deny her feelings at first, but my insecurities were in over drive and would not stop. I changed from the person that won her heart to the man who took love for granted with my constant need.

 

The day it all stopped was strange. I was not feeling well and could not eat due to stress I put on myself. I had come home early from work as did she due to her babysitters’ illness. We chatted and decided to go Christmas shopping before I went to school. We laughed, joked, and played as we used to when we first meet. Thinking back to that moment maybe that was her way of saying goodbye; by remembering the good times we have had. Afterwards, we stopped home and stepped outside to smoke I told her how lucky I was to have her and that I did not deserve her beauty, and she replied the same. It was the last smoke we would have together without pain. Had I known that I would have smoked with her until we died on that porch, but it was too late? Before I left I told her I needed to talk about something that was bothering me concerning the time she was spending with her husband which she had filed for divorce. I left, and when I was on my way home it started the end.

 

I called as I usually did and we talked for a moment, but I could tell that something was not right in her voice. She seemed distant and confused. She spoke of seeing a consoler to learn to deal with her emotions. We hung up saying that we would speak when I arrived home. When I showed up she was lying down in bed with red eyes and her glasses on, it was noticeable that she had been crying. When the discussion finally started I began it with how it bothered me that she went to see her husband with the kids, so he could see them. She put her hands on her face and began to cry. This was unlike her she never shows emotion. To say the least I was pretty shocked. She then confessed that she loved both her husband and I the same. I went into shock. I did not know what to do. I tried anger, threats, compassion, tears, and laughter yet none of it worked.

 

I spent the night in the bed starring at her knowing it would be my last. I already missed the embrace we would share, her smile, touch, smell, and happiness. I even prayed to a God I do not believe in to let me wake up from this nightmare. Unfortunately, it was reality and there was no waking up from it. I got up a half-dozen times thinking while I smoked every cigarette I could find. I was lost, alone, and frightened of what was to come. As she went to work I offered to watch her daughter for her. She accepted, but with hesitation because of the guilt she said she felt. I refused to budge a promise is a promise, right?

 

She ended up home early crying because her boss sent her home. She was confused and did not know what she wanted. I comforted her and told her everything would be ok, but I broke down again as well. I told her I would give her space so she could make her decision which was accepted. After about an hour she informed me that she was going to her mother’s house for a little while that evening to try and straighten things out. It would be the first time she would lie to me that I knew of.

 

At about 9:00 Pm that evening I fell asleep on the couch and was awoken at 11:300 when she finally walked in the door with her children in hand. After she had put them to bed I approached her and said,” You were not at your mom’s house were you?” She replied with anger,” No and it’s none of your business where I was.” I retorted,” Thanks!” she looked at me with anger and replied,” For what?” and I said,” For telling me you were making your decision.” She with rage I have never seen replied with, “I WANT MY ****ING HUSBAND, BOB!! But I think you already knew that!” I was destroyed I did not know what to do. She had never approached me with this type of anger before, so I made a phone call to my Dad telling him I need to move out.

 

She spent the next few hours listening to me ramble on as I was going through emotional overdrive. She was still angry after I had gotten off the phone. She proceeded to yell at me for the things I had said in distress. I reacted as well telling her to move out within a week, but later told her to take her time. I spent the next few hours packing, and she went to sleep. Soon after I slept as well, but turned off my alarm clock because I was not going to work in the morning. Hers did not go off and as a result was late for work when my dad called at 5:30 AM pissing her off even more then before. He showed up and I moved out in 4 hours. My life had changed in a short period when I meet her why should I expect anything else when we were no longer together.

 

She was not all bad in the break-up of the relationship she offered to help with the bills, Christmas, and other things which I refused due to my own selfish pride. I knew if I had seen her again I would end up begging and pleading like I did before. She did not need that, and I had to realize that I did not need her. Don’t get me wrong I want her to this day. I just don’t need her to survive any longer. In the coming weeks I put my life back together slowly still hanging on to my hopes and dreams of a relationship that will someday find its way back in my arms. To date it has been three weeks since I have seen or heard her voice, and I will always love her and I wish her the best. However, I do understand that no one wants someone who feels sorry for themselves, and to be honest I don’t. I do long for her, but do not need her. I still think of her, but do not need her. So I have moved on and started some light dating, got out and had some fun, but I can not help but wonder what if?

 

It is that question that bothers. I would take her back, but in order to do that I must love me first in order to love anyone else.