gordon_gc Posted November 28, 2005 Posted November 28, 2005 Hi guys, I am a pathetic dumbass (PD) and just thought I would make a public appearance on this website to see what you guys think about it. Lets keep the story short and interesting. My 13 months gf dumped me 3 weeks ago. The reasons are lovely. She met her ex-bf in July and got feeling coming back. Since then, she said she loved me and wanted to be with me but is confused that she felt this. As a PD, I totally got shocked by the revelation but still, I did gave her a shot and told her I could understand what she felt. I told her she was ahving fantasy about that guys and it was time for her to sort out her issues (calling him and see if he is the one or not). Since then, I practiced NC and as usual, she sent me a text message on my cell telling me the whole "I found a card you sent with the flowers u sent, it says I miss you and I love you XXXX" (I told you I was a PD!). I did not replied to it. 2 days ago, she called me to talk about random stuffs and I pretty much stick to my guns by talking about random stuffs too. Today, I called her just to talk to her and because I had unlightment in the morning. I just thought that I really suffered lately and the only think that made me happy is talking to her or seeing her. I made the wonderful plan to organise a beautiful romantic day with her and make her realise I am more better than that guy. Thanksfully, she was at work and my phone was running out of my battery. I didnt got the time to invite her. I told her to call me later tonight and I am now really doubting it is the best thing to do... I need your advices guys... I wanna see her but dont wanna fall into the whole friend category. I dot wanna be a PD anymore but dont know what to do:rolleyes:
Still_In_Love Posted November 28, 2005 Posted November 28, 2005 Hey gordon_gc When you love for a person it hurts. It sucks when they don't love you back! If she loved you, she won't be running back to old ex and leave you feeling the way you are! Step away from her completely...absolute NC and don't make any excuses! Right now, you're her safety net and knows that if these feelings she has for for her ex don't work out...you're there! Great to know your second choice eh? I'd move away from dealing with her and move on without her!
lamento Posted November 28, 2005 Posted November 28, 2005 Hey Gordon I had a very similar situation - waited patiently for 2 months with nearly no contact - just enough I thought to show her I was there - not completely gone but giving her the space she said she needs - I did recover up to a point but it was too much of a test and I finally broke down over the weekend saying that I missed her - up untill this point we had arranged to meet for coffee and chat - great I thought - a small but positive start as I dearly wanted her back - she had always said there was a good chance for us to work things out in the future and I wanted to believe it. I let slip too much emotion through messaging to her - I guess I failed to see it in myself untill it was too late but she sure as hell saw it and told me she thought it was a bad idea to meet after all as she thinks she'd just hurt me again and I wasn't over yet.. that wasn't what she wanted. After a 2 month wait I finally thought to hell with it and ask her straight on the chances she talked about before - I really came to the end of my patience and had to know one way or another - I was living in constant pain.. it was all so unhealthy. She replied she never said that there was a chance and I'd have to accept her final say - Now.. if she had just said there isn't a chance now because she'd cahnged her mind I could partly accept it but to totally lie and try and make me to be the one who just imagined it sent me reeling back to day one - I've gone into strict no contact - told her I can't stand lies and want her to disappear - felt awful now for 2 days - don't know what to believe but I know it's enough and I don't want to put myself through the torture anymore - she was hurt from a previous relationship - not completely over it and I just happened to find out all about it when it was too late.. beware.. there is no logic rhyme or reason when peoples emotions are in tatters - I think you are doing the right thing in telling her if you love her the door is open but you must disappear from her now and work on yourself - I realise now my ex wouldn't take me back still hurt from the first time she broke it off - the only way she might consider it is after some time and when I have myself together again not needing her and not being able to be in peace..
lamento Posted November 28, 2005 Posted November 28, 2005 by the way - you ain't a pathetic dumbass - we all do things that don't make alot of sense when emotions are high - she might be saying the same thing one day when she realises what she let go - it's just bitch luck I've been so mixed up and said and done stupid things in the past to my ex - she also did and is doing very dumb things but the rules just don't count in this game anymore - stay cool
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