She's with someone else. Have I blown it?

[MrBig1010]

Hi all,

 

I can see by the threads that I'm not alone. Just wondering if anyone would have any thoughts here. My story is as follows:

 

I started dating a girl last year this time. We dated for about 4 months and things were great. She was falling for me but I could feel myself pulling back from getting to close. It had nothing to do with her, just some previous GF issues and timing in my life. All sounds stupid, I know. But anyway, I broke up with her after being together about 4-5 months. She begged me not to, told me she loved me and did not want this to happen. I just didnt love her yet and knew that I couldnt be what I wanted to be for her without figuring other things out first.

 

After the breakup, we stayed friends. Maybe more to the average onlooker. We talked everyday, saw each other a lot. She always made it known that she wanted to be back but I held back. I didnt want to do that to her again if I wasnt sure. We spent the night together a few times during this which is my biggest regret. I should have been a better person and not let that happen. But bottom line, for the past 6 months, she has stayed a huge part of my life and I've hurt her the whole time by not ever getting back together.

 

About 2 months ago. I started to realize that things couldnt go on like this and that everything I thought I had to figure out was either figured out, or not there to begin with. I wanted to be back with her. But she had started to see someone else. I knew of this and it was part of my reason for wanting her back. I told her I loved her and would do anything for one more chance. She was hesitant to get hurt again but seemed for 2 weeks like she was going to give me a chance. Told me she stopped seeing the other guy, wanted to hang out a lot. Then all of a sudden things changed very quickly. She said she was going to keep seeing him, that she wasnt ready for me to make things up to her and be together and that it would be some time before we would be again.

 

Now they are together (BF/GF). She told me she wanted me in her life because we are best friends but hasnt called or written in 2 weeks. I'm trying so hard to figure out what the right thing to do is without pressuring her but without losing her forever either. I tried calling her last week and just kept things casual, no talking about feelings because she knows how I feel and said me continually telling her was making her uncomfortable. I've never felt more empty and that's why I'm writing this today.

 

The bottom line is this. I know I screwed up. I missed every chance with her and took her for granted for too long. I dont expect any sympathy from her or anyone because this was my fault. She means so much to me and I didnt know it until she was gone and now I fear its too late and she may never be back. I dont want to give up on this but I also dont know what to do. She always said she loved me and how she'd never known anyone like me. Even recently I asked her if she thought we had a chance she said yes, a good one. Do I just let her go? Not call her and give her the time and space she wants? Do I try and be her friend and just that? Or do I keep telling her how I feel about her and how miserable I am without her in my life? I'm so confused. I've been dumped before by someone I loved and that doesnt compare to this. There was nothing I could do there. It was all up to me here and I waited to long. I want her to be happy I really do and I'll never forgive myself for all the times I think back to me not being the right person for her. That's just not me and I wish she knew that. She's mad right now and I fully understand why. I guess I'm just hoping she doesnt stay mad forever and still wants me in her life. That she misses me on some level and that maybe another chance for us will come. I'd wait for it. Its so hard with her finding someone else and then just dropping me completely. Any advice? I'd be so grateful. Thanks.

[westernxer]

I feel bad for the new guy she's with. What you did to her is what she's gonna end up doing to him.

 

Oh well, to each his own. He's a fool if he puts up with her talking to you, but you gotta do what you gotta do to get her back. Maybe you'll get lucky.

 

Those are my thoughts.