AverageJoe Posted November 26, 2005 Posted November 26, 2005 And no I am not talking about the movie. =P I have been single now for a little over a year. Being out of a relationship ending badly, I have taken the time for me to heal and come to terms with past events. Now that period is long gone, chalked it up as a learning experience and have been into the dating scene again. I find that when im out I will instictively look at a womens ring finger. If there is a ring on her finger (regardless of what kind of ring it may be), I just say "damnit" in my mind and move on. Obviously a ring is an indicator she is involved. Now is this the correct thing for me to be doing, am I passing up on a potential opportunity? Or should I engage in conversation regardless of a ring or not and ask these girls out? What if she isnt involved at all and still wears a ring for keepsake or some reason. If that is the case I am passing up on opportunity. Just started to think about this recently for some reason and thought I could get an outside perspective on things. What do you think? Thanks =)
centered Posted November 26, 2005 Posted November 26, 2005 If she's wearing a ring on her ring finger, then she's not available. End of story. Women are *really* clear on this one. It's a hassle having to politely turn away guys who keep on trying when we're sending signals we are NOT available, so don't even start. It doesn't matter what kind of ring it is, either. She may NOT be married or engaged, but still wearing a ring on her ring finger, and is wanting to be left alone for the night. One other thing to think about: In many parts of Europe, the ring finger is on the right hand. Tourists visiting the States may not know this, or may not care, and leave their ring on their right hand. However, most of my married (or engaged) friends from Europe *do* switch ring fingers when they are visiting me. They have learned that if they don't, they get hit on by guys all day! So respect The Ring! It's there for a reason!
CoolAunt Posted November 26, 2005 Posted November 26, 2005 Yeah, make sure you're looking at the left hand if you're here in the US. I used to wear a diamond cocktail ring on my right ring finger. I can't tell you how many men asked me how long I'd been engaged. I guess that was a good way to weed out those who can't tell left from right. Don't be one of them.
Author AverageJoe Posted November 26, 2005 Author Posted November 26, 2005 Yep that has been pretty much my line of thought. Thanks for induldging my silly question. =)
slubberdegullion Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 A ring doesn't automatically mean she's taken. Case in point: my next-door neighbour wears a family heirloom that looks very much like a wedding ring. (She's a very hot single mum.) Some single women wear a ring to keep the slathering dogs away - present company excepted, of course - or just out of habit.
Outcast Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 If she's wearing a ring on her ring finger, then she's not available. End of story. Women are *really* clear on this one. Untrue. There is NO repeat NO global consensus on this. I wear an old ring on that finger because it's the safest place to wear a ring (least likely to get caught, etc.) for right-handed people. Now if she's wearing two rings together on the ring finger that's another story but a single ring can mean anything so don't chicken out - ask!
luvtoto Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 I've been single for 2 yrs now, and personally am looking forward to being in another relationship, cause I'd love to wear rings again!! You are not the only one who uses the 'ring-on-the-finger test'. I do it with men. But, no matter how much they flirt...if I notice they have a ring on...I immediately stop the flirting. I guess it's easier with men...men don't usually wear rings unless they are indeed married.
centered Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 Something Outcast said got me thinking. Many women wear lots of rings together. Sometimes I'll wear 4 or 5 if I'm dressing kind of gypsy or doing lots of bling. And in these cases, I probably *will* have a ring on my ring finger, plus my other hand's ring finger, pinkie rings, middle finger, etc. But if I'm only wearing ONE ring, and it's on my ring finger, I'm taken. And if a guy starts flirting with me, I'd hold the back of my hand up for him to see the ring quite clearly. And if he *still* flirts -- I'd feel annoyed. I don't know *any* women that would wear a *single* ring on their ring finger and WANT guys to hit on them.
Author AverageJoe Posted November 27, 2005 Author Posted November 27, 2005 Untrue. There is NO repeat NO global consensus on this. I wear an old ring on that finger because it's the safest place to wear a ring (least likely to get caught, etc.) for right-handed people. Now if she's wearing two rings together on the ring finger that's another story but a single ring can mean anything so don't chicken out - ask! This is the kind of response I was curious to hear. The ring may be there for a binding reason, although, it may not be. Im not making excuses to ask someone out that may have a ring on. I am genuine in my question, and interested in hearing perspectives. It's not a matter of if I will chicken out or not, its more of a matter of respect. I see a ring and I move on without even an attempt. Hmm so this begs the question. How do I actually know who to ask based on a piece of jewelry? A wedding band, or wedding set is quite apparent. Or there may be a circumstance I am completely unaware of as to why she may be wearing a ring and I miss an opportunity.
luvtoto Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 When I was a bartender...I used to wear a single ring just to ward of the propositions.
Outcast Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 Just start chatting and if she seems interested, bring up one of those obvious/bogus questions like 'do you and your boyfriend come here often'? which tells her you're interested and gives her an opening to say yes or no to shut you down or encourage you.
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