I don't know what to do, please help!

[Ivy05]

Well I don't really know how to start. I started talking to this guy 4 months ago. I knew him through friends but I really had never sat down and talked to him. Well one night it all happened he called my phone but not for me his friend well his friend was to drunk to talk to me so Manny the guy I've been talking to stayed outside of his friends house and bull*hited. Well that night we ended up sitting in my car outside of his friend chris's house until 7:30am. That's 8 hours straight talking to a guy that I had only seen a couple times, through hi's and byes. Well that night it seemed like I had known him forever. We talked about things that even my closes friends didn't even know about me. I mean it just seriously seemed so good to be true. Well the only thing about this guy is that he lives with his baby's mom and his daughter and his dad and his baby's mom, mom. Yah kinda a *ucked up situation. Well when we had first started talking him and his baby's mom Halle were still together. Well I just let it go because I wasn't serious with him or anything so I wasn't sweating it. Well after that night sittin in the car he called and we just kept hanging out and talking and getting to know him and his friends. And his friends were telling me that hey you don't understand Manny treats you so much diff. then he usually does with other girls. And I could believe it because he's kinda one of those male chauvanist, egotistical guys. So I knew I was getting some specail treatment. Well anyways, everything started moving pretty fast. But I didn't stop it because I really really liked this guy, I mean in the first month of us talking he wrote me a song and just kinda told me how much he cared for me. Well one night we were up at his friend chris's friends house and I had my ex calling asking me to come pick him up and take him somewhere, well I thought you know I will just go get Jeremy(ex) and take him to do what he has to do and then I will come back. Well when I met up with Jeremy he kinda started telling me about him missing me and stuff like that, but I just blew it off. Well then Manny calls to see if I'm coming back to the house I was at and I told him I would be coming just to hold on, well in the meantime Manny just starts practically pouring his heart out to me. And this was only in the first month of talking. I mean it was hardcore, like Ivy you don't understand how much I care about you, you mean so much to me. And I knew he was drunk but I could really tell that he was being sincere. But me being the dumb ass I couldn't take it anymore I left Jeremy and hung up on Manny and went to my friend Sabrinas house to stay. Just so I could get away from it all, I just felt overwhelmed. Well during the course of this all Manny called me the next day and we talked about it and I kinda made the decision to say *uck Jeremy, I really like Manny. I felt so bad about hanging up on Manny and kinda leaving him hanging there but I just needed some time to think. Well me and manny got through that and we started talking even more. I was goin and seeing him everyday and spending every extra time I had with him. Because I knew I was falling for him. Well one night he came down to my house and it was just cute because of the scenario and right before he left I wispered into his ear that I loved him, and he responded with it back. That night seriously was the best night of my life right there. Just seeing him look into my eyes and tell me he loved me right there, just left me speechless. Wellafter that night everything was good, we had the love thing out in the open and we were getting along so well. But then I had to do and *uck up, I went and was talking to my ex Jeremy and his grandmahad jsut died so he was crying and I jsut felt really bad so I was giving him a hug and then I started to walk away but I stopped and I turned around and kissed Jeremy. I don't know what possessed me to do it but it happened and afterwards I felt horrible. Like I wanted to tell Manny so bad but I knew it would hurt him, because he loved me so much. And I really truly love him so I'm thinking well it was just a kiss and I didn't say anything well wrong mistake again, he found out and it wasn't from me.(dumb me again right?) yah. Well I apologized to Manny and after that it really wasn't the same but it still was ok. i just noticed that he wasn't chasing me anymore it def. was me chasing him. But it was ok because I really wanted to show him that I did care and I did love him. So I proceeded to chase him. Well then he found out that I lied to him, but it was stupid stuff. not anything big. Well then comes the day of Sweetest Day. I sat and waited for him to call me all day and he never called, and I was just with him the night before and he said I promise I'll call you tom. and he never called well, I kept calling him and getting his voicemail. Well by 9 oclock that night I was a lil stressed out, had already cried and been crying thinking what the hell is goin on? you know. Well I left a voicemail saying you know Manny it's 9 oclock you still haven't called me and its sweetest day, this is that last time I'm calling you tonight, but I just don't even care anymore. Well he took it out of context and thought I didn't care about him or our relationship or whatever. No I was meanign I didn't care if he called even though deep down I was caring if he called. I wanted him to call so bad that night it hurt. Well the next day I found out that he had bought me flowers but after he listened to his voicemail he told his friend *uck that b*tch. And threw the flowers away. Well me and manny didn't talk for about 3 days I finally got him to come meet me and we drove around a lil bit and talked. But everything changed from there, the I love you's that I got when we got off the phone were not there and his affection towards me became very little. But ofcourse since I'm the one that messed up I just kept on going. Well then theres the night he found out that I lied to him about something that happened a long time ago in my past which was way before I even was talking to him. Well he got pretty ticked off about that and I thought for sure that we were goin to be done. But no, he kept talking to me. And yah I shouldn't have lied to him about that but but it was so long ago that I didn't really think it would matter and it was something kinda personal that I really didn't want anyone to know. Well the affection really cut down after that but we kept talking, and since then I was really tryin to show him that I cared about what he thought, and his opinion. Because I knew day by day I was losing him. And seriously to be honest, I'm just not able to let him go and I don't understand why. It's just like I care so much about him its unbelievable. Well in the midst of this all. Lately he hasn't been answering my phone calls, and yes the affection has cut down, we have sex like every 2-3 weeks he stopped coming and seeing me everyday. It's pretty much whenever he feels like it. Well like I said I was really trying, because I missed our old ways we used act. I mean if you would have saw it, it was the cutest thing in the world. I mean I even had one of his closest friends tell me one night, that he wishes he had what me and manny have. And told me that we just love eachother so much and people could see it in our when we talked to eachother. And he also told me Ivy he treats you diff. then he does other girls. And I believed him also. And I just thought it was so cute that people actually envied our relationship. Well everything was ok until just last night, my suppose to be best friend told him about a time before we even got serious. And ofcourse he got mad because I didn't tell him about this situation. And believe me I understand where hes coming from and I would be ticked off too. But I proceeded to ask him, well your goin to sit here and tell me that you haven't slept with Halle(his baby's mom) this whole time we've been talking and he says to me, well if you want to know that truth I had sex with Halle last night. And right there, my heart was shattered into a million pieces. Like I had that feeling like I wanted to scream but cry at the sametime. But I didn't know what to say or do, I was just shocked but mad at the sametime. But there really was nothing I could say or do that could change it. So Ijust left it at that. Well me and Manny talked a little last night, and he told me that he stills cares about me and still has feelings about me but there was def. goin to be a change. And when I asked him where we stood, he said he didn't know he takes things day to day. I just don't know anymore. I don't know if I'm emotionally able to deal with these changes. And if I'm not how is it goin to effect me or him. I don't know, but I just really need some advice I what I should do. Should I stick by him since he gave me so many chances, or does it sound like he wants out but he just don't want to hurt my feelings. Or does he just want to be friends? I don't know, I would really like some guys to answer, I know its a real long story but please answer and give me some advice or what you think. It would help me out so much! Thanks

[Sami_D]

Hello there. Have you posted this in the wrong forum..? Or have I missed something..? Is Manny married?

 

I have some thoughts about the story and that might help, but I think I'll wait for a while just in case it's moved to another forum.

 

Oh, and if you are moving it, you really should think about cutting it up into paragraphs, because it's hard to read as it is.

[Leilao1]

Give it a chance. He cares. It is just that men when they get burned a little they pull away and tend to withold their feelings. Not sure about that baby's mom. Is that his primary relationship or just a situation, convenience sort to speak?

[nextel]

Lets ask some questions about you first.

Do you have children? How old are you? What is his reason for not being with his baby's mom?

 

I understand that sometimes, the heart is not so smart. But why not use your head instead?

 

You will never be first in his life. His children and their mother will always come before you regardless of what he tells you. You are setting yourself up for heartaches and to me; its not worth it. What does this guy have to offer you other than the words from his mouth?

 

I mean, I am not trying to be an outright bitch here, but why would you get involved with a guy that is still sleeping with the mother of his children, still lives with her and sees her everyday. You are basically giving him all the powers to make decisions about were things go in your "relationship".

 

I dont know, this seems like a big headache. Good luck to you.

[newbby]

nextel, she didnt say what the status of the relationship is with the babys mom. it doesnt sound like it is a sneaky relationship as so many people have opinions on it. op, does the babys mom know? what is their relationship now?

[foolinlove]

You have to be 20 or younger......because all this babble makes me dizzy.

[beachrosie]

She was just putting her perplexing thoughts to words.

[nextel]

nextel, she didnt say what the status of the relationship is with the babys mom. it doesnt sound like it is a sneaky relationship as so many people have opinions on it. op, does the babys mom know? what is their relationship now?

 

 

The writing is on the wall. Evidently she at some point thought maybe he is still sleeping with her, or maybe not. But when he told her that he was, she was somewhat hurt.

 

I bet she does not go to his house and have tea with him and the mother of his child. Because if she did, she would not be on here venting.

 

This relationship is not healthy, he is taking advantage of her innocence, thats what he is doing. It does not take a genius to figure out that this girl is young and naive. This guy is doing what he needs to do to feel fulfilled. He goes to her when he wants to have sex with her. I read her entire story, and it sounds very well constructed by a mature man that knows what he is looking for. Sex of convinence.