Arrrrrgggghhhh!!!!

[FUBARd]

I think I'm going insane....

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t75509/

 

That's my story.... good GOD!!! This really is driving me crazy thinking about this girl, playing over every little detail in my mind, weighing up the arguments for (she likes me) and against (she doesn't). I know she doesn't, that's not what bothers me too much.... even though it does but there's a bigger issue.... which is I know that if she knew me well enough, we could be great friends or more.... that's not me being big-headed, it's just that we are so, so alike, I've never met anyone with my weird sense of humour and my silly insecureties.... well mine are justified, hers aren't.... I just know that we could be perfect for one another, don't ask me how, but I know. But I am so afraid that I am never going to get the chance to show her that. Things went so, so well on Thursday night, we talked and talked and laughed and laughed, it all went perfect. But then yesterday, I don't know.... it's like she lost interest, and was getting along with somebody else instead (I'm insanely jealous). I'm just afraid that I'm going about this the wrong way.... I try to be myself, but I'm not really sure what myself means.... and some days she'll be so nice to me and others she'll be.... just ignoring me. Not blatantly ignorant, just not herself.... aaaaaaarrrgghh I really am going mental here, God knows what I'd be like if I woke up tomorrow morning and somebody told me this was never gonna work out.... yah.

 

Any sort of response would be appreciated, it really, really helps me to talk about this.

[Neptune]

The only thing you can do is just to try to make direct contact with this gal through private chat, telephone or however young people do it these days. Sorry, I`m technologically challanged:D Just do it, move foward. That will clear your head. You may get nowhere but what I`m saying is that you got to satisfy your mind, as they say. When you have done all you can think of to do (without becoming a stalker:o ) Then, you will either be getting places with her or striking out.

 

Striking out can be a real good thing because it means you have been up to bat and give it a shot. That way you never have to say "what if".

[slubberdegullion]

FUBARd, FUBARd, FUBARd, *sigh* chill for a moment.

 

I just know that we could be perfect for one another, don't ask me how, but I know.

No you don't. You don't know that at all. You are seeing a potential future through the lenses of the blush of desire and hope. That's not all bad, certainly, but it's not remotely close to reality.

Things went so, so well on Thursday night... it all went perfect. But then yesterday ... it's like she lost interest

Lerdtunderinjezuz man, she's either playing you or she's oblivious to your feelings. Who needs that in a relationship??

some days she'll be so nice to me and others she'll be.... just ignoring me

So she's emotionally erratic. Not high on my list of things I look for in a woman.

 

Dude, you need to back off a little bit. No, scratch that, you need to back of a LOT. When you find yourself replaying conversations like you described in your mind, stop. Just plain stop. It's doing you no good at all, and she's completely oblivious to it, so there's nothing positive that can come of it.

 

Go do something else. Get your mind off of this, because it's not helping.

 

I can use a hand doing some drywalling in my house. What time shall I expect you?

[FUBARd]

lol.... how about after I get through all this!

 

Neptune - that's good advice. Coz that's the biggest fear I have, is that it'll never get anywhere. So I guess if I try my best, I can't have any regrets, because either this is as meant-to-be as I think it is, or.... it's not.

 

Still though.... I'm scared ****less of doing stuff like that. I don't wanna come on too strong in case she's freaked out, so that's why I'm confining it to the message board. Which kinda means I'm getting nowhere because.... I dunno. I'm trying so hard to be myself, because I know how well we could get along, but I'm just so goddam confuzzled as to what "myself" entails.... I'm wrecking my own head here.

 

slubberdegullion - I know this sounds like a great big pile of crap, but I can't help it.... it's not just denial, because people who are in denial don't have doubts. I have doubts, but deep, deeeeeeeeep down this is the coolest thing EVER, and I know, somehow, this is real. True, it's not doing me any good, I've lost interest in pretty much everything around me, but there's nothing I can.... or will.... do about it until the river runs dry. I've never been so sure about anything in my life, and if I back off now I'll never forgive myself. She's emotionally erratic, I'm emotionally FUBARd.... things are **** for me right now, and they will be **** for me again, but I have no doubt that things will work out for the better, Still, it's great to talk about it, and thank you people.

[slubberdegullion]

lol.... how about after I get through all this!

So... no help with the drywall then?

 

oh s***... hafta do it myself then *grumble grumble bitch chew*

[FUBARd]

You know maybe you're all right. Maybe this is never going to happen. Maybe I'm just thinking this way because it offers me an escape from ordinary, boring, day-to-day life in this dead-end town. It hurts to think like this, it hurts to contemplate that some day I will have to let go of my dreams of a life with her, give up hope and settle for A) nothing, a dull and boring, pointless life of nothingness B) a life of doing all the things I ever wanted to do, apart from meeting the girl of my dreams C) .... yeah I think it's just A and B. She is the girl of my dreams. I know that much. Whether or not this is meant to be is beyond me, but it's beginning to seem so goddam impossible and it's killing me. I so, so badly want to be able to hold this up one day as an example of how two people can be meant for one another, but nobody else seems to think it's possible. I'm not giving up hope, but it seems so far away right now....

[FUBARd]

Just a quick update, coz I’m in such a good mood!

 

Things are going absolutely fantastically, I’m even more in love with this girl than I thought I was…. We’re getting along so, so well the last few days, chatting away like the best of friends, hi-jacking other peoples threads and the like…. Great fun! She is soooooo goddam nice, funny, everything…. And she thinks I’m cute lol! I posted the only reasonably presentable picture of myself I could find! Found out today that she’s hoping to be asked out by this fella in her year, and I can’t believe how little it’s affected me…. I hope things go well for her, because she deserves it, she deserves to be happy, and I’m not the least bit worried about any “competition” or whatever…. Coz I am so happy with how things are going, and I know that if I can keep being a good friend to her and being there when she needs someone to talk to, hopefully things will progress even further and we’ll eventually meet. I’m just so goddam happy right now, couldn’t be happier with the changes in the last few days! Just thought I’d let you all know!

[Neptune]

Gasp! So, you may be heading down that long, lonesome road to the FRIEND ZONE:(

[FUBARd]

lol.... I dunno, so far it's going absolutely perfect, I can only hope that someday I'll be given the chance to tell her how I feel, and she might eventually feel the same way.... wow I'm seeing into the future here, getting visions and stuff all over again.... that can only be a good thing!

 

Really, it's a good thing!

 

Anyway I'll be off to bed now.... seeya!

[Neptune]

I am glad you are happy and it is all good:)

 

There was a novel written way back called "The Courtship Of Miles Standish"

In the novel a guy was helping his friend win the affections of a lady. Anyway, he had developed a real love for this lady. So, in his efforts to help his friend the lady finally told him "SPEAK FOR YOURSELF"

 

Quote from Ross Jeffries:

I make no excuses for my desires as a man.

I make no excuses for myself.

I move through the world without apology

 

Now if I am wrong about the novel and details maybe there is a literature scholar here who can set it straight. It comes from a vague memory.

 

But, there is some good stuff here for you to think over.

[GirlMagnet]

Great Job Fubard. Nice to see you have moved on. I can't believe how your story was so similar to my old one. I had the same scenario as you>>Affections for a girl>>happy days>>Oblivious days, etc. But in the end I realised that there are 1 million other beautiful women in the world and that Im sure there is at least one to satisfy my needs. Hope you have another chance of finding a person that you truly like, but remember to seize the opportunity when its gone...Opportunity shows doors for us, but we have to walk through it.

 

Cheers

[FUBARd]

What?! Who's moving on where?! I think you misunderstood.... I'm still in love with this girl, I still think this girl is the one for me, I haven't moved on, and I don't plan to do so! Things are better now than they have ever been between me and her.... so she's probably going to be going out with someone else, she has every right to, and I hope she's happy in whatever she does. I'll just keep on trying to make the best impression possible, and keep being a friend to her, and hope we eventually become more than that.

 

I am DEFINITELY not moving on!

[GirlMagnet]

Oh ok, I just got the wrong impression. Well that's totally fine then, but can I ask something? Shouldn't you be the one in the picture quote: "so she's probably going to be going out with someone else". You should be that someone else. How do you know, maybe they will break up 5-10-15 years from now. Dating is not a waiting game.

[FUBARd]

It's okay, simple mistake, I can hardly expect anybody to read all of my posts when half of them probably seem like gibberish!

 

Well.... as much as I would love to be that someone, we live in different countries, she's younger than me.... I can hardly expect her to give up a potential relationship in her hometown for a long-distance relationship over the internet. I mean I am so, so in love with this girl.... but I'm happy for her, because she deserves every bit of happiness that comes her way. This is pretty unusual for me, because I am usually a pretty jealous person.... but this just doesn't bother me, because I know in the end it will work out. And I don't mind waiting.... I've spent the first 16 years of my life waiting, and I've got 2 more years of sufficating school to go.... I'll just try to keep making progress as I think I have been, and I hope and pray that by the time I've finished in this town, I have someone to go to, and unless everything I've felt in the last 3 months has been a lie, then that someone is her.

[FUBARd]

Sorry for my continuous blabbering, but I'm kinda **** right now. Things are still going good, we're getting on so, so well, but today just cemented the notion I've always had that I was born in the wrong country. **** it, I just know we could so easily be meant for one another, but it could so easily be that the water between us stops that from ever happening. She is so, so, so, so, so amazing and beautiful and everything I could ever hope for, and I really don't know what I'll do if this doesn't work out. I just wanna keep crying whenever I'm not in her presence, everything else is just an anti-climax now.

 

I'm really sorry for digging this up, I know other people have problems, but I just need to vent. Thank you for giving me a place to do that.

[GirlMagnet]

Man I can relate to you. Im 16 too, an even though we are from 2 different countries (Im on the other side of the world), I can understand what you are going through. I can see it, that you are in love this girl...infatuated with this girl. I think i'm still in your position, where I still 'feel' for this girl I lyked for a LONG time, but now I believe is the 'cooling off' period. I dont want 2 spend me time thinking about her EVERY SINGLE MOMENT. Because what I found out, is that if you are constantly thinking about her, there will be a pain in your heart as to why you cannot have her. Everytime I think about this girl, I force myself 2 snap out of it and think of other important things. If you spend your time talking to more girls, you will actually GET BETTER at talking to girls which will improve your confidence.

Well in the meantime Good Luck. But don't F*** up the opportunity when it comes.

Bye

[Bogun]

Hang on one minute fubard...Is this girl in a different country to you??? If so I missed reading that somewhere.

 

So if she is in another country, and you have never met her, you are 16 and she is 14 wtf are you doing????? You are not in love, you can not love someone until you spend time with them. And she's 14 for god's sake!

 

Holy crap the internet has really f*cked up todays teens.

[FUBARd]

GirlMagnet - thanks for the advice, and I hope things go well for you with your love life. I'll try not to **** it up!

 

Bogun - no offence but that's possibly the worst advice I've ever heard.... how can you say that I am not in love with this girl from what I have told you? Not possible. And so what she's 14? Why the hell should that matter if we get along like the best of friends? Exactly, it shouldn't. The internet hasn't ****ed me up, the internet has given me happiness. I don't know what I'd do without it.

[Bogun]

The internet now provides a way for teens to talk to people on the other side of the world. Ok nothing wrong with that. But it creates situations like you are in now. Where you THINK that you are in love with this girl. The internet allows people to be less inhibited with other people than they would in person because they don't feel the need to hide behind any walls they might normally put up in social situations. This leads to people revealing quite personal things about themselves, which can make either party or both to feel that they have something special with this person.

 

Look at the situation objectively. She is dating a guy in her year in HER country, while you are pining away for her in your own country. This is a waste of time for you and can only distract you from the more important things like doing well at school. Go and talk to girls in your own country. Ok its harder than talking over the internet, but ultimately it wil develop some good social skills and benefit you infintely more than continuing an infatuation with a virtual stranger.

 

She is so, so, so, so, so amazing and beautiful and everything I could ever hope for, and I really don't know what I'll do if this doesn't work out.

What are you hoping to happen? That she will wait a couple of years to get to see you? Does it look like she will wait for you????

 

 

Well.... as much as I would love to be that someone, we live in different countries, she's younger than me.... I can hardly expect her to give up a potential relationship in her hometown for a long-distance relationship over the internet.

Listen to yourself, you sound rediculous. LD relationships are hard enough, but over the internet and between 2 people that have little or no experience with relationships???

 

The best advice you can get is to go and talk to girls around you. Keep this chick as a buddy if you want, but forget about having a serious relationship with her. It doesnt sound like thats what she wants anyway.

[FUBARd]

Look.... I get what you're trying to say, you could maybe have put it a little.... less blunt maybe. But in any case I don't agree with you, and I hope I never do. There's no way that someone can tell me "stop being in love with her" and I'll just say "okay". I'm sure you can appreciate that nothing anybody says is going to put me off. Despite what you say, I am in love with this girl. Just put aside the fact that you think I'm not.... I am. And from the way she talks to me, from the way we communicate, I can just feel that there is potential for something there. You can't belittle if you've never been there. Kinda like "don't knock it 'til you try it".

 

As for the more important things in life, there's nothing more important in life than love. At least that's the way I see it. And there's no point in me talking to the girls in this place, because.... I've never met anyone who feels the same way about life as I do. I hate this place, and as soon as I'm old enough I'm gone. Hopefully I'll have somewhere in particular to go.

 

And yes, I really do have high hopes for this, I'm not just kidding myself. I know that if I can keep being a friend, if I can continue making progress, she can feel the same way, and we can have a future together.... that's not just arrogant thick-headedness.... I've got God on my side, I'm getting signs right, left and centre.... this even goes beyond feelings. This is the right thing to do, and I will see it through to the hopefully happy ending.

[GirlMagnet]

I honestly feel really stupid. Sorry Fubard. I totally missed the part where you guys were from different countries. I just skimmed the text, my bad. Anyway, Im gonna have to agree with Bogun as most things he said were true. Dont believe the crap about liking a 14 yr old girl because its not wrong...its just that there are so many problems that can arise from LD relationships.

Firstly, have you seen a picture of her. Heck, she could be an old man dude. You never know about these things...Im just afraid that maybe one day your heart will become broken if you find out the truth. Its so dangerous these days. Its ok to feel love for her...but think of it, your just making love to a bunch of text.

People can become totally different people when they are on the computer. Now I know why you became so indifferent when you found out a guy was going to ask her out. If you had been there, I guarantee that you would have felt totally different.

Another important thing to consider is that talking to a girl online is not the same experience as talking to a girl face-to-face. 2 years is a lot man. Don't wait this long. Go out, talk to other girls. If your having trouble dont try, try harder. You have to put in the effort to make results. As a dating guru once said: Email is anti-challenge.

 

Make the right choice.

[FUBARd]

It's ok, I don't expect anyone to read all my posts.... the length of them! And half of it is probably gibberish!

 

I have seen a picture of her, I've seen plenty of pictures of her, and I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that she is who she says she is. Definitely, positive beyond all positivity. Remove all doubts, because I have none!

 

And I know you have a point about people changing completely on the internet.... hell, I change completely on the internet. This is the real me, the day-to-day me is an act. It's a stupid pattern I've fallen into, and I can't help it. But I hope that she's the same. Maybe she just uses the internet as a place to unwind after a ****e day? But then maybe she sees it as the only place that she can express herself and open up. I know I do.

 

And I don't want to talk to other girls. She has taken over my mind! You've gotta understand, as stupid as this may seem.... as far as I'm concerned, she is "the one". So there is absolutely no way I am going to settle for any less than her.

[GirlMagnet]

Well..it appears that you have truly fallen for this girl. As long as you believe what is right, Im not stopping you. So if this truly makes you happy in life, then continue with it. Its just I dont want 2 see you get hurt.

[FUBARd]

Hey, it's ok.... it's my own fault anyway. With every day that passes, the more and more I realise that this ending is going to hurt. I know that in the ideal world we could be meant for one another.... well, ideal for me anyway. But I don't know if she'll ever feel the same way. Hell, it hurts already. 2 days have passed, I haven't spoken to her, she's probably forgotten about me already. She has a life, one full of hope and promise, and here I am, stuck with whatever it is inside of me that makes me fall in love so easily.... now I know why they call it "falling" in love.... but the worst part for me is, it hurts already.... I haven't even hit the ground yet.