xxbaddgurl83xx Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 My ex and I have been broken up for a little over a month. Lately we have been talking about giving our relationship another shot. We broke up because he found out that I cheated on him so it makes me surprised that he would consider taking me back to begin with. Well last night he tells me that the only way we could be together is if I move in with him right away because he doesn't want to have to worry about whether or not I will be sneaking out to go to bars and clubs at night. He told me that if we were to get back together today he would want me to be moving in this weekend. I don't know what to do! I want to be with him but I don't want to feel like I am being forced to live with him. I really feel that the only reason he would want me to live with him is so he could keep constant tabs on me and have control over what I do. I'm sure if we did get back together I would eventually move in with him anyway but I would like to give our relationship some time to see if it will last before I move myself 45 minutes away from my friends and family to live with him. He told me last night that I have until January 1st to figure out what I want or else there will be no chance of us ever getting back together. He said that he doesn't want to talk to me until I can give him a answer. I feel like he's giving me a ultimatum and just doesn't seem fair. I'm so torn, I love him and want to be with him but I don't want to jump into something that big right after a breakup.
Art_Critic Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 to move in with someone so you can let them keep tabs on you makes sure that the relationship is doomed for failure.. You should only move in with someone after being with them and moving on to the next step in the relationship.. Normally trust already exsists.. You would be moving in as the first step... If he can't trust you then you need to move on and tell him to move on.. He sounds contolling.. it sounds to me that this is the type of guy he really is.. he is just using the fact that you cheated to make the controlling part okay.. as well as cheating on him was a terrible thing to do to him so he may also harbor resentment for you and just do things to you to square it all up in his mind
nextel Posted November 26, 2005 Posted November 26, 2005 to move in together. I think that you first need to go back to the basics of dating and working towards making the relationship strong, then you can discuss moving in. If you move in right away, things will seem good at first. As time goes on, you will get into arguements about small things, when in acutality it will be about you having cheated on him. This is how relationships become either mental or emotionally abusive.
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