coco24 Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 I have been seeing this guy for about 2-months. The first month we had sex and we have not had and sexual contact this month. He and I have decided to slow things down by paying more attention to our careers(like this Thanksgiving) and I understand he is trying to get his finances together. I do not have any problem with this--I agree with this decision. However, I am the type that likes to spend time-atleast one day together over the holiday with my new bf. I feel kind of lonely and if this is what our future will be like for a while I would rather test the waters a little more by casually dating others. I am a little lonely and although we are seeing eachother now down to 1 week and a half at a time-b/c he is now in PA then going to Chicago. I need more than this in a relationship. Should I see other people while waiting to find out what happens with this one. I hate to rush this guy but what the heck-he may be in PA with someone else while I am sitting here lonely.
slubberdegullion Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 I am a little lonely and although we are seeing eachother now down to 1 week and a half at a time-b/c he is now in PA then going to Chicago. I need more than this in a relationship. Should I see other people while waiting to find out what happens with this one. Part of a relationship requires the forsaking of others. If you want to date other people, then sure, go right ahead; just don't expect him to be happy about it. If it were me (as him), I'd call that cheating.
Author coco24 Posted November 25, 2005 Author Posted November 25, 2005 hmm...didn't think of it that way.
feistygyal Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 two months? no contact with him for another month. that's not a relationship honey. you don't owe him anything. you both haven't pledged any troth. i think it's fine for you to date other people to find out WHO YOU REALLY WANT TO BE WITH. seems to me there's not much commitment from him to you. why are you stressing? men are by nature proprietory. that's their problem. if he doesn't want you to be with other people or explore the possibility other relationships, then it's up to HIM to draw the line clear to you that you both are an item. i don't see how him getting his finances together is suppose to hinder any closeness on any kind of relationship. it's not like he's gonna buy you a cow as a dowry. get on with your life, you only have one.
witabix Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 Part of a relationship requires the forsaking of others. If you want to date other people, then sure, go right ahead; just don't expect him to be happy about it. If it were me (as him), I'd call that cheating. What, you were expecting him to be cool with it? Lol. We live in a strange age! I would also call that cheating, and I wouldn't call again. However if thats what you want to do then its fine to do so. Who cares what he thinks.....right? And he may be in PA dating someone else so what the hell, you'd better get in there first and date someone from your own area. Pre-emptive cheating? Understand I am not judging you or your actions BTW. Just do what you feel comfortable with, and be sure you would be comfortable with him doing the exact same thing.
slubberdegullion Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 men are by nature proprietory. that's their problem.We are? Hmmm... first I've heard that. And even if it's true - and I don't think it is, but then again I can only speak for myself - what makes it a problem? it's not like he's gonna buy you a cow as a dowry. Cow, no. But maybe a herd of goats.
witabix Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 Quote: Originally Posted by feistygyal men are by nature proprietory. that's their problem. We are? Hmmm... first I've heard that. And even if it's true - and I don't think it is, but then again I can only speak for myself - what makes it a problem? Quote: it's not like he's gonna buy you a cow as a dowry. Cow, no. But maybe a herd of goats. I also do not think men are this way by nature in relation to their g/f's SO's partners. They have not walked up the aisle or anything, what I was saying was basically "Do unto others as you would have them do to you". (Groans.....cliched saying I know). Nevertheless has a kernel of truth in it. Cow, no, herd of goats possibly, but whats almost certain is a "hump"of camels.
feistygyal Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 aw c'mon. most men don't take kindly to women "sharing what's his". granted, that might be what most non-new age, chauvanistic men think if not say, but it's something i've heard before.
kitkat826 Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 If you two have never had any type of 'exclusivity' talk, then no, it's not cheating.
witabix Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 aw c'mon. most men don't take kindly to women "sharing what's his". granted, that might be what most non-new age, chauvanistic men think if not say, but it's something i've heard before. And of course women really don't care if a guy is "sharing whats hers"? Not too sure about the logic here feisty. Lilmona makes a good point but........(Cliched saying repeated)
LN8840K Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 YOU AGREED to see less of each other, now you afraid to tell him you want to see more of him ...... so I guess it would be easier to just see other people ....mmmmmmm ok .......why not just tell him what you want and go from there ?
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