LN8840K Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 Jealousy ..... not in a psycho - over controlling - coo coo for co co puffs way ..... Just a mild case show's someone's attatchment ?
d'Arthez Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 Yes. But whether that is healthy or not can be debated. You can argue, based on more spiriitual grounds that detachment is to be preferred.
Mary3 Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 Real Jealousy is not healthy. Mild Jealousy when your bf is flirting openly with another girl is warranted. Excessively Jealous people are insecure people. Unless of course you are an attention whore and like to hurt them by flittering around other women.
witabix Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 Yes. But whether that is healthy or not can be debated. You can argue' date=' based on more spiriitual grounds that detachment is to be preferred.[/quote'] I agree with the above. It is a fact though that everyone exhibits jealousy in a different way. Detachment must be a lack of jealous feelings, not a burying of them. Jealousy is one of things I have suffered from over the years, both as a jealousee and a jealouser (Reinventing the English language here!). Neither can be truly regarded as healthy. Especially if its a green eyed monster! However I would add one point for consideration. Jealous feelings can arise when you feel threatened (In a relationship sense) it possibly can be considered as an analogy to adrenalines effect on the body in times of stress, the fight or flight reaction. It feels a little like jealousy but perhaps it is a way your subconscious mind prepares you for an impending pear shaped situation. Reactions to open flirting and worse is I think a reaction to feeling insulted, just as you would explode if some one insulted your parents/loved ones etc. What you feel when see your SO french kissing another guy in a bar contains so many emotions that "jealous" just becomes shorthand for all the things you are feeling, which include anger, sadness, betrayal, embarressment, and emasculation. "Just a mild case show's someone's attatchment ?" Not really, it may show that the SO has engaged in a behaviour that you find unacceptable in some way, you have to examine your reaction, why am I feeling like this? I think the line that "I am only jealous because I love you so much" is incorrect. It should be stated as "I am only jealous because I am not sure of myself/our relationship/feel insecure etc etc". A SO who has no jealous feelings will not understand your reaction. A SO who has jealous feelings should consider your feelings and act accordingly. But psycho jealousy is an absolute nightmare! Your SO will be driven away if not to complete madness!
933KJL Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 I am not a jealous person and feel I am pretty secure. This woman I dated tried (I think) to make me jealous---and I am not sure of the reason. Telling me that her old BF called and wanted to go to lunch and I would say great where are youu going. Drove her nuts and according to her he (old BF) held me on a pedestal. My thought is that if we are secure--cool we are secure. If not, she is gonna do what she wants anyhow and is it my place to control that. Enjoy yoyr lunch!
whichwayisup Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 Jealousy ..... not in a psycho - over controlling - coo coo for co co puffs way ..... Just a mild case show's someone's attatchment ? Yes. But you have to watch for the reasons why she's jealous and how she handles it. IS it justified in her mind or is she just insecure.
Mary3 Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 If my boyfriend were french kissing another girl its not jealousy I would feel , it would be exhaustion , from throwing out everything he owned into the street ! Good Riddance..
witabix Posted November 26, 2005 Posted November 26, 2005 If my boyfriend were french kissing another girl its not jealousy I would feel , it would be exhaustion , from throwing out everything he owned into the street ! Good Riddance.. Indeed, probably the reaction I should have had. She said she was drunk and couldn't remember doing it. She never ever got that drunk, I knew how much she had had to drink as I was paying, we split up eventually. I was pretty annoyed at the time and was told I was over reacting, and too jealous. I never really fully trusted her after this event. When she didn't go on holiday with her sister she said it was because I didn't trust her. I said the holiday sounded good and she should go, but I ended up being the bad boy who didn't trust. Go figure!
Mary3 Posted November 26, 2005 Posted November 26, 2005 Remember : Someone who is drinking heavily and is having sex with / or making out with someone else ( cheating ), and says they did not know what they were doing , that person is feeding you a line of crap. Because that person is using alcohol to take down the very thing they didnt have the courage to do. So if she was kissing him, she WANTED to and she can't blame Whiskey or any other alcohol. The bottle of booze didnt kiss him. She did ! You are better off without her...
Author LN8840K Posted November 26, 2005 Author Posted November 26, 2005 So Mary, do you think a person's true feelings and attitudes come to the light when alcohol is involved ?
Mary3 Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 Absa~ rutly they do ! If they are violent...then thats who they really are. If they cheat on you...thats what they really wanted to do...
kitkat826 Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 Interesting topic. By nature, I am not a jealous person. I'm very laid back, happy-go-lucky, etc. Through dating, though, I have developed a slightly jealous side. I realize that most people expect a bit of jealousy in a relationship; to them its proof of the validity of it. I'm not saying I 100% agree with this, but it's a relationship style I've noted, same as when people like to be called various times through out the day, same as when people like massages before sex, same as when people want to spend weekends cuddled up watching t.v. versus going out hiking. What I don't stand for is people being controlling. Jealous and controlling are two different animals.
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