Ruby Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 I need some help and quick! I have a FWB who I have been sleeping with for 7 months now. He came around 3 weeks ago and tonight I IM'd him saying Hi and he just signed off after about 5 minutes and he did not reply! I also texted him last week and he did not reply. I have now decided not to contact him anymore but I really want to mail him a last mail because I am so hurt by him ignoring me (there is no reason for him to ignore me) I saw him on Saturday night and he was fine with me. What can I say in a mail that will make him feel like the rude man he is but doesnt seem too bitchy or needy? I know I will be told to just forget him and move on and I will but first I need to tell him I think he is rude for ignoring me
LN8840K Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 you can say more by turning down the next booty call than you could ever say in an email
Author Ruby Posted November 24, 2005 Author Posted November 24, 2005 he does not call me, I call him I have this overpowering urge just to tell him what I think before i kick his ass to the curb. I guess I like him more then I should like a fk buddy
LN8840K Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 I feel your pain ....... call him and tell him your doctor needs to talk to him and any partners he has had in the last 6 months and to call you back ..... then keep putting him off
Author Ruby Posted November 24, 2005 Author Posted November 24, 2005 Oh that is too funny i am laughing here How I would love to do that Seriously I need help here I have to tell him what a jerk he is. I normally act first and think later but I am asking for help first before I do it This site is great by the way i wish i found it months ago
LN8840K Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Obviously you have your heart set on sending him an email ... to be honest there is nothing you can say to effect him if he doesnt care and if he does care you may mess it up by sending nasty email ...so just chill and move on ..you will find someone who cares for you
Author Ruby Posted November 24, 2005 Author Posted November 24, 2005 How dare he come and sleep in my bed and then ignore me like I am nothing. I am so mad at him for that who does he think he is? He knows i dont sleep around, he knows i am not a slut and yet he treats me like dirt someone help me out please
LN8840K Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 he treats you, how you allow him to treat you .............. your best bet is to say no next time he calls and that will say more than any email ....you will send an email not get the reaction you want and be even more hurt ...so let him go and when he comes back and he will say sorry I"m looking for more than a fwb and if you're not you need to hit the bricks ok
LN8840K Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 move on because you can and will do better if you allow yourself to. dont be a FWB anymore if you cant handle it and most people cant
solsta Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 you asked him into your bed without strings and now you expect something from him, that's not fair. If you had a relationship fine, but that is what happens when you base something on sex only, he has no respect for you. Sorry to be harsh. And it would look needy and pathetic if you email him now. he already ignored your calls.
Outcast Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 How dare he come and sleep in my bed and then ignore me like I am nothing Because that's what 'FWB' is all about. No point in being mad. Just realize that the theory that people can have sex with no strings attached usually proves wrong. Don't email him because his answer will be pretty much what I just wrote. You can't ask someone to be FWB and then get mad at him because he treats you like an FWB.
Author Ruby Posted November 25, 2005 Author Posted November 25, 2005 Yes you are all so right and I didnt email him, instead I block his name and deleted him from my list I cannot handle the rejection and I was under the illusion that he thought about me too but now i am under no illusions Thank you all so much I am so pleased that i asked before i acted this time
Mary3 Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 Thats right delete his contact and dont talk to him anymore. He got sex for 7 months and the kitchen is closed !!
Author Ruby Posted November 25, 2005 Author Posted November 25, 2005 Yes you are so right and thank you again I am so pleased today, now that i have calmed down, that i didnt send it! I would feel so silly now and he would feel so big headed and such a stud!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let him rot he will regret it one day and I will have met the man of my dreams.
feistygyal Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 How dare he come and sleep in my bed and then ignore me like I am nothing. because you allowed him to sweety. and whether we like it or not there exists a double standard. he's thinking "gee, she sleeps with me, no strings attached, she's probably been passed around like a tray of canapes at a cocktail party".
Author Ruby Posted November 25, 2005 Author Posted November 25, 2005 I resent you saying that to me Feistygal! I am a 30 year old mother who has never slept around. I came out of a long term relationship and decided that I did not want another relationship, I do, however, want sex sometimes. My FWB knew this and he also knows I do not sleep around and nor does he. Please do not make me feel like a tramp because I chose to have a FWB who (normally) respects me and gives me what i need for the night. I was mad last night because he made me feel like crap when he ignored my IM. I suppose i was more mad as I was not Iming him to ask him around I just wanted to say hi. Now he thinks he is the man and that i wanted him here last night. But I am worth more then this and I will now ignore him and I know for sure that one day he will regret it. We all want what we cant have and now he cant have me! I came here for advice not for someone to tell me that I am no better than the town bike!
Lishy Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 Well done Ruby!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know exactly how you feel hon - I was in the same position and you have to just get out of it. Like me you probably cant seperate love and sex! You deserve more then being ignored and you certainly should not mail or contact him as he will feel like he is the bee's knee's and you will end up feeling rejected even more.
westernxer Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 I came here for advice not for someone to tell me that I am no better than the town bike! That's a pretty good line... I'll have to remember that one. Friends with benefits is never a win-win situation. One usually ends up developing feelings for the other. You did the right thing.
whichwayisup Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 I need some help and quick! I have a FWB who I have been sleeping with for 7 months now. He came around 3 weeks ago and tonight I IM'd him saying Hi and he just signed off after about 5 minutes and he did not reply! I also texted him last week and he did not reply. I have now decided not to contact him anymore but I really want to mail him a last mail because I am so hurt by him ignoring me (there is no reason for him to ignore me) I saw him on Saturday night and he was fine with me. What can I say in a mail that will make him feel like the rude man he is but doesnt seem too bitchy or needy? I know I will be told to just forget him and move on and I will but first I need to tell him I think he is rude for ignoring me I'm not defending his actions, I think him being a friend (FWB excluded) he owes you the respect of talking to you if things have changed. Maybe he feels that you're getting attached to him. It's not just about sex anymore. That's okay, it happens, but if one person isn't as attached it causes a shift change in the FWB situation. Maybe he doesn't know how to end it and walk away without hurting you...So he's doing the old ignore and she'll go away routine.
LN8840K Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 I have to agree with West ....... I like the town bike thing that was awesome and I can't stop laughing ........ ^5
Mary3 Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 There is nothing wrong with you wanting sex and there is nothing wrong with you having sex with someone that you don't feel can be a great boyfriend : thus he becomes FWB. What is wrong is that he cowardly backed out and ignores you now. The farmer who got the milk for free is not very greatful...
Author Ruby Posted December 6, 2005 Author Posted December 6, 2005 Well I did mail him. I mailed him and told him how much I liked him and that i wanted more with him. He did not reply but maybe now I will get closure. 3 days after I mail him he drives past my house and acts like he didnt see me but he roared his engine to get my attention.
westernxer Posted December 6, 2005 Posted December 6, 2005 3 days after I mail him he drives past my house and acts like he didnt see me but he roared his engine to get my attention. Sounds like he was horny.
Author Ruby Posted December 6, 2005 Author Posted December 6, 2005 Sounds like he was horny. Well if he is he needn't look MY way
Mary3 Posted December 9, 2005 Posted December 9, 2005 The *roar* was his tiger crying out to you because he isnt getting anything from you anymore...
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