DacaInaru Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Ok.. so here is my Whine for today.. and its not the good kind... So, I've been divorced for 3 years now.. and about 6 months ago.. started to actively look for someone to date, go out with ect.. Seem though that I am having NO luck whatsoever, If I go out dancing no one approaches me.. if I"m at a bar, I do get approached they talk to me for a bit we exchange numbers and no call back... I have posted my profiles on different dating sites and all i get are the men from Africa/India/any other 3rd world country trying to chat me up. The dates I have gone on have been with men who are possesive or as soon as I get to the third of forth date they start talking about what things I should change.. and believe it or not one guy told me I was too happy.. and he though that being happy all the time was a bad thing..lol.. go figure.. and i've been told that i'm too nice (i think that one was an excuse) So i'm at a loss, I have no freaken clue what it is about me that scares men off.. so how the heck does one go about meeting someone. I have had other friends who have gone onto dating sites and have had results.. yet.. I can't seem to have any luck at all.. what the heck am I doing wrong????? sigh.. I think I should just give up and not even bother.. this is what my profile says, any feed back would be appreciated. So I'm not model thin, or Vogue beautiful but I am as real as it gets. 35-year-old divorced mother of one. I'm 5'4, weigh 175lbs, green-eyed, red head (at the moment), Puerto Rican, a little off beat and eclectic. I’m a very artsy person, I love going to museums, walks, hiking, listening to alternative new age music, I’m a very spiritual person although not religious I’m accepting of all faiths and walks of life. I love history and renaissance period functions. WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR! I’m looking for someone who isn’t a stuffed shirt, Someone who’s okay with friendship first and allowing a relationship to mature and progress at its own speed. I am not into drugs and drinking nor getting involved with very young men or married men and I'm looking for someone who is in my area. any suggestions??
Neptune Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Gotta be blunt. If you are not getting any men pursuing your profile then it has primarily to do with appearances. Your physical description is not attractive and if there is a picture it must not be attractive. It is THAT simple. But remember, that is the online thing. It may be better for you to focus on getting out to places where you can meet men directly. An outward friendly personality is what it takes. And a lot of time and patience. Having a child does not help generally but there are a some divorced men that have custody of a child or children and could use a good woman. This is your highest probablity. A divorced man with custody of children.
AlmostMarried77 Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 I think I should just give up and not even bother.. any suggestions?? You answered it yourself. Online dating isn't going to work for everyone and you seem to think that its not working for you. Quite possibly the type of man you want doesn't do online dating (or go to bars to chat up women) General rule of thumb that i use is - If something isn't working then stop doing it. AKA stop flogging a dead horse Concentrate on yourself again for a few months then see how your situation and outlook has changed. You mentioned the new age, spiritual stuff in your profile... how about concentrating on that scene for a while? You're a lot more likley to meet someone with similar interests and views there who will be a lot more appreciative of what you have to offer. and 6 months isn't that long, i've been longer with out anything
Author DacaInaru Posted November 24, 2005 Author Posted November 24, 2005 You know whats funny.. when I weighed 260lbs.. I always had men asking me out.. I lost 90+lbs and well.. it changed..go figure.. I also have found that some guys have contacted me.. don't seem to have a problem with the fact that i'm a single mom.. they have a problem with the fact that I refuse to have anymore kids.. have had a few instances where i've been asked if I would change my mind about that.. cause they give you a place on the one i'm using to answer that.. but I think you guys are right .. i'm just gonna let it go.... and see what happens..
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