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Stupid question??


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Posted

I am 34 and i never really have understood this whole dating thing.I have never been one to go out on dates which makes me sound like a loner but really every relationship I have been in has been long term and I met these women sort of by chance then we would go out and it always seems to last long term.My ex I met by chance on a patio and she gave me her number I called her we went out and were together pretty much everyday for the next 3 years until she ended our marriage in Aug.I had not been out with anyone before her in abour 3 and a half years.Now I read on these threads 'i am now dating"what is that is that going to a bar and getting numbers and randomly going out with many different strangers to see if you connect,or is it going out with a co-worker after work for a drink.It just seems so forced this internet dating and bar pick-ups.I don't know am I missing something.I know some people go out 3 nights a week on dates I have been on 3 I guess dates in the last 8 years but 2 of those ended up in relationships.I just do not get this dating thing.:confused:

Posted

I don't either, which is why I hardly ever date.

 

I'd rather do the things I like than worry about picking up chicks. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, I couldn't care less.

Posted

Hey Scobro!

Good question, I often wonder that my self.

When I say that I'm dating, in my case it's meeting different people and going out to lunches, coffees, bars, hikes. I meet people through work, friends, or just by myself in bookstores or coffee shops.

I don't kiss or sleep with them, so I dunno. I could do the same thing with girls and it wouldnt' be called dating.

I always thought that dating meant being in some kind of a romantic relationship.

My reply probably didn't help much, did it :)

Posted

I'm the same as Westernxer..

 

The thing to remember ScoBro is the harder you try the more you feel like a failure..

 

Just keep doing what has worked for you in the past..

Posted

I'm the same way scobro, I always have been. I used to think it was just that I knew what I wanted but I thought I had been missing out on a lot of learning experiences by not doing the casual dating. Or at least that's what my friends were telling me.

 

So I started casually dating in my early 20s and forgot about relationships. Still didn't learn anything. In my mid 20s I went back to what I was comfortable with, relationships, and I learned a lot more from that than from casual dating.

 

I'm doing it again because my friends are giving me s*** and not because I want to. I know it's a mistake but I'm doing it anyway. I think all that you learn from it is that there are a lot of a$$monkeys out there and a lot of people that aren't right for you. Personally, I'm not interested in those that aren't right for me and I think that casual dating is just for people who don't really know what they're looking for (or need to fill a void when they're alone). I'm sure a ton of people will disagree with me but that's my opinion.

 

I also agree with A_C, the harder you try the more you'll feel like a failure and that's why people shouldn't push you do casually date if it's not for you. :p

Posted

Casual dating is something I would not consider - How soul destroying to keep meeting people that you have nothing in common with!!!!

Posted
Casual dating is something I would not consider - How soul destroying to keep meeting people that you have nothing in common with!!!!

But you won't know that until you spend some time with them.

Posted

Mind you I wouldnt mind a casual date with Sco's chest .... Ahem!!!!!:)

Posted

I've been wondering if some people substitute casual dating for friendships. When all their friends are in relationships, they want someone to hang out with, go see movies with, etc. Seems some people have a chronic need for company and so they use casual dating to satisfy that.

 

A theory which is mine.

Posted
Mind you I wouldnt mind a casual date with Sco's chest .... Ahem!!!!!:)

Amen to that!:o

Posted

Imagine how many turn down and blanks you could open yourself up for with casual dating

 

I know I would take it so personal if every guy didnt fall in love with me hahhahaha

Posted
I don't either, which is why I hardly ever date.

 

I'd rather do the things I like than worry about picking up chicks. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, I couldn't care less.

 

 

Westernxer you are sooooo right.. I think i'm going to do the same thing.. and stop looking.. although fun.. haven't found anyone worth it... your so right good advice.

Posted
I also agree with A_C, the harder you try the more you'll feel like a failure and that's why people shouldn't push you do casually date if it's not for you. :p

 

I hear ya JS.....

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