MarcoInaros Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Last summer I had a coworker who I thought was flirting with me. I was so attracted to her that I asked her if she wanted to go out sometime. She asked me when I said go out if I meant date. I said "well...yeah." She said that I was a great guy but that she didn't date coworkers. Now another cute girl has been hired and I think she is flirting with me. She smiled at me all day and on her way out she said goodbye and scratched my back. What do I do? Is it generally wrong to date coworkers, or do some girls feel differently?
westernxer Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Don't date them. The first girl was smart.
slubberdegullion Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Do you guys think that dating coworkers is a bad idea? Yes. Next question?
Author MarcoInaros Posted November 24, 2005 Author Posted November 24, 2005 LOL any more opinions? The guys that I work with don't think it's a bad idea. In fact, there are 2 couples who work there now.
westernxer Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 LOL any more opinions? The guys that I work with don't think it's a bad idea. In fact, there are 2 couples who work there now. Wait till they start dumping each other... the shiit's gonna hit the fan.
feistygyal Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 don't date co-workers. it's generally a bad idea. the girl who scratched your back was acting inappropriately. if you went up to a *girl* at work and scratched her back, she'd probably report you for harrassment. tread carefully.
seamaid Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 I'm dating a coworker. From my experience the plus to dating a coworker is that you can see him/her every day and it feels very exciting and special at first (if you fall in love), but the downside is that it is very likely to drive you crazy. I know that it is no longer as easy to concentrate on work, and especially now that the others know (including the boss) it has gotten extremely difficult to ever talk to him on just a friendly basis without raising eyebrows. It is very hard on me to see him interacting with others in his usual friendly way and then have to avoid me to avoid being reprimanded. I always take it personally, even though I know I shouldn't. In other words it has gotten ten times harder simply because everyone knows (it would have been easier to sneak a conversation or two quite innocently if no one suspected). He and I are deeply in love and respect each other equally so I can't tell you just how miserable it would get if a breakup were to happen. I imagine it would be very difficult to stay at the same workplace then. So, if you do choose to get into a relationship with a coworker, take precautions and only do it if you think you can handle all the possible negative consequences. Good luck.
westernxer Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 When you're together in the work place and things are going well, all you have to worry about is jealousy. When it ends, all you have to worry about is everything.
CurvyGurl Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Werd. Never eat where you poo. IE don't fish off the company dock. In other words, don't date coworkers! It might work out... and then it might turn into an ugly nasty mess. I'd only do it if that person worked in another department, on another floor.
johnnysparks Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Never eat where you poo. IE don't fish off the company dock. In other words, don't date coworkers! My personal favorite is: Never stick your pen in the company ink... That sort of thing usually ends badly, and sometimes with more than hurt feelings, try unemployment if it really gets out of hand. J.
AlmostMarried77 Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Never did me any harm... although I wouldn't exactly call what happened any of those times dating
alphamale Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Is it generally wrong to date coworkers, yes i would say its not a good idea to "dip your pen in the company ink". Here is the general rule LOSTJEFF: if you enjoy your job and like getting a regular paycheck then find your dates outside your place of employ.
alphamale Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 When it ends, all you have to worry about is everything. everything squared is more like it WEST...
Author MarcoInaros Posted November 24, 2005 Author Posted November 24, 2005 is that you should not date coworkers because you will see each other regardless if it works out or not, whether you want to see each other or not, making the situation extremely uncomfortable. However, your rule would include any setting in which you see another person on a regular basis. You should not meet girls in classes (at school), or at the gym, or anywhere else you visit frequently. In fact, according to your rule, one should only look for potential dates in places where they would never have to see each other, such as on the internet, or maybe a chance meeting in public like in a bar, or on the street, or grocery store. I don't know guys, I am leaning on the side of if you meet someone attractive and the feeling is mutual, you should get together regardless of circumstances.
LN8840K Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 do you think being unemployed is a good idea ... don't dip the pen in company ink, only bad can come from this
phyrespryte Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 is that you should not date coworkers because you will see each other regardless if it works out or not, whether you want to see each other or not, making the situation extremely uncomfortable. I think there's more to it than that. Personally I think that if you don't care about your job then go for it. Like if you're in highschool working at McDonald's part-time. But if this is your career then you shouldn't mess around. It's not that the situation is uncomfortable, it's just that things can get real ugly. I think someone mentioned sexual harassment earlier. Who's to say she won't get angry and seek revenge? Plus if there is a company policy against employees dating then you could get fired. Then when you try to find another job you'll be real screwed. Because you'll lose a recommendation and you'll have to explain why you got fired.
Author MarcoInaros Posted November 25, 2005 Author Posted November 25, 2005 Dude, I work in a low wage retail job. I don't care, and nothing will happen.
AlmostMarried77 Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 Dude, I work in a low wage retail job. I don't care, and nothing will happen. Who gives a crap then? Might as well go for it
RecordProducer Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 LOL any more opinions? Okay, you asked a simple question that required a yes-or-no answer. The guys said "no" and you're asking for more opinions! Your co-workers won't have to deal with the consequences, you will. How will you feel if she turns you down, for example? What if it boils down to one intercourse? She will feel used and hateful towards you. What if you date for a while and one of you ends up broken-hearted? I am not saying you shouldn't risk anything in life, but make sure you risk for the right thing (woman, in this case). It also depends on the job; if you don't intend to work there for long then who cares? IMHO, you better get to know her well and make sure the chemistry is mutual and irresistable before you make any move. Work place is not a dating agency. You don't come to work to click, wink, and go out together.
CoolAunt Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 Dating from work is like ****ting on your own front porch. I dated a coworker once and I'll never, never do that again. I was the dumpee in that relationship and, as hurt as I was, I had to continue seeing him almost every day in the office. We didn't work together or even in the same dept, but he was around just the same. And seeing him every day made getting over him take much more time and cause more pain than it would have had he not been there in my 9-5 world. I've since come to believe that the workplace makes a great escape or distraction from our personal problems and dramas. I certainly don't want to mess that up by creating personal problems and dramas at work.
westernxer Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 You can always switch gyms or rearrange your class schedule. Finding another job is a different story. However, you must be pretty young if you're working in retail.
madisonian Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 Don't date supervisors, subordinates, TAs or students, ever. It's a really bad idea. I'm in graduate school and know TAs who have gotten in trouble for dating their friends' students. As for workplace dating, do not have, pursue, or even consider one-night stands. My advice is to become friends with her first. If you consider her a serious marriage candidate, and can get another well-paying job in event of disaster, go for it. If you just have a crush, or find her cute, then it's not worth the risk, but for a potential life partner I'd say that it is. So become friends with her and find out just how much you like her.
ANUEME Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 Sorry lostjeff...continue with the bar scene its a wee bit safer. Plus if you end up not liking her you don't have to look at her face everyday.
johan Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 I've done it a couple times. I doubt I'd do it again. I try not to say "never", because under certain circumstances I might pursue someone I meet through work. But I think it's a really bad decision. Everyone here has already pointed out the reasons I think so. And from what I experienced, I generally lose respect for people I see hook up at the office. - I don't want to watch the "mating ritual" while I'm trying to work. - Everyone has to deal with their crappy productivity because they're visiting together, emailing or IMing to each other all the time, taking long lunches, leaving early, etc. - And they end up doing everything together, sitting next to each other in meetings, showing up at company functions together, etc. - There are all the secret looks and inside jokes I have to ignore while I'm trying to be professional. - It stokes the office gossip mill, and even customers pick up on it. - Not to mention the trauma of the breakup. It's just a lot of soap opera crap I don't want to deal with. If you could do it without any of the above happening, then I'd say go for it.
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