la_luna Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 The boyfriend has spent the entire 6 month relationship living and partying off his girlfriend's student loan. He's been far from proactive in looking for work, but his girlfriend puts this down to his very low self esteem. However, when her birthday came around, he, having no money told her he would spend the day before looking for money on the streets in order to buy a present. In the evening he has failed to return as promised, she receives a call from his friend, claiming he visited in a terrible state, very upset about having failed to find anything. The friend urges her to call him and tell him it doesn't matter. She doesn't. When he eventually returns, she explains that it's the the thought that counts...but because even the immenence of her birthday had failed to spur him into finding work, he would have to leave the house, as her housemates were losing patience. She tells him it seems it is the only way he can take control of his life from now on. He is remorseful but has trouble thinking up an alternative so asks her, she suggests he call a house meeting and set a deadline to find work (it's true that with some effort he can find on within a few days). Although it daunts him, he agrees it is the best plan. He writes her a poem in a romantic birthday card, but the chocolates he buys her (or are provided by his friend) are inedible and 3 years out of date. she laughs and thanks him anyway. Next day he stays overnight with his friend, who left for work at 8am. He gets up at mid day and logs onto the computer chat room. (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: why've you got to postpone the meeting? Officer Leroy says: cos A and K probably won't be there til 8.30ish (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: oh, yeah, that's okay. .............. (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: it's pointless signing out of myspace because of me, by the way... Officer Leroy says: right ............ (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: what you up to today? Officer Leroy says: same as yesterday really ............. (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: cant remember...? Officer Leroy says: no (E-mail Address Not Verified)says: no, i cant! what did you do?! Officer Leroy says: surfed ze net and applied for jobs therein, but didn't go out and look. today i plan to go out and look (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: cool. but you don't have a CV there do you? Officer Leroy says: arse (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: tsk ..................... .................. (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: right..... (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: well im going. got work to do, and you've got more. Officer Leroy says: yes ................. (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: what time will you be home dyou think? Officer Leroy says: i'll probably walk most of the way, so i dunno. before eastenders (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: ok. ............. (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: ...please dont waste any more time J. i love you X Officer Leroy says: yez bozz. i love you too (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: im not your effing boss. YOU ARE .................... .................. (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: do u think i should type up a load more letters for you? Officer Leroy says: what, the general ones? (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: no. book shops...music shops...whatever Officer Leroy says: if you've time that would be great, yeah ................ (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: ok as long as you're doing your 'bit'. .............. ................ (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: J? Officer Leroy says: yeah ................. (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: a ****ing thank you wouldnt go amiss. Officer Leroy says: ****ing thankyou ............. (E-mail Address Not Verified) says: **** you Officer Leroy says: ok ............. Officer Leroy logs off. err....discuss!
d'Arthez Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 No point to discuss, if I understand it correctly. She is doing all the work to get him a job, and he will be complaining that "she" will not be doing his hours. Partying and low self esteem are a problem. You cannot solve the problem, by not addressing it - which he has not done for 6 months. He is using the money of her, to spend his time as he likes. And applying for a job as CEO of IBM will not work, if he does not have qualifications for that. And if he has no luck for 6 months (which can be doubted, because he may not even really tried to apply seriously), he should consider going a few bars lower, in order to get a job. Even if it is way below his level of education. Air cannot pay bills, cannot pay for food and drinks. Money can - and one way to get it himself is to get a job. I would be wary to say the least to continue the relationship.
westernxer Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 The girlfriend has low self-esteem by putting up with this. To think that he's using her student loan money to party when she'll have to pay that back is despicable. Why is she (you, la_luna) letting him do this? He doesn't look for work because he's a loser. Stop making excuses for him.
Author la_luna Posted November 24, 2005 Author Posted November 24, 2005 thanks guys... i've put up with it because i had faith that ultimately he'd grow up and do the right thing - he had seemed genuinely lost and is generally a caring and intelligent guy (although quite uncommunicative) true, i have self esteem issues too, but i think i'm winning the everyday battle. i'm not blind to what he's doing, or particularly afraid to be alone, it takes a lot of patience and self assurance to deal with our situation. he just contacted me without reference to our previous 'discussion', to tell me he has an interview tomorrow. i had the thankless task of typing and printing his CVs and letters to get there though. After his attitude this morning, i decided not to print anything out for him. I hope he gets the job and derives enough self confidence to be more respectful / grateful, but it seems he's definitely on a slippery slope to a lonely loserdom
westernxer Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Kick him to the curb, already. You've got a heart of gold... find a guy who can appreciate this.
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