can i allow myself to love again

[snipit3172]

it has been 14 months since me and ex split up he called it off and i still think about him every day when i wake up and every night when i go to bed

its really hard trying to get over him we was only together for 3 months but it was best relationship i have ever been in he treated me how i deserved to be treated people say i should move on

 

yes i hate being single and lonely but i would rather have that than risk getting my heart broken all over again i have spent the last 13 years of my life getting over exes and swearing never to let it happen to me again

 

im not sure if my heart could take it its like everytime i meet someone i give them a piece of my heart but i need some of my heart for myself and if i give some away again i think if anything happened again id die everyone i know have been in really long relationsjhips so have not had their heart broken over and over again and they think its easy to move on

 

but i cannot do it im not strong enough im really not

[JS17]

I feel the same way (except that I don't think about him every day when I wake up). Taking a break from dating has really helped me to regroup though. I'm not there yet but I feel like there is hope ahead someday and that maybe with enough time I will be able to open myself up to someone again.

 

Is it the holidays that's making you feel down? I know that as much as I dislike my ex I kind of miss him tonight....ok, I don't miss him but I miss being with someone. Is it the being with him or being with someone that bothers you?

[snipit3172]

its him i miss not just anyone i have a friend who is an ex from years ago who would like to try again but i just cannot even imagine dating anyone ever even foe a bit of fun im not like that

[JS17]

So why not spend time with this ex and not think about a "relationship"? Maybe you can think of it more in terms of friendship and see if anything happens from there.

[snipit3172]

he is actually my best friend sort of i see him about 3 times a week and speak on phone most nights but he was there for me when my ex broke up with me i think me and him will be friends for life i just dont see anything else happening with us

[JS17]

why not? clearly he cares about you so it doesn't seem like he would hurt you...not intentionally at least.

[snipit3172]

i love him to bits but only as a friend and yes i know he would never intentionally hurt me but even tho he says hed like to try i dont know if he really could you see i met him just over 3 yeatrs ago he had 2 years previously split from his wife and had not dated anyone then i met him we was friends for a couple of months then we got together and i was with him for 6 months and i fell for him then he brike my heart by calling it off cos he could not ciope with a relationship its 2 and a half years since we split and he has never met anyone i cannot hate him for breaking my heart cos i knew his head was a mess and so we just became friens seeing as we were friends before any thing else so i dont really think he trusts himself to have a relationship maybe thats wheat puts me off as well i dont know also there is the fact of my familt hate him cos he broke my heart and think im silly for still being friends with him but he is the nicest person you could hope to meet its just a mess really anyway thanks for your advice cheers it helps

[JS17]

I'm sorry, I'm not being very helpful. Maybe you just need some time on your own to heal.

[snipit3172]

you have been helpful at least you have replied i hardly ever get any replies for my threads on here good luck with your situatuion as well

[JS17]

Honestly, your posts on this thread were kind of hard to read. You might get more responses if you use some punctuation.

 

I hope you start to feel better soon.

[snipit3172]

thanks for the advice, or should i say tip.