consumed Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 I don't know where to begin other then to say today feels like the first day of the breakup again. From the second I got up until now I havn't felt any happiness at all. At work my ex was in my thoughts, going home, and at home. The afternoon was expesically a downer because noone was home. I could hear a pin drop but it's at times like that when I really relize how things are. The sun sets, it gets dark, its freezing outside and it's like the shock kicks in again like it just happened yesterday. 3 wks ago she was there when I came home, always there to talk to at nights, tv/movies, outings and whatever but now I can hear a pin drop and the feeling of alone..it kills me. I don't even know where she's staying now, I don't even know when I'll talk to her next, I don't even know what she's been up to and how's she doing/coping. Most nights recently anyways Im affraid to go out incase she calls. I thought work would really help and on occations it does but for the most part she's in my mind all the time when Im at work. I wanna go out tonite to see some friends but Im stopped because of the hope that she may call. Talking on the phone doesn't help I know it give's false hope but I just get worried about leaving and her calling. I should go out tonite though after feeling like this all day today. And when are the dreams going to stop...
Tiny Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Oh God the times i've been there, keep hoping, and trying, as hard as it is, something will happen to bring some light into your life.
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 i nkow exactly how you feel, its been 3 months for me...and these past cuple of days have felt liek the first time me and eh broke up....it really sucks i know the pain that you feel...the weather...makes it so much worse...makes everything feel so hazy /// but you gota get out and do something dont hope that she will call... was this a mutual break up??/
Author consumed Posted November 24, 2005 Author Posted November 24, 2005 Not really. I mean I knew she was ending things 2 wks before she did because she wanted me to go back to my city and make a life for myself but I had no choice in staying even though I asked her alot to let me. My original thread is here with the story. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t74790/
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 well im sorry your goin through such pain, im going through the same exact thing and feel the same way you do actually....it will get bumpy have you gone through this before? just wondering
Author consumed Posted November 24, 2005 Author Posted November 24, 2005 I've gone through a breakup before but this is the first time I've lived with someone and it makes it sooo much harder because now they are gone, and only a short time ago they were always there. Also Im not worried about staying home incase she calls because I can always call her back. The thing I worry about is that my mom really doesn't favour her, and even talking to my mom telling her not to say anything if she calls, I know if she calls she probably won't call again ever, and it also makes me worried she won't want to talk to me. Thats why I'm affriad to go out incase she calls.
taylor3205 Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 I felt so positive yesterday evening....now I feel exactly like you do. Although I have given up on waiting for him to call. Every single little part of my life reminds me of him. I cant get away from it..........and the feeling inside is just indescribable.....Im sure everyone on here knows what I mean. I miss him so much. Its night times and mornings that are worst. And the dreams. I now know the meaning of the word 'heartache', and the feeling. I hate it. I dont even want to start thinking of where he may be or my imagination will run riot. I know when I will see him next, but I know it wont be for long and I know he will walk out of that door and could go anywhere with anyone......and that I am no longer a part of his life in the way I was. Its the thought of a future without him also, get tear in my eye just thinking of it. I hate the way things have worked out................I am gutted!!!!
malachai Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 i konw where you coming from...my ex-gf was living with me, and when it ended, i'm the one has to go home to the empty space. i wish i had been the one living with her, cause then whenever i went home, i wouldn't have to face all the associations my place has with her. when i sit down in my living room, i just keep looking at the couch next to me and see a space that should be filled by her. it's gut-wrenching. i just rearranged my bedroom today, and i think it might help when i go to bed tonight. i will be looking at my room from a different point of view, and it won't have the familiarity of before. i've also started sleeping on her side of the bed. i know that probably seems trivial, but it has helped a little bit.
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 i know its sad, maybe its a good thing me and my ex were always going to his house...i think the mornings are the worst....or when you wake up because thats when it hits you again...and honestly you feel like PURE CRAp i cant describe it but im sure both of you know exactly what im talking about...im trying to be happy on thanks giving i dont want to shed a tear for him....hes not worth it. but it is incredibly hard....now you just pay attention to all those songs that seem like there to you.....and your like dang( for the ones who write there own music) they went through it to....every one does.... it does suck but happy thanks giving:)
scobro Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 What is it with this week??????I feel like crap too.It feels like the first few weeks all over again and its been3 months.I was up feeling so sad last night and then that turned into anger at my ex I even wrote a letter which I did not send just to calm me down this absolutely is hell you feel like you are going crazy and there is no future hapiness in sight.Its a lonely feeling and I know its not right but I wish my ex was feeling this but I know she isn't.Why does everything workout so perfect for the dumpers and the dumpees get gutted.It sure isn't fair.
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 What is it with this week??????I feel like crap too.It feels like the first few weeks all over again and its been3 months.I was up feeling so sad last night and then that turned into anger at my ex I even wrote a letter which I did not send just to calm me down this absolutely is hell you feel like you are going crazy and there is no future hapiness in sight.Its a lonely feeling and I know its not right but I wish my ex was feeling this but I know she isn't.Why does everything workout so perfect for the dumpers and the dumpees get gutted.It sure isn't fair. its been 3 months for me, and it has felt like the first cuple of weeks... i think it gets better after it gets really bad.....the weather also...it makes things different...more cozy? it really is a rollercoaster ride...well it just says it right there it was perfect for the dumpers, because they are the ones who no longer want to be with you......but everyone gets there heartaches in life in GOOD PEOPLE LIKE ME:-D jk
wendel1 Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Yes, I have to agree this does suck...Its been 3 months since my g/f split with me and she's been in a new relationship for 2 months. It is tough to think of another guy with my ex..I think my pain has turned to jealousy a bit....although our relationship was a LDR...I am living 2000 miles away (so it was doomed from the start really) Screw it... I'm getting the guitar out and turning the amp up to 11! Lets mosh! F*&K the neighbours! Its time to ROCK!
Sloppy Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 YEP, holiday season officially sucks! I think that is the reason why so many of us have been feeling so shi*ty lately. You guys hang in there, it is gonna get better again! For all of us!
In Sync Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 I woke up today with the same feeling I had immediately after he broke it off. Sort of a sinking pit feeling..that it's all over. Been trying to push these feelings back, holding them at bay...and now it's having those dumb urges to call him. Stupid inner voice is saying go ahead drop him a line. See what happens. That would be sooo dumb if I did. Common sense prevails. I'm not enjoying this roller coaster ride. I'm tired of crying and hurting. Do you realize I still anticipate waiting for some kind of apology from him.
Sloppy Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Sorry InSync. Is there any way that you could accept no apology? I have a feeling that's what's bugging you the most and keeping you being hurt. I know what you mean though. I found my self hopeful again. Like your common sense, mine is telling me to leave him alone and work his things out with his W and C, but darn it, I miss him so bad. I got my self into position where I am the one who needs to apologize now. Not sure what to do. I was hoping this was over for me, but I struggle so much! Now that I have hope again, I am back in square one. Don't drop him a line, you will find your self waiting for an answer and hurt more.
wendel1 Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Yep.....NC all the way....DEF for today anyways
WhoAmI Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 What usually gets me is if I think about my wife first thing in the morning, then my day is shot. Even if I can hold off for 30 seconds then the day is not so bad. I had one of those wake up at 3:30 in the morning days again. Instantly I thought of my wife - and then her complete dismissal of me - and then her boyfriend. My day has sucked so far. Like a yo-yo I think of the things I would like to say to her. From one extreme to the other. Hold on - be strong and wait to "what you've done and are doing is despicable", etc. To things I've done wrong...gah, it has been probably four months now. Seems like it will never end because I don't know how (or want to) give up hope.
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 well seems like were all in that 3 months 4 months stage,....and it still sucks! but everyone says it will get better...and im sure it will good luck guys
chocolate_boy Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 Yes, I have to agree this does suck...Its been 3 months since my g/f split with me and she's been in a new relationship for 2 months. It is tough to think of another guy with my ex..I think my pain has turned to jealousy a bit....although our relationship was a LDR...I am living 2000 miles away (so it was doomed from the start really) Screw it... I'm getting the guitar out and turning the amp up to 11! Lets mosh! F*&K the neighbours! Its time to ROCK! I think living so far away could benefit you though, I had my ex spend friday night kissing me and holding my hands and on a date with me, before turning cold on me again and looking me in the eye and telling me she doesn't love me or want to be with me. Then last night she's at my next door neighbors house again (they're friends) with her car outside my house. I'm seriously considering quitting my job and upping and leaving town now cos of it.. damn.
Gottabestrong Posted November 27, 2005 Posted November 27, 2005 I truely know how you guys are feeling. It's been the same way for me this last few days/weeks. Thing is though, he broke up with me 14!!! months ago! I am feeling so pathetic for still being so hurt after so much time. It really does get better with time, I am feeling 1000 times better than a year ago, but I am still not over him and that sucks. It's been NC for over 8 months now, but he is still on my mind 24/7. I think this depression must be linked to the weather and I really have to fly somewhere warm and sunny, if only for a few days.
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