mattea Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 so i'm back on the dating scene after a string of bad relationships. i've picked myself up, brushed myself off and i'm putting myself out there again. i'll be the first to admit i don't know WHAT i'm doing when it comes to dating. who does? i need some help! so i've been on a few "dates" with someone. i started by asking him, then he asked me - i feel we've shown pretty equal interest and initiative. last time he invited me to his place after and i went for a bit. i've had a nice time with him, but there is a bit of nervousness and awkwardness when we're together. i thought maybe it was because there was this unspoken attraction but neither one of us really knows for sure what the other person is thinking? is this a date? is he seeing anyone else? he is attracted to me? there has been no kissing yet but hugs good-bye... a very "friendly" thing to do i guess. last time he squeezed my hand after the hug. now i've sent him an email letting him know that i have a good time hanging out with him but that i'm a little uneasy and i think it's because there's an attraction on my part but i don't know what he's thinking or if he's seeing anyone. well, he's out of town and has not responded for several days. it seems likely that he's checking email, although i'm not certain. it was a bit hard to put myself out there the way i did... required some vulnerability but seemed like the right thing to do to start a dialouge and i'd hoped it would help us both get a better understanding of what the other was thinking. but now that there has been no response i am wondering... did i make a mistake!?
curiousnycgirl Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 How can open communication be a mistake? I think what you did was totally brave and not at all wrong. Let's review your options: 1. He's feeling the same way and you've opened the dialogue - YIPPEE 2. He gets weirded out and never answers you - well then you've learned he's an unworthy a**h*** and that you are fortunate not to have wasted any more time 3. He doesn't reciprocate the feelings, and now that you've opened the door - he can tell you. You have either made a good friend, or again learned a critical piece of information before wasting too much time. I think it's all good - may not be nice to hear, but good. Plus you should really be so proud of yourself for being so brave!
Yamaha Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Disclosing how you feel is always a good idea. If the other party can't handle your honesty then it is best to know now and find someone more suited to your personality. You did nothing wrong so don't be hard on yourself. Most people prefer someone who voices their thoughts than those who can't express their feelings.
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