lilian Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 Hi Theoretically I'm a lucky chick as I'm marrying a great guy next year. The thing is that he's English and I'm not, which means I'm not by any means familiar with this STUPID stag night tradition. My fiancé has been on quite a few stag nights recently as all his friends are getting married. A few of them were even abroad (Ibiza, etc). When I tell him my worries, he just laughs and says that girlfriends shouldn't get so worked up about them. But then again: where do all these stupid sentences like "what goes on a stag stays on a stag" etc. come from?? Is it really your last night of freedom??!! Quite clearly, my boyfriend's last night of freedom was the night before we started going out and NOT his stag! Please let me into the secret of stag nights. I won't tell anyone that you told me ;-) thank you darlings!
centered Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 Most of the of the parties are harmless. This is just a ritual that men have created for themselves as an excuse to bond and keep their friendships alive after losing their bachelorhood. I think if the guy is in his 20's and likes to play wild, it's more likely the party will be completely crazy. An all-night event of debauchery, drinking, strippers and maybe a prostitute to give him a blowjob (or more). Again, this is if he's the wild type *already* and a true "bad boy." (Such a man is unlikely to be marrying anytime soon.) If the guy is young, but more thoughtful and shy, his buddies may make more of a game out of just trying to embarass him on his last night of "freedom." Older guys tend to be more mature (thank goodness) and are more likely to go drinking, see a show, and talk about their war stories in the bedroom, their concerns, and share advice. Basically, he is who is he is. The stag party won't change him. If you plan to get married, you should already know him well enough to trust him and know what he's likely to do. His friends *will* try to embarass him -- it's a male bonding ritual to see if they can get him to react -- but if you trust him, trust him. Guys are different from us -- it's part of their appeal -- and they have different rituals. But when they *truly* love you, they will take care not to hurt you or cross the line. Trust him if you love him. Love and trust with no strings attached is a great gift to a man, and a man tends to feel protective of his woman when the feelings are true and deep.
Author lilian Posted November 23, 2005 Author Posted November 23, 2005 wow, thank you centered. that was a really nice reply. Of course, it is somewhat what I wanted to hear :-) but you did seem to put quite a bit of thought into it. Luckily, my boyfriend is a bit "older" (33) and hasn't disappointed me in three years of relationship. I have just built up this fear of the stag night as I'm not familiar with the custom and it all sounds so wild and horrible. but I guess, as you said, he won't become a completely different person on his stag ....
alphamale Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 Most of the of the parties are harmless. most of them are innocuous but i went to one abut 15 yrs ago where lots of coke was going around and there were strippers turning tricks in the bedroom and porn movies, etc...
centered Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 wow, thank you centered. that was a really nice reply. Of course, it is somewhat what I wanted to hear :-) but you did seem to put quite a bit of thought into it. Luckily, my boyfriend is a bit "older" (33) and hasn't disappointed me in three years of relationship. I have just built up this fear of the stag night as I'm not familiar with the custom and it all sounds so wild and horrible. but I guess, as you said, he won't become a completely different person on his stag .... You're welcome, Lilian. Like you, I was once asking the same questions, and had some nice friends to reassure me. Now it's my turn. As for Alphamale's response, just remember that *he's* one of those "bad boys" I mentioned, so I'm not surprised the parties he knows about are the wilder kind. It sounds like your Honey is a keeper, and, no, he won't change because of one night of bonding with his guy friends. Good luck with your future together!
933KJL Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 ALPHA and CENTERED.....the Grand Leader of Testosterone hereby thanks you for keeping the secret safe. As to the OP, did you or are you haveing a bachelorette party? Did your fiance declare that STUPID? Personally, I would have to think twice about marrying a person who claims that it is not a stag party that represents his last night af freedom, but the NIGHT BEFORE WE STARTED GOING OUT. What the F? Marraige is not about claiming anothers freedom like some sortof big game on a safari. If he senses this, or his blokes do, I would not be surprised if a stag party for him did get out of hand.
slubberdegullion Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Stag parties usually involve going to church and singing in the choir, visiting the elderly in the hospital, collecting stuffed toys for children and listening to Christian music.
Pendawn Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Stag nights/weekends may vary but generally they all have one thing in common - lots and lots of alchohol. Pub crawls, sessions, any way of getting large amounts of booze into the groom to be. There is often a lot of leering of girls and chatting them up. There may be lap dancers and strippers. There may be practical jokes played on the groom - either drink related (making him drink some weird mix of crap) or waiting till he gets really drunk and then doing stuff like shaving his eyebrows, stripping him naked and tying him to a lamppost etc.
AlmostMarried77 Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Most Hen nights in the UK are far worse than the Stag nights. Infact most bars and clubs will only allow one hen party in to the bar at anyone time. And the bride to be is generally the easiest girl of the bunch to pull
zara Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 As a lapdancer i've dealt with more than my fair share of stag parties and Centered is right in that it really all depends on what type of guy he is! There does seem to be an increasing trend here in England for people to go out of the country and lots head for places like Prague the Cheq republic or Amsterdam where they can induge in cheap beer, cheap drugs and cheap prostitutes (strange how men who say they would never sleep with a prostitute here in the UK somehow leave the country and go for it!). If he's that type then he will, if not then you're marrying a good un. You should have a Hen Night - the female equivalent - and get your girlfriends together for a night of drinking and games (giving each other dares to do such as collecting a strangers underwear and and convincing a stranger to kiss your feet are a few that spring to mind). I can't imagine anyone who marries me wanting a stag night that involves lapdancers though - bit pointless really! lol - possibly a nice trip to church and a game of bingo for the future Mr Zara!
NatoPMT Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Lilian - Have you asked him what he intends to do on his stag night and what he will allow his friends to arrange? Zara's post made me think. If he wants to do something you dont feel happy about - offer to do it for him yourself - if he wants to go to a strip club, offer to dance for him instead. Or offer to dress in a wig and play the prostitute for him. 933KJL - that was a bit harsh - since he met her, shes quite right, he shouldnt have had sexual contact with anyone else. If being able to have sex with anyone is called 'freedom' then its a misnomer. BB
933KJL Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 933KJL - that was a bit harsh - since he met her, shes quite right, he shouldnt have had sexual contact with anyone else. If being able to have sex with anyone is called 'freedom' then its a misnomer. We were not necessarily talking about sex. As a matter of fact most of the posts indicate that it is drinking and carousing and ogling women. But she is the one that said that his last night of freedom was the night before they started to go out. I didn't!
NatoPMT Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 True, but i took her post to mean that she was concerned about sexual contact, oogling could be deemed that even if its not physical contact, many women feel strippers to be inappropriate. She wrote it before the other posts were written as she didnt know what the stag party might entail. Also, I thought it was a bit harsh because stag night cliches include the phrase 'last night of freedom' as well as 'what happens at the stag party, stays at the stag party'. Thats part of the male mythology that marriage = end of freedom, shes quoting what shes been told possibly i dont think she was being unreasonable - just MHO
alphamale Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 What the F? Marraige is not about claiming anothers freedom like some sortof big game on a safari. unfortunately, 933JKL...from a female perspective it is all about that.
NatoPMT Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 unfortunately, 933JKL...from a female perspective it is all about that. Maybe the females you associate with. Not most of the ones i know.
alphamale Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Maybe the females you associate with. Not most of the ones i know. ahh don't gimme that krap BIGBLEM, you and I both know what its all about. The unwritten "deal" in marriage is that the woman gives the man regular sex (supposedly) and feeds and clothes him and has his kids and he provides for the family and gives up his freedom. That is basically marriage in a nutshell
jayteresa Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Basically most English blokes end up so sh*t faced early on in the evening that they are incapable of doing the dirty, the worst to happen would probably his mates stripping him naked and tying him to a lamp post!
NatoPMT Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Alpha - I need wellies to even attempt to respond lest i slip in the puddle of testosterone forming around your posts
lindya Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 Alpha - I need wellies to even attempt to respond lest i slip in the puddle of testosterone forming around your posts If you tread on anything squishy don't worry. It's all just BS.
wendel1 Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 A good indicator is who the best man is, cos he's the one that usually will organise the event and 'look after' the groom. Probably involve a lot of alcohol and your husband to be passing out
Author lilian Posted November 30, 2005 Author Posted November 30, 2005 Thank you guys for your answers! I quite like the best man and wouldn't believe that he would want my fiancé to do anything stupid. Big Belm: thank you for trying and clarify for me. I did indeed mean that I expected my boyfriend not to SLEEP with anyone else from the day we started going out. He can have as much FREEDOM as he like otherwise. like hanging out with his buddies, getting drunk, doing sports. I'm not a controlling person. But I'm his only shag (even when he's a stag :-) I've been worried sick be the whole idea as I really don't know the tradition and really never knew how bad they are. And fact is that guys who've been on stags won't ever tell you what happen. I've been cheated on by my ex-boyfriend and have lost all my trust in men. Which is an absolute pity as my fiancé hasn't given me reason to doubt in four years. But I already doubt him when he comes home five minutes late so don't know how to survive his stag. but he's been a good bloke since I've known him so I don't think he'll turn into a different person just because it's his stag do. thanks for your answers :-)
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