MnkyGirl Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 So my bf broke up with me the weekend before Halloween, packed his stuff and moved out. He said he needs to be single, isn't going to date anyone, needs to figure out his issues. He has held up to all those so far and it has been almost 4 weeks. I was worried there was another woman at first but there isn't, I confirmed it. He doesn't even go out anymore, he sits at home and watches tv or plays on the computer...I go out and get hit on by his friends and everyone else but I know the deal and it doesn't work. I am still in love with him and wouldn't even think about being with anyone else at the moment. Last friday was his 32 birthday, he called to see if I would drive him to the bars and stuff so he could get drunk. I didn't have a problem with it, we decided to remain friends. I drove him around and it was a good time, except he was all over me...kept trying to kiss me, made a few comments at the bar "all these guys want to F you, if any of them try to F you I will kill them" really loud so a lot of people heard. I asked him if he was having second thoughts and he said no, he wanted me but with no commitment, basically he is still looking to have sex with no commitment...that isn't going to happen. I am a single mom with 2 kids and I want a man in my life, I don't want to be a booty call. He also gets angry that I go out...he gets frustrated that I don't sit at home like he does. I just don't get it...what is he thinking? he knows I am in love with him...why does he need time alone? his friends say he is scared of commitment...well he has been with me for a year...why now? Do any of you think men can overcome being afraid of commitment? Do you think men can actually accept a woman even though they are scared to? Do you think that he will eventually come back to me and I should just keep on hanging out but not date anyone? how long should I do that for? I figure a couple months... I am asking men now....if you had feelings for someone but were scared to commit, yet you still hit on her and still wanted her in other ways...what would it take to overcome being afraid? I am giving him time and space to figure himself out...at the same time I am enjoying myself and having fun, just not taking that step of dating...yet
temptris33 Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 I'm kind of going through something vaguely similar. I have kids and want a man in my life as well...one that wants the entire package. I'm not interested in dating anyone else either for now. He just told me that he wants space to figure out if he wants to be with someone with kids. We've been together for over two years. He's 27 me 37. Then he calls and tells me he loves me and wants to be with me "but doesn't know". This has happened each night. We haven't seen eachother for two days. So, although I'm not sure that I have the answer for you...maybe we can try to figure it out just by talking to each other.
temptris33 Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 even sounds like he just knows how you feel and he knows he can keep you wrapped around his pinky..He might think of you as his "property" still even though you aren't together. It sounds like he wants to be able to do what ever he wants to whenever he wants without a g/f UNTIL he really needs something then he knows that you'll do it for him. I'm sorry if I sounded rude..that's not my intention. It sucks to be confused about ANYTHING...I know I am....
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