downcydeguy Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 My ex moved to Spain in August to study abroad for 4 months. She'll be back in a month. We were together for 2 1/2 years at that point. The problem, of course, is that she broke it off after 2 months there. The only explanation I got was that she changed and isn't "in love" with me anymore. I haven't heard from her since. My question is: have any of you had experience with studying abroad and what changes do you go through? Maybe your gf/bf did it. How did they change? Did you or your gf/bf come back and things worked out? Does she actually think that she can end it, then come home 2 months later and never have to see or hear from me again? Isn't 2 1/2 years in a great relationship worth the respect of some sort of explanation?
a4a Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 Does she actually think that she can end it, then come home 2 months later and never have to see or hear from me again? Isn't 2 1/2 years in a great relationship worth the respect of some sort of explanation? It sucks that she did this..... But of course SHE can expect to never have contact with you again. Because you had a relationship does not mean that she has to deal with you ever again. Sorry that this happened. a4a
d'Arthez Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 Does she actually think that she can end it, then come home 2 months later and never have to see or hear from me again? It can happen. Given the way she treated you I would not be surprised if it would happen. And someone who is not willing to explain to their (former)SO why they are doing things like these, do not deserve a second chance, IMO. What would you gain, if she actually agreed to speak to you? An explanation? Are you going to believe whatever she is going to say? And if it is highly hurtful, will you be happy to know? No need to torture yourself with false knowledge. Try to move on, as hard as it is, without her. If you had mutual friends, they will be aware of what has happened, more or less. And probably her version of events and your version of events do not match. And people will figure out for themselves what must be true. Isn't 2 1/2 years in a great relationship worth the respect of some sort of explanation? To those of us, who handle relationships in a decent fashion the answer would be yes. To her the answer appears to be "no." That is her choice, and you cannot change that, as much as you would want it otherwise. Her loss, not yours.
Judas Christian Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 It sucks to be in your situation and I understand that you have strong feelings for her. Nonetheless, you're probably better off having this happen. What I mean is, if after only two months separation she broke it off, you're not likely to be able to count on her for much in the first place - particularly if she can't afford you an explanation. Now, what's done is done. She's broken it off with you, no explanation, nothing. Yes she will return, but don't bother with her. If she contacts you, deal with it then. Decide for yourself at that point whether she's worth the trouble. If she doesn't contact you, so be it. Move on with your life, though, now - don't wait until she returns to test the waters. Just move on and let the chips fall where they may - she may contact you, she may not. You may never get an explanation and I agree with previous posters - you won't be satisfied with it anyway.
LifeBound Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 my man d'Arthez pretty much summed it up. Write what he said and keep it in your pocket. Just one note of caution. If and when she does come back, she might choose to give you a pretty sincere sounding sob story. I don't know you personally and so i am going out on a limb here, but some men are emotionally weak and some woman are highly skilled in the art of 'woman magic' , and in the end her agenda is to use you like a puppet. Out of contact for 2 months? If she was confused, she would talk to you about it. Her action has clearly shown you what type of person she truelly is, stay away at all costs. be strong Sal
Outcast Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 some men are emotionally weak and some woman are highly skilled in the art of 'woman magic' , and in the end her agenda is to use you like a puppet. You could not be more correct. And I think a lot of men think they're too smart to be fooled by these schemes. OP, I agree with the rest. If she couldn't at least provide you with an explanation, then don't bother about her anymore. It's good you found out that she's capable of this sort of thing - imagine if you'd married her and then found it out! I expect she got caught up in the idea of the 'romance' of Europe and allowed some continental swain to sweep her up.
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