malachai Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 well, i had gone 15 days NC, after my ex dumped me about a month and a half ago. i was feeling better, able to watch tv, able to laugh with my co-workers, able to exercise and enjoy some things i used to like. i still thought about her everyday, but i wasn't breaking down as much, and i was starting to get my appetite back and sleeping better. well, she called me friday night and sunday day, once to my cell phone and once to my home phone, both times not leaving a message. both times i could've answered it, but i didn't. when she first called, i was super happy. i know that she wasn't the one for me, but it made feel really good. you see, i have no friends, and have never been in a relationship, so having someone's attention validates my life. sad but true. i'm in my late 20's, so it is a big deal. she called tonight, and i finally answered it. i knew i'd eventually answer her call, and i had planned out how i would act indifferent and positive. the usual chit-chat ensued, how've i been, what's been happening, and i came across as feeling good about my life. well, she said she had been meaning to ask me if i still had the pc i had been meaning to give her when we were together. i can't believe it. i was expecting something. even just a casual "i miss talking to you", or "i think about you", but calling to ask to buy my pc from me? just 2 months ago, this girl was saying that i was the most amazing thing that has ever happened to her. professing her love for me. saying how god had placed her in my life. how does that happen??????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i know i broke NC, but part of it was because only a week before we broke up, i had unprotected sex with her, and i've been living with a deep fear that she might have been pregnant. i thought the calls may have been about that. so i had to know. but now, i'm in shock, and i fear that i will be lower than i was right after the break up. which was on the brink. i don't know what to do. i am feeling a sinking feeling even as i write this. i think i may call her back because i'm absoulutley blown away by this. if anyone is reading this, i need some good words. my life sucks to begin with, this just might be the icing on the cake
stjärna Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 malachai, i definitely don't want to make excuses for her, because, quite frankly, she sounds remotely evil. but perhaps she misinterpreted your tone, since you said that you came off sounding fairly happy, and so brought up the PC issue . . . or could it have been an excuse to talk to you? without knowing the details of the breakup, that's hard to judge. sorry you're dealing with this . . . i wouldn't call her back though . . .
pippen_2k Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 She was your first love ( regardless of age ), so its gonna hurt. Life is gonna feel terrible and worthless for a little while, but hopefully you can take something away from this... You had made this girl happy, so there is no reason why you cant make someone else happy... Even tho your in your late 20's we all have to start somewhere... You will be all the more wiser in your next relationship! Oh and by the way.. Dont give her your computer!
Author malachai Posted November 23, 2005 Author Posted November 23, 2005 Oh and by the way.. Dont give her your computer! thanks for that i have been just walking around the last couple of hours in a daze. not sure what i can really do right now to make myself feel better. but every little thing helps i've been thinking the last couple of hours whether or not she loved me or not in the beginning. it'd make all the difference. i can deal with falling in love and then losing it, but if it was never there, i don't know how i could handle it. she said she used me when we broke up. but thinking about what she said and how she acted while we were together, i don't know anyone that could have pulled that off.
Author malachai Posted November 23, 2005 Author Posted November 23, 2005 malachai,i wouldn't call her back though . . . i didn't call her back. i'm so glad i didn't call her back.
cynicalnlove Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 malachai, i definitely don't want to make excuses for her, because, quite frankly, she sounds remotely evil. but perhaps she misinterpreted your tone, since you said that you came off sounding fairly happy, and so brought up the PC issue . . . or could it have been an excuse to talk to you? without knowing the details of the breakup, that's hard to judge. sorry you're dealing with this . . . i wouldn't call her back though . . . I agree with that. If I had called my ex and he made it seem like i had no effect, i would use that excuse. she probably called for curiosity sake, and you sounded perfectly well.. what is she suppose to do? profess her love while she thinks that you don't love her? Its hard to say. call her if you want to work it out, don't answer if you don't want to. It just prolongs the whole thing.
In Sync Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 Now you've proven to yourself how important NC is for your own sake. Don't break NC again. At least for 60 days to talk with her again and then at that point rethink if you should. Right now you've undone your good work as you were not emotionally ready to deal with her yet....Try not to replay the conversation like a bad video over and over.....otherwise you'll drive yourself nuts. See you're already analyzing the relationship after that call screwed you up...was it worth it breaking NC?
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