upintheair Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 Ok, I am new to all of this, but at times a stranger's advise is the most blunt advise you can get:) I have been best friends with a guy for over ten years. We have always been there for each other and make it apparent the person we are dating that our friendship is very important and will not be ended for another person. The people we have dated over the years have been very jealous of he or I due to how close our friendship is. Over the years my feelings for him have increased on and off and I did not realize how deep my feelings were until our ten year HS reunion. Everyone there wondered if we were a couple b/c we showed up together. I just never thought about it until I realized I liked the idea of being more than friends with him. But here is my problem..I have no idea how he feels. I have worked very hard to make sure he has no idea I care about him more than a friend through the years and he has done the same with me. But I know I am hiding my feelings, but I have no idea if he is doing the same due to he has feelings or he has picked up on my feelings. Most guys are easy to read b/c when they like you they will constantly compliment you, find reasons to touch you, say I love you, etc. But he hardly ever compliments me, but every time we are drunk he tells me he loves me. He stares, he hugs me tight, he does not like it when I talk about other guys, he asks about my sexual history when we are drinking and blames it on the alcohol, but he constantly tells me that he is trying to get back in touch with an old flame. I am about to go insane. And what topped it off, was he asked me to buy a house with him and then when I meet my future husband we will go from there. What the heck?? lol Did he add the husband line to hide his true feelings or to make sure I understood that he wanted this to be a platonic transaction. I am tired of trying to analyze it!! What do you guys think?
rd1978 Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 well i can tell you that i think your story sounds just like mine,,, everything sounds the same to a T..... neither of us admitted any feelings as in my mind that --- would change things,, when your comfortable with something sometimes you take it for granted,, and dont realize how much it means to you,, im thinking his mind is def wandering and if your curious about it,, make some moves,, im not saying jump on top of him and go to town ,, although he may like that? but push the boundries a little and see how he reacts to it,,, be a little more touchy and flirty ,, etc.etc. I would just take it from there,, im curious to see others comment's and fill us in on what happens,, good luck
slubberdegullion Posted November 25, 2005 Posted November 25, 2005 Men appreciate clarity & directness. Stop analyzing and make the move. Give him a kiss. A warm, moist, sensual kiss, gentle tongue action, with your body pressed up against him and your arms around him. When he takes a breath, kiss him again. Life rewards action. Go for it.
OneAmante Posted November 26, 2005 Posted November 26, 2005 slubberdegullion "Give him a kiss. A warm, moist, sensual kiss, gentle tongue action, with your body pressed up against him and your arms around him. When he takes a breath, kiss him again." Just out of curiosity Slubberdegullion how on earth do you just give a sensual kiss to someone who is not expecting it? Unless I am lacking some know how here usually to initiate a sensual kiss the other person usually has to return the feeling. Now if you are saying just kiss him fine, but I feel most woman are like myself in that the man usually makes the first move. If a woman was to initiate anything it would usually be just a simple kiss.
Outcast Posted November 26, 2005 Posted November 26, 2005 The easiest 'out' you can try in this situation is a nice vague question that commits neither of you to a decision: 'do you think we'd make a good couple'? or some variation thereof. He'll either say 'oh hell no' and proceed to explain why or else he'll show some enthusiasm for the idea. In either case, agree with him. If the answer is 'no' well, you haven't made an offer and so haven't actually been rejected and you've saved face.
Devildog Posted November 26, 2005 Posted November 26, 2005 I would say he is probably following your lead. If you were to start turning up the heat a little bit, you would probably find the two of you getting hot and sweaty in short order. If you are both single, try to get a little more physical. Or take the plunge and grab him and kiss him. You will get your answer.
mini696 Posted November 28, 2005 Posted November 28, 2005 The people you date a probably jealous becaue of the feeling you show for him. I bet you are affectionate towards him in front of your SO's. Thats not very fair and you shouldn't be so blind to the feelings of your BF's. No wonder they didn't work out. As for your question. Your going to have to get teh guts to ask him directly if he thinks you two would be able to make it as a couple. Personally, and in my experience, I doubt it would work. I have been there with a friends who was been in my life ever since she was born (our parents were friends, so we knew each other from day dot). We had the "more than best friends" conversation a while ago, and it ended with me telling her I saw her like the younger sister I never had. Not what she wanted to hear at the time, but it was honest, and we are still best friends to this day.
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