naturalgoddess Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 I have recently met a man, and he is everything that I have been looking for in a man. He is so suave and handsome, and I automatically felt a connection. I have been hurt so much that I had told myslef that I would never let another man get that close to my heart. I went out for drinks with this guy a few times, and after a few dates I slept with him. He then proceeded to inform me that he was married and had a child, he also stressed how unhappy he is with his marriage. At first I was angry, and I should have left it at that, but I didn't. Now I have found myself in love with him and I dont know what to do, because I know this man will never leave his wife.
kitten chick Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 You know you will have to get out eventually so I say the earlier into the relationship the better. You already know he's a liar and a cheater, why exactly are you in love with him?
whichwayisup Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 As much as it will hurt you now - Better to end it and get it over with...Can you imagine your pain in another 6 months? He's a real s*** for not telling you he was married with kids to begin with. WHY on earth would you want to be with a man who purposely neglected to tell you about his martial status! You love him but you DO NOT know him. Read some OW threads, see what they've been through... You know already he isn't going to leave his wife. So why even bother with him? Unless you want alot of pain and to be a helping hand in crushing his wife and kids hearts...Don't do it.
LucreziaBorgia Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 I have recently met a man, and he is everything that I have been looking for in a man. He is so suave and handsome, and I automatically felt a connection. Of course - how else would he be able to convince you (and his other women he's no doubt been with) to sleep with him? Your 'connection' is more a one-sided product of your imagination and wishful thinking than it is caused by genuine feelings on his part. He sounds like a narcissistic predator who fed you what you wanted and needed to hear so that there was an illusion of 'connection' - makes it easier for him to soften you up for this: He then proceeded to inform me that he was married and had a child, he also stressed how unhappy he is with his marriage. What would his chances be with you (or any of the other women he's done this to) if he told you right off that he was married, that he loved his wife, had no intention of leaving her but simply wanted some strange on the side? Probably zero. Predatory MM will say pretty much anything to increase their chances. They have to try twice as hard as single guys, and will lie if necessary to get what they want. I know this man will never leave his wife. If you want to continue with him you have a choice: you can choose to be a HOW or an UOW. To be a 'happy' other woman you'll have to accept it for what it is, accept it for what it isn't and never will be and understand your place as his OW. To be an 'unhappy' other woman, continue to participate in the breaking of your own heart by refusing to see this man for who he really is, and what he really wants and keep holding out for a future you will never have with him. If you want to see this man for who he really is, offer to help him escape his terrible marriage by offering to speak with his wife. I guarantee you he won't be so suave then.
witabix Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 LucreziaBorgia....... Sarcasm? Dump him.... he is a s***. You will never feel safe with a MM who cheats on his wife!
JayKay Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 You are not in love. You are infatuated. True love comes with time, trust, building connections, honesty, humour, weathering through tough times together and establishing a true, real friendship. Sorry if I sound like a crusty old soul here, but really....what you are enveloped in now is a cloud of chemicals and fantasy. Please spare yourself additional pain. THere ARE better things out there for you, if you don't bury yourself in needless, painful dramas like this.
Recommended Posts