renaissancewoman101 Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 I am new to posting on this site. My ex broke up with me after a two year relationship this past Sept. I had seen the breakup coming because I had begun to lose my feelings for him in Feb and had begun to pull away from him as well as stop treating him well. Although when he broke up with me, my heart was shattered and I wanted him back because I missed him and all the nice and good things he used to do for me. My ex is a genuinely nice and caring guy. He was always thre for me when I needed him to be and he always put me first. He treated me VERY well and he was always doing little things for me like buying me treats, treating me well, spending LOTS of time with me, etc. I loved him a lot but I couldnt deal with the fact that he was 32years old and still living at home, he had an ultra-controlling mother who was always putting him down and treating him like he was a child and that he didnt know how to make decisions about things, he didnt know how to drive, he lived in a childlike world where he loved computer games, playing Magic, hanging out with his friends drinking and smoking, buying toys, collecting stuffed animals (his room looks like that of a teenager), and that he liked to BE different and act different than most people. What he liked to do was to stand out by being different in the way he dressed and acted. In the beginning I treated him well and he fell in love with me because of that. I loved him because he was always there for me when no one else was. Things were great for about a year, then he told me he lost his feelings for me and we almost broke up that time. But he came back because he missed me and how good I was to him. We lasted another 4 months and then I lost my feelings for him and began to pull away from him and treat him bad. When he first broke up with me, I was ok with it, and let him go for two weeks, then I missed him a lot and called him up to hang with him. We hung out one Sat but that night I got really drunk and had a nasty fight with him and I begged him to come back to me. He didnt want to fix our relationship. He wanted out and I was mad about that. In the last few months, I have tried to get over him while yet try to reconcile with him. I have tried to talk to his mom, with whom I was on good terms with (during our first break, she helped us reconcile), talk to mutual friends, see him at places, etc. We had a few fights but no reconciliations. Right now I am currently friends with a lady friend of his whose son is very good friends with the ex. I have poured my heart out to her in the hopes that she can help me get back together with the ex. The ex has meanwhile found a new gf ( I know the girl too, she is WAY younger than him) which is not so good. I have talked to the ex on some occasions since he has my cell phone that I pay for. Last year, I got him a cell phone and put him on my plan so that he could make calls to both me and his friends easier w/o having his mother hassle him whenever he is using the house phone. He doesnt mind me being friends with her. Now to the weird thing. The ex has moved on and found a new gf. He wants me to let him go and move on with my life. FOr the past two months, I have been unable to let him go and have been pining away for him and trying to get him back. This past weekend, our mutual lady friend invited me to a Gen Con type convention that the ex was going to be at. I agreed to meet the lady freind on Sat. She told the ex I was coming and if he had any objections to it. He told her that he didnt care if I came just as long as I didnt go and confront him or follow him around the convention. I agreed not to do that. I met up with my friend on Sat evening and we went out to dinner before coming back to hang out at the convention. I hung out with her that night in smoking section because she smokes. We had a great time chatting. There were other people with us that night and some guys found me cute (I was in a good mood that night and I was confident and I had dressed well). One guy started making out with me and I responded. We were making out most of the night. At point that night, around 1:30 AM, I got up to go and use the restroom. The minute I got up to use the restroom, my ex shows up and proceeds to get mad at our mutual friend. BTW, my ex was also very drunk that night (my ex has a little drinking problem in that he drinks a lot). He was mad that I was there and that I was having a good time. He was mad because he didnt think I should come because this was HIS thing and last year, when I came with him, I told him that I didnt like the convention and would not come back the following year. He was mad that I was there and having a good time. When he saw me coming back from the restroom, he skulked away. My friend told me what he said and what her thoughts on it were. She thinks that my ex is mad that I was having a good time and enjoying myself. She also thinks that he was mad because a guy was paying attention to me and we were making out. I sat down and continued to make out with the guy and talk to some other people. Meanwhile, my ex had gone to the other side of the room and was bitching to my friend's son (a close friend of his) that I was there. My ex was very angry about the whole thing and he was bitching for a long time to my friend's son. Finally, my friend's son came over to talk with his mom (my friend). They had a heated talk and when she came back, she dragged me to the restroom to talk. Apparently my ex was very drunk and very angry I was there. He again reiterated that this was HIS thing and I shouldnt have shown up. I was like "we told him on Friday that I was going to be there and he had NO objections" I kept to my side of the bargain and didnt look for a confrontation with him nor did I follow him around. I then told my friend that if he was that pissed, I would leave since I didnt want to cause trouble. My friend told me "DONT LEAVE. YOU ARE HAVING A GOOD TIME AND HAVING A GOOD TIME WITH THE GUY. IF YOUR EX IS PISSED THAT YOU ARE HAVING A GOOD TIME AND ENJOYING THE ATTENTION OF A GUY THEN IT IS HIS FAULT, NOT YOURS. IF HE DIDNT WANT YOU TO DO THAT, THEN I GUESS HE SHOULD NOT HAVE DUMPED YOU. She then told me that she thinks the ex was pissed that I was having a good time and enjoying the attentions of a guy. She thinks that he thinks I should still be pining for him since I have been for the last three months. She thinks he is peeved that I am finally letting go and may be moving on with my life. DO you guys think that is true???? He dumped me to date someone else. We had a two year serious relationship. I was having problems letting him go the first two months of our breakup and he wanted me let him go and move on. He went and found a new gf. NOW THAT HE SEES I MAY BE MOVING ON< HE HAS THE AUDACITY TO BE MAD ABOUT IT????? What does he expect me to do, be sad forever and pine away for him????? I am still sad about this and I miss him a lot but to have a guy pay attention to me that night helped to raise my self-esteem and make me feel good about myself. I want to move on so I can heal, but if the ex came back now, I would still take him back. Sometimes, I wonder if he still has feelings for me.
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