In Sync Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 Yes, I'm coming to closer to the cold hard fact. While I'm crying and struggling to understand all the endless whys...the truth is brutal. He's moved on. Though I'm commiting to NC, the truth is he's moved on, he's over me and he's not looking back. I've bargained with God, asked the Devil, cried a zillion tears, but he's well past me. I read something that made me realize another fact. If he broke up with me in April, then mentally he ended it at least 2 months before. See what I'm saying folks, most of our ex's have checked out of the relationships we have built up long before they actually dropped the axe. Which shed light on why they were able to move on so quickly. But there are more facts, here. I am a kind, descent, loving intelligent person. I am emotionally beautiful as well as physically. He saw those facts about me and decided he didn't want it. And after viewing that prior list of all the things I won't miss about the ex (made me dumbstruck to see how much we've all wasted our energy on people who could care a rat's ass about us) Time to shift gears...and appreciate and honour my own uniqueness. The fact is if somebody loves me, they would not have treated me in any of the ways I described that the ex treated me and I would not have allowed it.
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 i'm going through the same thing... its the lowest you can feel... i've had this before but its worse again this time i know what you mean by checking them out before! i've never done this but i think for me this is why my ex wouldn't commit to a future holiday! and thats exactly why she moved on so quickly... only thing is 1 week before her brother asked her how we were doing and she said "we're doing great"??????????? she also said if she got her grant that she would pay to go for us on holiday i'm a good person too, i treated her like a princess and she said she spent 9 years with a guy who never once complemented her! life is the pits! what can we all do? i'm fed up! thats a long time to be broken up ... mines only 1 month ago, you should be making progress! have you been doing NC?
solsta Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 aw hun, i'm sorry you are in pain, most of us here are as well. you do deserve someone who loves you 100%, and you will find that person. chin up
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 aw hun, i'm sorry you are in pain, most of us here are as well. you do deserve someone who loves you 100%, and you will find that person. chin up lets face it not everyone finds someone who loves them 100%! i hate being cynical and 5 months ago i thought i did but its looking unlikely, especially the older you get she got that from me but as it now turns out not from her look at all the old people who were always single! thing is what do you do with yourself in life? watch tv? i don't want to!
cynicalnlove Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 Yes, I'm coming to closer to the cold hard fact. While I'm crying and struggling to understand all the endless whys...the truth is brutal. He's moved on. Though I'm commiting to NC, the truth is he's moved on, he's over me and he's not looking back. I've bargained with God, asked the Devil, cried a zillion tears, but he's well past me. I read something that made me realize another fact. If he broke up with me in April, then mentally he ended it at least 2 months before. See what I'm saying folks, most of our ex's have checked out of the relationships we have built up long before they actually dropped the axe. Which shed light on why they were able to move on so quickly. But there are more facts, here. I am a kind, descent, loving intelligent person. I am emotionally beautiful as well as physically. He saw those facts about me and decided he didn't want it. And after viewing that prior list of all the things I won't miss about the ex (made me dumbstruck to see how much we've all wasted our energy on people who could care a rat's ass about us) Time to shift gears...and appreciate and honour my own uniqueness. The fact is if somebody loves me, they would not have treated me in any of the ways I described that the ex treated me and I would not have allowed it. Yes i agree, our exes have moved on. They were finding the perfect excuses to break up with you. So, if they have moved on - I know it hurts like hell, but somehow you have to convince yourself to do the same thing. Because no guy or girl could keep you locked up with their memories, its now entirely up to you.
scobro Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 thing is what do you do with yourself in life? watch tv? i don't want to! Get yourself a kickass home theatre!!!
Author In Sync Posted November 22, 2005 Author Posted November 22, 2005 BrainRightHeartWrong lets face it not everyone finds someone who loves them 100%! i hate being cynical and 5 months ago i thought i did but its looking unlikely, especially the older you get she got that from me but as it now turns out not from her look at all the old people who were always single! Sorry, here's another fact: YOU ARE WHAT YOU THINK. In fact its worked perfectly well in regards to the ex. We have had the mindset the ex's were near diety status, like gods...and we put them above us. well, suprise suprise, they took a look at that image and said "S*** I want someone who's better than the lowly creatures below me." You don't need this woman in your life dude. she's gone. finito, done. she walked away. Just as my ex did. Put yourself on that pedastal. YOU WILL ATTRACT SOMEONE WHO ADMIRES YOU. only the difference between you and your ex, is that you have empathy and compassion, and will still treat a woman with respect. Fact: The EX's HAD NO RESPECT FOR US. Refer back to that list about what's good to be without them. Look at the lack of respect they had no problem giving us... We are not a refelection of their distorted image of us, we are worthy of goodness and love...but we are not going to get it unless we accept that as a hardcore fact. Not half-assed belief but true...I KNOW I HAVE IT...I've just got to shake off the muck called memories of the ex and their crap. And GO FOR IT.
wahaha1 Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 Everything happened for a reason. After some years, when you look back, you will understand why this happened and you will find that you are living as a better person. BTW, I am also on the same boat. Trying to get over a guy...
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 Everything happened for a reason. After some years, when you look back, you will understand why this happened and you will find that you are living as a better person. god i hate sayings like that! makes it feel a brilliant relationship and the best time in life isn't meant to happen! for example I have a stupid aunt who went out with a great guy then gave him for this violent alcoholic with a bad family, funny now he is dead and she is on a scrapheap somewhere! other crap sayings... -its not you its me -i haven't been on my own since i was 17 very much (ex is 33), don't know what that means but i'm not sure she is on her own (wish i knew in a way ) -look its for the best ( yeah and for me so is a tonne of bricks landing on my head! ) -if its meant to be its meant to be ( well thats obvious! ) -look i don't want to hurt you ( too late you already have and why didn't you tell me this at the start otherwise I wouldn't have gotten into this! ) -are you still going to the same pub as I am ( do you like torturing me? ) -you are one of the best guys i have ever met ( really so thats why you're walking away from me ) - i know how i feel about you but there isn't any future in it -go out and get yourself a nice girl ( extreme heartbreaker comment... hello yesterday you were my nice girl and you still look nice) this is to name but a few, anyone have any more?
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 my best firend was on the phone with me making fun of my ex's lisp, it i was hesterically laughing,.....love is blind aint it
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted November 23, 2005 Posted November 23, 2005 you must have hated your ex or at least didn't like him... my first ex and my latest I would never say anything about i wouldn't poke fun at them... it makes you look bad and immature, imagine someone did that to you?
consumed Posted November 24, 2005 Posted November 24, 2005 wow "BrainRightHeartWrong" some of the sayings you mentioned my ex told me those when she ended things and the last time we talked on the phone. 2 wks ago on the phone she said "Go out and find your self a nice girl". I was think what the heck? Doesn't she relize Im in pain, like I really want to go out and find another girl. That's some wierd thing to say to your ex after you've just broken up with them... I never got that one. Also she's told me many times "If it's ment to be, it will be" or "If you love something, let it go, if it returns it was yours, if it doesn't it never was". And yeh, she told me countless times noone has ever treated her as good as I do.... so why would she want to break things off and possibly look for someone else in the future however far off that may be if I've told her I want to be with her. I don't get some of the things they say. The other thing that I can never stand about "If its meant to be..." and it eats me inside when I think about it: say we are ment to be... she could date other people in the future, and develope feelings for them.. so I mean then she's always going to have feelings for someone else aswell. Its like that movie "The Notebook".
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