solsta Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 I have been with my bf for a year and 4 months now. I love him to death. However he has major comittment issues. Seems every 3 months or so he pulls back. He is very set in his ways and can be very selfish, but at times very tender. Anyways in the spring I had enough and ended things. I was fine with it. He begged and cried and won me back and for 2 weeks he was the man I knew he could be. The following months into the summer he picked little fights with me all the time, nitpicking, etc. Through it all I stood by him. I cook for him, buy him little gifts, do sweet things when I can. He does nothing. Since he works at a bar I have always been a little insecure about that, but he assured me all the time he has been there, done that. I thought the fact he is 33 might be an indicator he is telling the truth. The past 2 months or so we are constantly breaking up and getting back together because he says he can't give me a commitment at this time but knows i am the girl he will marry, he just needs some time to sort things out. This is devastating to me because I put so much into things and I know his potential. I am now so insecure and unsteady in this rocky situation. Backing up a bit, he went to vegas with a buddy in the spring and I trusted him so i thought it was fine. Well due to all the craziness, and I think what I did was wrong, I read his journal. It said he got together with some girl and one thing led to another. He swears all they did was stupid drunk necking. I don't know what to believe. It is all so hard on me. I tell him it's over but inevitable I keep coming back for me. what is wrong with me????
Author solsta Posted November 21, 2005 Author Posted November 21, 2005 I wanted to add that he is majorly insecure, he gets his confidence from attention from women, he flirts a lot at his job. Also the online dating forum we met on he has had his profile up on and off the whole time we have been together. I tell him it hurts me it is on there but he leaves it up there. I constantly cry, almost lost my job and am completely depressed. i know i need some counselling or something.
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 i understand the problems of letting go, its extremely difficult.......but in your case i feel that you should....the journal thing...what an idiot to write about that, but still " one thing led to another" that says it all. no more making excuses for his behavior you dont want an insecure man who has to flirt with other women to gain his confidence thats unattractive dont be nice to him, dont talk to him right now...be strong honestly because his actions forshadows alot in the future it did with me.... GOOD LUCK
Author solsta Posted November 22, 2005 Author Posted November 22, 2005 amazing what ignoring someone does. Someone who wants space now won't leave me alone. I guess all this NC stuff i have been reading about is really legit. Too bad I really am so emotionally drained from this the NC is not difficult for me.
cynicalnlove Posted November 22, 2005 Posted November 22, 2005 amazing what ignoring someone does. Someone who wants space now won't leave me alone. I guess all this NC stuff i have been reading about is really legit. Too bad I really am so emotionally drained from this the NC is not difficult for me. He has committment issues, and he's using you as his on the side girl. He cheated in vegas, but you went back with him. So he knows now that if he does it again, you would do the same thing. If you love yourself as much as you love him, make him suffer like you did. Continue the NC thing, and make him do everything he can to get you back. You're giving in too easy i think.
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