vmenino Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 Ok, this is a complicated story. I met this guy at work. We sarted getting along real fine. Of course, being a woman and silly as hell, I developed a crush on him. The hints he gave me where that he had interest as well (you know, things like, hanging around a lot, chatting me up a lot, blushing every time I spoke with him, touching me whenever he could, calling me sometimes 4 times just to say silly things). Nevertheless, I still wasn't sure of his true feelings. And then I got word that he had a girlfrined, though he calls her just a "friend". That cooled me off. But I still wanted him and wanted desperatly to know if he had interest in me or not. After all, just because he has a girlfriend, doesn't mean he's going to be with her his whole life, particularly when showing signs of interest. To try and understand his true feelings, I tried to provoque jealousy in him. Maybe not a smart move, but a girl's got to know. Then. last friday, he told one of our mutual friends that he didn't want to pursue a relationship with me because we work together. And that some time ago, something between us almost happened but since it didn't, now it's too late. So, what the heck does this guy want anyway? And are we already in the cold area? Did he loose his interest altogether? Should I Just let him go? Should I try and speak to him? He's the shy type and I'm afraid of the "NO".
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 i think your best response here would be....... he has a girlfriend.
Author vmenino Posted November 21, 2005 Author Posted November 21, 2005 Ok, I understand the girlfriend issue. But again, do we back off just because someone has a GF? What if they don't want to be in that relationship anymore? You know, nothing really lasts forever. And does he sending signals of interest only means he does not care about cheating on her?
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 nothing does last forever, but what if your confusing him... what if he does have a good relationship, and if he is sending you signals...if you become his gf what makes you think he wont send another girl signals;).. maybe one day i will be put in a situation where i have a crush on someone who does have a girlfriend.....but right now your best option is to wait for him to pursue something he could just be flirting and that is normal, boys and girls do flirt!
andyleagues Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 The other thing that I would bare in mind if I was you too woul dbe the value you give to your job. If your job is long term has good prospects and you actually enjoy it then I would stay well away from the guy. Because what could happen and what happened to me in the workplace was that I got involved with an engaged lady who finished me before the wedding and left me totally devistated after a 18 month relationship behind her fiances back. The problem that went with this was that I couldent handle being at work with her and had to give up a really good job along with the prospects too. Yet she remained in the job and got the marriage! However, if you felt that you really wanted to be with this guy then I would say that you could only be with under one circumstance and that would be if he finished with his girlfriend. Dont let him have his cake and eat it..
Author vmenino Posted November 21, 2005 Author Posted November 21, 2005 S'pose your right Brit. I thought it best to let him choose and that's what I've been waiting for. For 4 months now. But the thing is, it messes me up. And you're right, boys and girls do that. But I'm not a girl anymore and neither he is a boy. Question is, do I try and talk to him and find out what is really going on and mess things up or do I wait and maybe miss a good oportunity? And regarding the signs he could be sending should I be his GF (which I don't think I will) well, that's a matter I would have to deal when that time arrives. At both our ages (37 and 33), the possibility of finding some unattached man is very slim. What I mean is one way or another, the guys you meet are in a relationship or just left one. And if they're not in one, you can bet they're gay. Anyways, I actually don't know if he really is interested, and after last Friday, he did give me the cold shoulder.
Author vmenino Posted November 21, 2005 Author Posted November 21, 2005 I know what u mean, Andy. I really do. Darn, living as a single is sometimes a hard task. But I don't think he would break up with his GF just to be with me. And that's the thing. Why show signs of interest when u don't really want to be with that person? I mean, I was married and only after my divorce did I start looking around. I know people flirt with each other, but it is a dangerous game to play. Particularly when the other party gets involved beyond reason.
Brittanyjean06 Posted November 21, 2005 Posted November 21, 2005 well your saying he gave you the cold shoulder? thats a big sign, what kind of good signs has he been giving you? and being in a work force, thats bad to..things could get really awkward, i guess when your older you can be more blunt with eachother,? be blunt and get a response if you have to, than you can know if you can move forward w/ out him
Author vmenino Posted November 21, 2005 Author Posted November 21, 2005 Brit, he gave me the cold shoulder after our mutual friend's talk with him. Kinda like he was uncomfortable. But he usually gives me good signs, like I said earlier in my first post. All I can do really is sit and wait. The choice is not really up to me. But thx guys anyway, for the advices.
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